Asher (Completed)

A Breath

Allistair’s POV

I ran my hands across my piano keys, taking a deep breath and meditating on the piece I had just played.

I groaned in exasperation when I still couldn’t focus. This had been happening as Asher and Layanne’s work together progressed.

I mean I was happy; it had been three weeks and he seemed to genuinely be doing better. His “sessions” with Layanne combined with the songs I kept recording for him had really done him good; it seemed to help ease this crushing guilt constantly crowding his mind.

His eyes had regained the luminescence I thoroughly missed; his skin had recovered their lost colour and radiance.

I was genuinely happy, but each session with Layanne simply reminded me I had unanswered questions too.

The more she asked and he willingly responded; it served as a reminder that there are still huge blank spots, three years worth, from the last time I saw him and really talked to him till  when he came to New York on a whim.

I didn’t want to push him deeper into himself, or in any way affect the progress he’s been making or the progress I want him to make; but now I realise that in doing that I’m still simply letting him shoulder this guilt and pain on his own.

I never  want him in pain; especially when I know I can help him in any way.

These days, it seemed Layanne helped distract him from that.

I noticed his attraction for her since the first day we all met. That’s something else I wanted to ask him about.

Truthfully if he was, I could relate. The more I got to know Layanne, the more I was awed by her grace, beauty and empathy. She was amazing and in the past days, my mind had begun to lean to the idea of she and Asher together, well all three of us together really.

Though I knew Asher definitely had a long way and a lot of inner turmoil to deal with before anything like that. 

It seemed although he was healing; he remained in this bubble of denial and secrecy. He was clearly still terrified and holding onto it like a safety blanket.

I know true progress takes time. I’m not expecting zero relapses or push back. I’m not expecting an immediate acknowledgement or acceptance of his feelings, but I also know Asher.

He has changed a lot in these three years and I know there is a lot more cause behind this shift than what he’s letting me see.

Yet, the part of him that at times needs a push into coming to terms to what he’s feeling or simply admitting it, still exists clear as daylight to me.

Just on cue, Ash popped his blond head through the door with a small smile.
I nodded at him and his smile widened as he scrambled and jumped onto the water bed that was still perfectly made up.

In case, he needed another live performance

I shook my head at his child like antics as he laid back on his left arm, looking up expectantly at me as he said “Play something for me, my good sir”.

I burst out laughing “Man, you’re confusing reality with British shows again and honestly you’re just getting too demanding” I finished quirking my eyebrows at him.

He shrugged, “You should be glad, this is great practice and besides due to personal reasons that you know of I have decided to deny my current reality and live on in the world of carriages and teas”, he responded with a straight face.

“Oh my God” I managed to stumble out in between laughing and crying.

He finally cracked at the sight of my face before putting his hand up in an “I am done” motion “Okay, okay. I’m done. Seriously though, what are you doing up here? You missed breakfast”