Marriage Deal

Part 11.

Mild arrives at the house of the married couple with Godt. Mew got startled since he only know that it will be just Mild who will visit them. 

"Baby... I'm glad you're okay now." Godt hugs Gulf but the latter just stayed still and went stiff. He pushed the man slightly and step back looking at Mew begging to save him. 

"I'm sorry who are you?" Asked Gulf, Godt is just looking at him and then he turn to look at Mild.

"I told you he can't remember a thing" Mild just shrugs. He went to kitchen to transfer the food he brought for the married couple and for them too. 

Mew stands beside Gulf and put his hand on his wife's waist, Gulf immediately leaned to his husband for support. Both earned a glare from Godt. "Bii... he is Godt, your cousin" Mew smiles at him and Gulf also smiled and nods a bit.

"I'm sorry phi, I didn't remember you." Gulf sincerely apologize. The elder just nods and give him a reassuring smile. 

"Baby... Why don't you go and help Mild in the kitchen? Me and your husband will just talk for a bit at the backyard. Well go in once the food is ready. Alright?" Godt said, Gulf looked at Mew and his husband just nod at him saying its okay. 

Gulf sighed, "hmm, talk fast okay? I'll be just at the kitchen with phi." The two just nodded at him. Gulf kissed Mew's cheeks before he went to the kitchen with Mild.

Godt walked to the backyard with Mew following him. Godt sit on one of the chairs facing the garden of flowers that Gulf cultivated himself. Mew sit on the other chair but none of the two speak. It's just silence, full of anticipation, anger and anxiety. 

"Mew, I want you to sign the divorce paper." Godt started which startled Mew for his straight forwardness. 

"No, I don't want to. Unless Gulf tells me himself that he wants a divorce, then I will do it for him" Mew said firmly. He already made up his mind, not this time that he is slowly falling for his wife, not this time that he is slowly understanding his feelings for the younger. 

"What do you think will happen if Gulf regain his memories? Don't hurt him more Mew. You're hurting him and yourself in the process. Give space that you need for the two of you. If Gulf regains his memory and still wished to be with you then so be it but I don't want to see you two being cozy and lovey-dovey then the next day when he regains his memories you'll be broken again." Godt sighs, "I'm not just saying this only for Gulf's sake. This is also for you Mew. Let's say you two retain this setup of yours. What if he regains his memories? He will be angry at you for hiding the truth from him. What if he decides to process the divorce? What if he cannot accept that you love him now. What if he no longer loves you?" 

Mew's heart ached, Godt got the point but Mew wants to treasure the time he got left with Gulf. Even if it's just for a second he will hold on to the younger guy.

"I understand but I want to hold on to any hope I can get. I want to be with him for as long as he wants me." Mew took a deep breath trying to hold his tears. "If... If Gulf decides that he wants divorce then I will give it to him. If Gulf says he want me out of his life, I will do it. If Gulf says that he no longer love me then I will accept it. It doesn't matter if he still loves me or not. I love him and that's enough for me to keep going." Mew said as he fails to hold his tears longer. 

"I know I'm risking everything here but what choice do I have? I don't know how Gulf suffers before but if I have to do the same thing then I will. I'll stay by his side as his husband, lover, friend, brother or maybe just someone he knows. I will accept everything and anything. I will do everything for him." Mew's tears continues to flow, he wiped his own tears and compose himself. 

"Think about it Mew. Don't be selfish. Let Gulf go, he deserved it. He deserve to be free from you and your marriage." 

"I know. It's just that I can't. I don't know but I don't want him to leave me yet. Not now, I still can't." His tears flows again. 

"You're being selfish Mew you know that? You're depriving him of something he deserve. Gulf never deserve you. You're too much of an asshole for him. He deserves better, he deserves the best. You're only thinking of your own well being, your own pain, your own heart. How about his?" Godt spat. 

"I-I... I'm sorry... I can't - I can't leave him yet... I'm sorry... Gulf, I'm sorry... Boo is sorry na... phi is sorry..." Mew break down. His cries is getting louder and louder. Godt is just staring at the crying man in front of him, he stands up and pat Mews back. 

"I'll go in first. Compose yourself. Think about properly Mew. Consider his feelings and well being too. Remember he is like this because of you." With that last remarks Godt went in. 

Mew don't know how long he is crying. He don't know what Godt told them. He can't face Gulf, he is too guilty to do it. His emotions resurfaced. He keeps murmuring sorry to no one but Gulf as if his wife can hear him. 

Mew's looking far, dizzy with all those tears, in dazed. He holds the sunflower in his hand. "Will you be happy if we get divorce now Gulf? I'm sorry you have to go through this, its my fault. I'm sorry for not realizing my feelings for you sooner. Just give me time, just give me time and I will give you your freedom. I- I will let you go" Mew didn't bother wiping his tears anymore. No matter how hard he tries, it keeps on pouring. 

He is in his vulnerable state. He is also oblivious to his surroundings, he don't care whoever can see him cry there. His feeling were overwhelming. He didn't even noticed that someone's watching him breaking down there. 

  

After another hour passed. Mew's able to control his tears. He decided to go in, Gulf might be searching for him already . 

He found Gulf sitting in the living room with Mild and Godt nowhere to be found. Gulf looked at him, his eyes kinda red. Did he cry too? 

"Boo? Do you want to eat? I will reheat the food. They left already." Gulf's about to stand up but Mew hold his arm. 

"Its okay bii, I'm not hungry. Did you eat with them?" Mew asks wishing for the younger his red and puffy eyes. 

"I did." 

"Hmmm. I'll rest bii, I'll be just in our room if you need me okay?" Mew said, he badly need rest. He is tired and exhausted crying. He smiled at Gulf and turn to walk away.

"Mew..." Gulf calls him without looking at him while he is still on the stairs halt his movements. 

"Yes?"

"I don't want divorce. I will not have a divorce with you" Gulf said still looking at the TV.

Mew's puzzled, "What do you-" 

"Sleep Mew. You need rest" Gulf cuts him off and increase the volume of the TV to avoid further discussion with his husband. 

Mew didn't push it further and just decides to go to their room to rest. 

~~~~~~

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