I'm fine, We're fine [boyxboy]

Sixteen

Harry's POV

On our way to the bar, I saw Zayn unloading a stack of boxes from his car and making it as if to take them inside of Liam's house. I could have taken the turn two roads back and it would have wound around, leading us ten minutes out of the way to the same destination, but I came this way on purpose. Every time the dial tone from Louis' phone sounded, I knew it was dialing out to Zayn. It was always dialing out to him, but he never answered. As we passed the house, Louis turned and stared. In the reflection of the window I watched a curious expression cross his face, but he didn't say a word. Neither did I.

Neither of us had said much the last month when it came to our friends and family. Occasionally one of them would come up in casual conversation. Sometimes it was Niall and Louis was asking if he was still cooking or if Lottie was still with her boyfriend neither of us had met. Zayn was never brought up, eventually Louis stopped calling him. Liam was their only means of communication and information between one another and even that was strained. Louis never mentioned his parents.

The parking lot was crowded when I slid my silver car into one of the few remaining spots. Some people were on their way in, most of them girls about our age in outfits that left little to the imagination. One of them turned and I caught her eye. Gloss was thick on her lips and even when she smiled at me, I could see the strand of our hair stuck in the sticky mess. I hoped the expression on my face would tell her I wasn't interested.

"Seven fucking weeks and my ribs still fucking hurt."

Louis' grumbling pulled my attention back to where he was unbuckling and fingering along his sides. Every second or so he would flinch and mutter something dark that I couldn't make out.

I opened my lips to apologize but quickly bit my tongue. Louis' words echoed in my mind. "Don't apologize until you can tell me why." There was still no answer I could give to explain my actions. My old therapist had sent me emails about my missed appointments, but I didn't bother. It hadn't helped the first time and I wasn't wasting anymore money or insurance on it. Louis still mumbled beside me as he let his seat belt slide out from around him and back into its holster fixed to the upper right of his seat.

"At least my damn face cleared up. I'm surprised you didn't do any permanent damage." Louis turned a wry smile my way and played with the frayed edges of his black tank. "Aside from my ear, of course. Can't forget that shit."

Curse words had become a regular part of Louis' vocabulary. I didn't correct him and if I were being honest, it sounded damn good coming from his lips, but it wasn't him. This colorful-tongued smoker wasn't my Louis, but like most of my concerns and questions, I kept it to myself. Louis was different now. He still laughed and smiled, but it wasn't the same. The corners of his lips didn't reach his eyes and the corners of his eyes no longer crinkled up. The sex was fantastic but whatever tender affection there had been before was gone. Tight shirts and jeans that were too fitting had replaced his oversized sweaters and hoodies. Sweatpants were no longer a part of his wardrobe. Louis was small now, smaller than before, and he made sure I knew it. "You always said I was getting pudgy. Now you can see my ribs!" he would smirk and pull his shirt so tight around him that it outlined his figure that was quickly looking more malnourished than just slim. He hardly ate and ran too much. Louis' high, arched cheekbones were too prominent, the circles under his eyes dark. Nothing about him was the same as it had been five months ago.

Using my own words against me hurt, but who was I going to complain to? All of our friends were alienated from the both of us now and my parents were out of the question. There was no one to blame but myself because I had raised my hand and turned Louis into whatever this new version of him was. We still hadn't talked about that night.