I'm fine, We're fine [boyxboy]

Seventeen

Zayn’s POV

“Liam, baby, I know this is your house, but I don’t want Harry over here.” 

Liam lifted his head from the table where he was bent over his laptop. His gaze wavered on me for a second before he closed the device. The legs of the chair made lines on the carpet we had put under it and the rest of the table when Liam stood and came to where I was in the kitchen. His hands were on me and Liam worked a sigh from me as his fingers worked the tight knots from the muscle around my shoulders and neck. 

“This is our house now, Zayn,” he reminded me, nuzzling into the back of my neck as he worked. “I know you don’t want Harry here, I don’t want him here either, but I know you want to see Louis whether you want to admit it or not. They’re a package deal, you know that by now. I can’t invite one without the other tagging along.” 

He was right and I knew it. I hadn’t spoken to Louis, but guilt was eating my spine and gnawing on every organ nestled inside of my body. Every night I fell into an uneasy sleep wondering if my best friend was okay, if he was even alive. I was plagued by dreams where his screams would have me tossing and turning, sweating through the sheets in the dead of night. Often, on the nights before when I would stay over, Liam had to shake me to wake me up. On the nights when I slept through, I woke up wondering about Louis. My mind was always on Louis. 

“... I know, Liam,” I finally sighed and leaned back against him. “I just can’t bear the thought of what he might look like. What if they show up and his arm is in a cast or his hair is gone or he’s covered in bruises.. O-or…” I stuttered, tripping over the lump that was now consuming my throat. The hands holding my shoulder twisted me around and Liam was holding me to his chest. I cried like this every other day and every other day, Liam held me. 

Liam shushed me softly and stroked along my hair. He kept up the simple motions until I quieted down and lifted my head. “I know all this crying makes me a baby. I can’t imagine how unattractive it must be.” That made him laugh and Liam was shaking his head. 

“Nothing could ever make you unattractive. In fact, a good cry always does us a little good. Mental health is important and yours is most important to me.” He kissed my head and wiped under my eyes. “Louis is okay, Zayn. You haven't been talking to him, but I’ve kept in touch. He’s fine and he’ll be over tonight.” Louis had also promised that Harry would be on his best behavior, whatever that meant, but Liam kept it to himself. 

“Does he know I moved in with you?” Liam had pulled away but I leaned into him again, pinning him between my own body and the sliver of counter in front of the sink. “Was he happy? He always told me I’d fall for the first cute guy who showed me attention and I would be living with him before we hit our six month mark.” 

“All of that is true and yes, he was thrilled.” Liam tipped my chin up and kissed me again. “You worry too much. They’ll be here later, Niall, too. We’ll all be together again, so we should attempt to clean this place up a little before we cook.” 

Liam’s words had me looking around. The house was small, perfect for us, but my things had cluttered it up considerably. There were boxes on the table, on the floor. A few of my jackets were laying across the back of the couch, their coordinating shoes behind it. I had filled the spare closet and the hall closet with the rest of my clothes and blankets. At one point I was sure Liam was going to change his mind and ask me to leave when he saw how many things I really came with, but he only laughed and helped me bring everything inside. I really thought the breaking point would be when I brought in a picture of my grandmother and asked if I could hang it. Liam was surprised, but the picture and the beady eyes within it were now bearing down on us through the walls of the spare room.