A World of Silence

Chapter 24 - Therapy

Levi POV
About a week after my injury Leon brought up family therapy. He thinks it's a good idea to try to mend our broken family which I think is ridiculous seeing as how the other side of my family is refusing to go. Well besides my sister, Maya.

She claimed she wanted to come because she regrets not building a sibling bond with me when she had the chance. I know it's a bad word but I truly think that is bull shit. She doesn't care about me and never will. I think mom must've forced her to do it otherwise she wouldn't even think about wasting her time with us.

"Levi are you ready to go?" Leon signed.

I sighed and nodded.

We all walked to the car together as a family and I couldn't help but wish I had a normal happy family. It would've been so much easier to deal with than what I have now.

Today the therapist was meeting with me alone. When he tried to explain why I just lost focus and gave up trying to understand. I honestly didn't care. I just wish Roman could be with me.

So here I was. Sat on a navy blue couch across from an old man with a notepad.

"Good morning Levi. I'm Dr.Quentin." He signed and spoke simultaneously.

I nodded. "I'm Levi." I signed. I wanted to bang my head against the wall for repeating my name even though he had said it. I was already exhausted from this. I hated meeting new people and this was just going to ruin my week.

He smiled warmly, "Nice to meet you, Levi." He signed once again.

Again, I nodded nervously. A slight perspiration started to bead at my forehead. My hands turned clammy as well. What if he asked me to tell him my deepest secrets? Isn't that what therapists do?

"So how are you feeling today Levi?" He questioned.

"Fine." I signed.

"That's great. So what made today fine?"

I looked at him in confusion. What does that even mean?

He took note of my silence and expanded in his question. "Why wasn't your day excellent? Why wasn't it awful? What made today 'fine'?"

"Oh. Um...well it wasn't excellent because Roman and Noah aren't here with me. But it's not awful because my step dad Leon is in the waiting room and I'm not in the hospital anymore." I spoke. My throat ached, but I wanted to show him my confidence. I think I wanted to make him believe I was normal, so I wouldn't have to be here anymore.

He smiled briefly at my answer before signing, "Tell me about Roman."

I smiled for the first time in this room. "Roman is my best friend ever. He's a grade above me because he's 11 and I'm only 10. And I love his eyes." I rambled on. "His grey eyes reminds me of the moon. And he likes to read comics with me. And he's super nice."

"So you guys are close?"

I nodded enthusiastically. Roman told me himself that we were best friends which means we are cause he never lies to me.

"So Levi why do you think you're here today?"

"I'm not sure. Leon said that our family needs healing, but I don't know what that means."

"Do you think your relationship with your family is different from other families?"

I hesitated. My family doesn't like me. My brothers and sister hurt me a lot. But Leon's family doesn't really like me that much either. I'm a deaf fairy and I don't think many people like that.

"I'm not sure. I've been in two different families now and they've both disliked me. Except Leon, he says he loves me."

"What about Roman's family. Is your family different from his family?"

"Yes. Roman's family is nice I think. I've never met them, but they brought me food when I was in the hospital without me asking. I've never been brought food while I was sick before." I replied. My throat was starting to ache a bit more, so I decided to sign from now on.

Dr.Quentin wrote something down before looking back up at me.

"Do you want a family like Roman's?"

"Yes." I replied quickly. "Roman is always happy when he talks about his family. My family doesn't make me that happy."

He wrote something once more on his notepad which made me nervous. What if I said something wrong?

"So today your step dad brought the family here to talk about ways to make your family improve. He wants everyone to be happy including you."

I frowned at him. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Oh. That's nice." I signed.

He seemed to notice my change in mood.

"How does it make you feel knowing that, Levi?"

"I'm not sure." I frowned deeper. "What if it doesn't work? What if we're never happy because of me?"

"Levi before we get through today's session I want you to know that your family's problems has never been your fault and it never will be."

I was now beyond confused. My whole life my siblings and parents have expressed how much better their lives would be without me. My parents wouldn't be divorced if it weren't for me. My siblings would probably be happier and stress free if I never came into their lives.

I think I ruined Leon's household too. As soon as we got home from the hospital he yelled at Harry and Daniel and grounded them. Since then they've completely stopped talking to me. They didn't talk to me that much before, but now they were just intentionally ignoring me and I didn't know why. I felt like such a bother already, so I didn't dare ask.

"Dr. Quentin I disagree." I signed calmly. "You don't know me, Dr.Quentin. I cause my parents a lot of stress. With my medical bills, speech therapy and just my presence in general I seem just cause a lot of issues."

"Levi in the short time I've known you I have concluded that you are a very bright child. You can communicate in ways far more advanced than most of your peers. Despite you feeling as though you're hated by everyone you never fail to be grateful of the small things. Like food when you sick and being surrounded by loved ones." Dr.Quentin leaned forward in his seat and placed his notebook down beside him. "I think you believe you're a burden because you've tried so hard to please those around you that you haven't taken the time to think about yourself. It's now the end of our session, but by the time we meet next week I want you to make a list of five goals for yourself. You won't be obligated to show me the list of course."

It felt weird knowing that Dr.Quentin listened to me. He paid attention to my words and made me feel valued in a way. I know he's paid to listen to me, but it felt a bit strange to feel so comfortable with a stranger. However, it was a nice change.

We said our goodbyes and I walked out of the room and went to the waiting room where Leon and my mom were waiting.

They got up abruptly at the sight of me. "So how was is?" Leon asked with a kind smile.

I thought about it for a second before replying. "It was different," I signed. "I felt like I was being heard while barely using my voice."

Leon nodded and led us to the car.