Where It Stays | J. POTTER [1]

14 | confessions

"Do you guys think baby Thestrals can see their parents?" James asked them as they all sat in the Gryffindor common room.

They had just returned from their Care of Magical Creatures lessons and they had learned about Thestrals. James hadn't stopped talking about them since.

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked, clearly exasperated with the boy's ridiculous questions.

"Think about it," he suggested, "If in order to see them, you have to see someone die, does that mean the babies will need to see someone die? And if that's the case, does that mean they think that their food just magically appears? And if the parents can't see them either, what do the mother's think is happening when they're giving birth? And-"

"I love you but you're a bloody idiot," she informed him as she turned the page in her book. The group fell silent and she looked up in confusion to find them all looking at her. She raised an eyebrow, "What?"

She turned to look at James who was watching her with his eyes wide and jaw dropped open. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. She raised her hand and patted the side of his face, "You okay?"

"You just-you..." he trailed off, shaking his head, unable to form a full sentence.

Maya raised an eyebrow at this, she moved his head so she could examine his face, "Are you sick or something?"

"Um, Maya?" Sirius spoke up and Maya turned to look at the other three boys to see that they were all watching her in surprise as well.

"What is it?"

"Well," Remus sat up slightly, "I believe you just said three words that you probably didn't mean to say just yet. Or maybe just not in this particular setting."

She paused for a moment as she tried to figure out what she had said when it hit her, "No, I didn't."

"You definitely did," Peter countered and Maya glared at him.

"Maybe we should give them a minute," Remus suggested, standing up from where sat. He reached down and helped Sirius to his feet. Peter followed in their footsteps before the three disappeared.

Maya rested her head in her hands and the two sat in an uncomfortable silence.

"Do you?" James eventually asked.

Maya grew confused at this and turned to look at him, "Do I what?"

"Love me, I mean," he explained, shaking his head slightly, "Do you love me?" The question felt more loaded then it should have. It was a simple yes or no answer but it felt like, depending on what she said, everything would change. And she wasn't sure which one he wanted to hear.

"I said it," she confirmed but they both knew it wasn't an answer to the question she had asked.

"Well, yes," he agreed, "But did you-did you meant it?" Maya ran a hand over her face and James sat up. "Know what? You don't have to answer that," he decided, "We can just pretend it didn't happen, if that's what you'd like."

"We can't do that," she pointed out and they both knew she was right. "I do love you, but..."

He grew confused at this, "But?"

She huffed, "I don't know."

"You don't know if you love me or you don't know what the problem is?" James asked, clearly confused, "Because I'm not understanding any of this and I feel like we're going in circles."

"That's because I'm pretty sure we are," she sighed, pushing herself into a sitting position.

"And how do we fix that?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

"Yeah, this is getting nowhere," he announced.

"Very observant of you."

"We're off topic now," he pointed out, "'But' what?"

"I had planned to tell you," Maya explained after a moment of organizing her thoughts. "The night I found you and Madilyn together. I was ready to tell you."

James frowned at this, "I thought you said it was forgiven."

"It is," she agreed. "Really, it's just...Prior to me knowing that you were under the influence of a love potion, I thought about it. About how you deserved and would quite frankly be better off with someone else. Anyone else really. Although now I'm thinking maybe not Madilyn. But someone else. Someone like Lily."

A look of what seemed like understanding dawned on his face. "Lily and I are just friends," James reminded her. "I promise."

"I know that," she nodded in agreement, "But that doesn't mean that she wouldn't be better for you. Or anyone else for that matter."

"But there is no one else," he pointed out.

"You don't know that."

He raised an eyebrow at this, "I would be the one to know that."

"No, I meant..." she trailed off for a moment, "There could be someone else and I don't want to be the one to get in the way of that."

"I don't want anyone else," he countered.

"You say that now-"

"And I'll say it later," he cut her off. He placed his hand under her chin and moved her head slightly so she was looking at him, "You could give me the option of any girl in the world and I would choose you. Every single time. I would choose you, Maya."

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his before pulling away, "I love you."

"And you aren't going to take it back again?" he asked playfully.

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not going to take it back again."

"I love you too, Maya," he told her and she pulled him back towards her, pressing her lips to his once more.