Wish I Knew You Sooner

chapter twelve

Author's note: there are some sensitive topics talked about in this chapter, so please read at your own risk! I love all of y'all so if you get triggered easily, please be careful reading!

A smile grew across my face at his words.

Angel.

Sweet energy wrapped around us as he leaned in to lay a soft kiss onto my lips. I melted into him easily, and each time he kissed me, it felt as if it was the first time. My heart swelled as his lips molded to mine like clay. I could feel his breath blow across my nose, and it mixed with mine as it danced around us.

The second he pulled away, I opened my eyes to meet his where he looked down at me with his green eyes that looked brighter under the soft glow of the rising sun. his warm breath mixed with mine, and we stood there soaking up each other.

My mind began to swarm, and I quickly broke the bubble we were standing in, and turned around to head back to the car. I looked down at my shoes, scratching the back of my head as I started to breath heavier. Stress took over, and I got into the car, hoping he was walking behind me. I let out a deep breath as he also climbed into the Jeep. He turned his head towards me, and I could see the confusion across his face out of my peripheral vision. He sat there for a little longer than a normal period of time, which painted the picture that he could pick up on my off behavior.

My breathing began to quicken, and I could feel my chest tighten, signaling a small panic attack start to set in.

"Sorry, I think I just need to get home." was all I mustered up to say.

"Um... are you okay?" he asked.

"Yea." I ended the conversation there. He started up the car after realizing that I wasn't going to speak anymore. We drove back to my house in silence. This time not as comfortable. The slight hum of the radio pulling me in and out of my wild thoughts. I felt uncomfortable with him for the first time since he came into my life, but it wasn't his fault whatsoever. It was all mine, and my overactive imagination. I looked up at the house that just came into sight, and felt some sort of odd relief that I was finally home. He pulled up, and turned to me.

"Oakland?" he asked, I could feel what was about to happen. "What's going on?" his words dripped with complete confusion. I shook my head, not meeting his gaze. I kept my eyes on my fumbling hands in my lap as I responded.

"Nothing, just tired." I deflected. He stayed silent, so I looked up at his furrowed brows. His eyes showed concern mixed with lack of uncertainty. I sucked in a breath, trying to speak, but nothing came out. "Goodbye Harry." I said finally, ready to get out of the car and into the comfort of my room.

"Not goodbye." he said as I turned towards the car door. I looked back over my shoulder to him, who is completely facing me now. "I don't know what is going on, but I wouldn't want to pry, so this isn't goodbye. I will see you again. Right?" he asked, and the final word had so much promise in it.

I rolled my lips into themselves, trying to form what I wanted to say. Of course I wanted to see him, but my mind was racing at a million miles right now, so I couldn't properly think straight.

"Soon" all I said.

He nodded once, "Soon" he repeated.

I got out of the car, and went straight up to my house, not looking back but I heard him drive away once I got to the top of the driveway. I snuck back into my room, and laid down instantly. A rush of emotions flooded me, and confusion was one of them. Why am I feeling so much anxiety and worry after spending time with the dream man? He was everything and more: kind, talented, caring. What else could I ask for? Then again, I leave in a week, so why am I getting so involved with someone who I will inevitably never see again? My heart somewhat ached at the thought of it coming to an end. This is just fun. Harmless, mild, fun, right?