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“ DID MY INVITATIONS DISAPPEAR? ”
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"SO... are you guys up for a game of truth or dare? dirty edition?" Richie winked. I smiled sarcastically at him, flipping him off. "fine," he huffed, "we can play normal truth or dare, I guess." he frowned.
I grinned. "perfect."
"so, Bill, you get to go first." Richie beamed, "truth or dare?"
"t - truth." bill gulped.
Richie smirked, "I was hoping you'd say that," he sighed, "is it true that you like Beverly?"
I clenched my jaw, glancing at Bill. "I d - do." He confirmed shakily. Richie clapped. "okay, Zara, truth or dare?"
i hesitated. "truth."
he smirked, once again. "is it true that you like Stan?" bill looked at me like a lost puppy. I just raised an eyebrow. "I do," I said, so coldly, venom coming off my tongue as my eyes remained on Bill's. his face saddened and I felt a bit bad. "what about you, Rich? truth or dare?" I grinned.
Richie chuckled. "oh no, i never said i was going to play."
"what the fuck? that was-" Bill interrupted. "Bill, you're up again, truth or dare?"
"dare." he sighed.
"i dare you to kiss Zara." Richie challenged. My eyes widened. Bill looked at me with lustful eyes. "d - do you w - want to?" i shrugged and put a 'mask' on to hide my sheer terror, "its just a kiss, right?" i chuckled nervously, glancing at Richie. you so owe me, i mouthed silently.
Richie smiled at me sarcastically. Bill rested a hand on my cheek, his hand was shaking, though. it was sort of adorable. i leaned in and laid my lips on his, kissing him. i had to tell myself to not get to attached, because all along, this is what i wanted.
was to kiss the shy boy i fell for so quickly, and simply.
and it felt like i was on the top of the world, like i had everything i ever wanted. i pulled away immediately, realizing the situation. i looked at Richie ashamedly who already had his focus elsewhere. and for the millionth time today, he had that stupid smirk on his face that i so badly wanted to slap off. i looked up to where he was looking and there he was.
Stan. My boyfriend. just watched me kiss someone else.
regret and sorrow immediately set in and spread all throughout my veins. my heart had just dropped. Stan started to walk away and i immediately stood up, "stan! stan, wait!" i called after him. following him, i ran outside in nothing but my socks on my feet. i grabbed ahold of his wrist and pulled him backwards. "Stanley!"
he looked at me, his eyes glossy like he was holding a waterfall in there. "Stan, it was just a dare. olay?" i grabbed a hold of his face, "a stupid dare that Richie put us up to. it didnt- it didn't mean anything."
he pulled away. "no- Zara, i see the way you look at him! we all do! you just want to be his and we all see it. i didn't want to believe it. i wanted to think that you were all mine but-"
"stan, it was just a dare!" i chuckled, in disbelief.
"okay but you didnt have to do it!" he fought back.
"i wasn't about to lose to Richie, for fucks sake!" i replied,
he clenched his jaw, "see that is the problem, Zara! you and your personality is so big and it just gets in the way and you just can't accept the fact that if you finally let someone in you're gonna get hurt again because that's all you are! a sex toy!" Stan snapped, causing me to flinch, "you dont mean that..."
"i do." he said, walking away. while i just stood there, watching him ride his bike away.
it was true.
all i was,
was a sex toy.
i snapped back into reality and looked back, seeing Richie and Bill on the porch. tears took over my vision, i walked up to richie and slapped him. i was finally able slap that stupid smirk off his face. "you knew he was there! you invited him so he could see me and Bill kiss! you had that whole thing planned out! and how'd that work out for you? was it worth it? you know what, Rich, fuck you!" i snapped, " and fuck you!" i pushed Bill's chest violently within each shout, "fuck you! fuck you!" i gave out and sobbed into his shoulder, he stood there awkwardly while i was having a breakdown. i don't even know whats wrong with me.
Bill looked at Richie with an awkward, confused expression of which Richie returned with a shrug. I clenched the fabric of Bill's shirt in my hands, the material preventing my nails from digging into the skin of my palms. Suddenly, Bill hesitantly wrapped his arms around me. And, even though I would rather not even be here anymore, I sink into it, resting my hands so that they were flat on his chest.
Then, Richie came up and joined in on the hug. It was warm, despite the mild temperature of the evening. It was silent.
"I'm s-s-sorry, Zara.." Bill whispered. Richie sniffled. "I'm also sorry.."
I was too mad. It's not that I didn't want to forgive them. I just couldn't speak. When my body fills up to the rim with all sorts of different emotions, it's like it blocks a canal and stops words from passing through my vocal chords and spewing out of my mouth. I guess it comes from a fear of saying something wrong, that I can never take back, no matter how much I mean it or didn't mean it.
I shoved Bill and Richie to either side of me, walking into the house and collecting my things. "Zara, come on! We can make it up to you!" The boys yelled as I walked past them, flipping them off behind my head as I rushed home.
I went in through my window so that my dad wouldn't know I was home. My bedroom door was locked from the inside, so I didn't have to worry about my dad snooping while he thinks I'm gone. I just plopped on my bed and slept all through the night.
