Asher (Completed)

Courage

Asher's POV

I groaned as I felt the sun’s rays hit my face and the resulting heat sting my cheeks.

I rolled onto my back, taking my black airpods out of my ears and reaching towards my bedside table to grab my phone, when I saw the time on my alarm clock that clearly had no effect on me today — 10:30 —

“Shit” I swore as I pressed pause on a new recording of a song Al had played me. I turned towards his side of the bed, not all that surprised to find it empty; the bastard had taken it upon himself to not wake me up again.

This had been happening for a week now, since that day he’d played that song for me in the music room. The next day he explained that while practicing with the piano, he was thinking of me and he got reminded of this talk by one of his professors on Music therapy, and he decided to give it a go.

I’ve never been one for therapy but this was different, the music was doing all the speaking and I couldn’t help but let it heal me. Al knew this and proceeded to provide me with new recordings every night. I don’t think I can actually remember the last time I’d been able to sleep so soundly, night after night.

My problem now shockingly, just like today is waking up on time and of course Alistair would never wake me, his reason being — he wanted me to catch up on all the long hours of sleep I’d been missing — that was all fine, but not what I needed today.

I rolled my eyes, as the memory of exactly what exactly was so important about today took a hold of me; Layanne had gotten the contract I already signed, She’d sent it back to Ian with her own signature of approval and now it was all official.

Today. I ran my hands over my face, feeling it quiver as my beating heart quickened. Today, would be the official start of the writing process; God maybe I did need those extra hours.

I let out a deep breath, reminding myself that I’d already met Layanne and she was actually cool, besides Alistair would be there.

I nodded, feeling my heartbeat slowly return to normal at the reassurance that yes, Alistair was going to be there.

I pushed out of bed when I felt my nerves were almost completely stable. I played with the cords on my jogger shorts as I looked around for my shirt, before finally giving up and just picking up what I could find which was Al’s night robe which laid neatly on his side of the bed.

I made my way downstairs, as I kept on tying the ropes trying to cover as much skin as possible. I started to feel someone’s eyes on me as I got to the doorway of the dining room.
I stared directly back at Alistair with a raised eyebrow, before he finally responded with his arms folded “Welcome to the land of the living Ash and you have my robe on?”

I rolled my eyes taking my seat across from him, “Ha fucking Ha, you know you could have woken me up, we have that meeting with Layanne today at 12 and its like 10:50 rn. Also I couldn’t find my shirt”.

I replied, reaching towards the dishes on the table to serve myself some bacon and eggs when I felt Alistair hit the back of my hand causing me to pull back immediately with a sharp groan.

He rolled his eyes at me, before staring back at me sternly “1. You’d find your shirt a lot easier if you refrain from simply just throwing it around the room when you take it off, 2. We still have time, we won’t be late for the meeting besides you and I both know it would be a lot harder for you to handle today without a full night's rest and 3. how many times do I have to tell you, to stop eating cold food, you’ll make yourself sick”.

I folded my arms, knowing he was right again before retorting “Well it's your fault I’m having cold breakfast and we better not be late, I’m trying to make a good impression”

I felt a wave of confusion come over me as I watched Al’s expression darken for a minute before it was gone and replaced with his usual calm look as he simply said “We won’t be Ash, I promise”.

As if he knew what I really needed was his affirmation.
 


It was like our first meeting all over again, I walked into the coffee shop, saw her and my pulse started spiking.

It was just like our first meeting, only this time it was different. I felt Al take my hand in his and give it a squeeze, then nudge me with his shoulder. A reassurance and a push; very Alistair.

I smiled to myself before nodding at him and taking a step forward. Today, Layanne had taken a window seat; probably because it had more space for us to seat around and it was pretty warm.

I realized Alistair and Layanne had on very similar outfits, a black linkin park t shirt with black jeans — only Al’s were full jeans and the t shirt more of a sleeveless tank, while Layanne had on a crop top and shorts version.

I looked over to Al and saw he was flashing his dazzling smile at her meaning he’d also taken notice. When we sat down, he immediately commented on it stretching out his hand “Well, Layanne it’s my entire pleasure to meet someone with such great style”

Layanne flushed at his words, before releasing a nervous half chuckle and taking his hand.
Alistair held onto her hand longer than you’d expect from a handshake, and you could feel the mood of the room shift, becoming more serious as he just stared at her before finally pulling back with a smile and saying

“I think I’m going to like you”.

I released a breath I didn’t even remember holding and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Layanne slightly exhale before finally smiling for the first time today “I’m glad, because you’re also a very big part of this project”.

Alistair smirked, laid back into his seat, slowly crossing his left leg over his right and replied “I know”.

I rolled my eyes at how he just couldn’t help but be him every second of the day. I could see Layanne was becoming increasingly flustered..again and it had only been five minutes. I couldn’t help but laugh and then covered it up with a cough because I didn’t want to make her feel worse.

“I’m really sorry about him,  Layanne; he can be a lot to get used to, but unfortunately we need him. What would you like to start with?” I said squinting my eyes at Al who only slightly shrugged in reply.

Layanne nodded, “Well, I would love some background into Al’s life story, relationship with his parents and such. Of course, I know who they are but it would be better to get the story directly when I have access to the source; but I realise that’s a lot to get into and just watching you both relate right now I can’t help but want to know how did you two first become friends?”

I froze. She was right, this was an easier topic to get into. That didn’t mean it was all easy to tell; I turned to Alistair so fast I gave myself whiplash, only to find he was already staring at me with his head tilted to the side and a raised eyebrow, — as if asking me  for confirmation.

It was of course more his story to tell, than mine and yet here he was. Even after we’d talked about it, and I said I was okay to go forward, here he was asking if it was okay to tell his story because I was still a part of it.

It was such a small, offhand gesture but I felt my heart squeeze and tumble into my stomach at it. I sometimes wondered if along the way in my life I had just made up Al; to feel less misunderstood because being friends with him truly felt unreal.

I was silent for a while, and I think she took that as hesitancy because she looked over at me and said “Maybe you could let me know what you want to get into first?”

I simply smiled at Al before responding “It's really more of his story to tell”.

He nodded at me, understanding that as my “go ahead” before looking over to Layanne and saying “I’m going to need a drink first”
Her eyebrows shot up at his words before replying “I’d genuinely take you up on that but it’s barely 12:30 and we’re in a coffee shop…on a Sunday”

Alistair sighed running his hand through his long locks “I know right, just my luck”.

He sat up in his seat folding his arms and continued “I’ll tell you everything but you have to promise I get to pick the next place we meet”.

I rolled my eyes “You don’t have to promise anything, He signed a contract too”

He scoffed dramatically “The contract I signed was basically a non disclosure and it had to do more with me agreeing to not share what I say at our meetings or about the book, it didn’t specifically say I have to do any sharing at all during the meetings, which was very insulting by the way”.

I groaned “Dude, I said you didn’t have to. I also told you it's just because Ian likes having everything formalized. You said “whatever””

Alistair turned his entire body towards me this time, with his eyebrow raised “What I shouldn’t have signed?, just to increase Ian’s completely obvious trust issues, when he’s only known you, three years but suddenly your best friend is the one not to be trusted?”

It was my turn to groan dramatically, he had brought up ever since he had to sign that damn contract three days ago.

I would be more anxious about having this entire “argument” right now in front of Layanne if I didn’t know him well enough to know he wasn’t really pissed off and actually liked Ian.

I think he understood more than me in truth, Ian’s need to have a formal agreement, he was basically just a friend of a friend to him and it was still business.

He just loved riding me on, about it.

I was about to respond again when Layanne burst out laughing before asking in between her fits of laughter “How do you guys get anything done?”

I felt my cheeks heat up, my arms fill with goosebumps and my fingers start to slightly shake under the table. This was about Raine and of course I couldn’t do it right. I always fail her.

I felt Al give my arm a soft squeeze and it brought me back. I looked up to smile at him but he was already looking straight ahead to Layanne. He didn’t want to make it obvious.

Still, I think she knew something was wrong; not what exactly was wrong but more like she could tell that I had become more shutdown, because she stopped laughing and her expression was somber. “I’m sorry Asher, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I-”

Alistair jumped in for me “Its okay, he’s just getting used to being able to make a beautiful girl laugh.
We can start now, do you want to notes or record, so I know how fast to go”

I couldn’t help but release a snort at his beautiful girl comment and the weight on my chest lifted when he steered the direction of the conversation back to what needed to be done.

Layanne’s eyes seemed to glow brighter at the compliment, the only sign she was affected this time, before she replied “Yeah and I would prefer to record this, it's more efficient. You can just go a little slow so I can pick out the words”

Al nodded in agreement and she pulled out her phone from her black Metallica cotton purse. She placed it on the table and turned on her voice recorder app before proceeding to give Al a thumbs up as confirmation to start.

“Asking about when Ash and I first met can be such a difficult question because I’m pretty sure he saved my life”. He started off looking directly at me.

I blushed as the compliment washed over me then He smirked like he was absolutely proud of himself and went on “Ash and I grew up in this completely destitute, off the map town far south in Texas. Ash had been there since he was five but I moved when I was still practically 11 years old and it was a big change”. 

He paused chuckling dryly.

I paused with him too mentally, I absolutely despised hearing him sound so cold. I wanted to reach out and touch him but I knew this was something he just had to get out.

“See like you said, you did your research meaning you already know who my parents are. What you don’t understand are the dynamics. 
My mother was practically a matriarch, she ruled the family and my dad couldn’t be bothered enough to care. We used to live in Los Angeles and you know the city and the world there.

My older sister May, she was just turning 13 when we moved but a couple of months earlier, some girls had convinced her to sneak out and go to some dumbass party and she’s someone who hardly goes anywhere but this is her first year as a teenager, coupled with her getting close to her highschool years, I guess she felt entitled. Of course you can’t hide anything from my mum, I don’t know why she thought she could, teenage arrogance or something but at the end of the day our mum found out and she flipped”.

Stone hearted bitch

“It was a family meeting, where she yelled and ranted about the disrespect. How my dad should have just let her raise us how she wanted. The way her parents raised her and now she was going to”.

Alistair took a deep breath in “I know it's just moving, it’s not a big deal but do you know how hard it is especially back then for a Korean kid to make friends at an American Highschool? I mean I wasn’t captain of the football team or anything but you know I had actual friends”

He ended with a laugh, but I could hear the slight shake in his voice and I felt my eyes sting, but he didn’t look down or hide his face, he just went on because he knew he had not one thing to be ashamed of.

“Anyways yeah, A week later we were moving. I guess Dawson was where my mum was raised, so my grandparents could properly condition her into the heiress they required. Which she was obviously planning with us because we couldn’t keep “bringing her shame instead of success”. I couldn’t explain how I felt in being a collateral damage of my mum’s anger towards my sister but I knew that couldn’t compare to how she felt because after that, May completely changed. We used to be close but Dawson happened and I lost my sister”.

I couldn’t go on listening to this. I signalled for Layanne to stop the recording and Alistair looked at me.

“Al, you don’t have to go into so much detail, we can just scrap this entire thing and simply say we met in middle school. Ian and the rest of the fucking world can either take it or leave it, I don’t give a fuck”.

He smiled softly for a minute before his expression turned serious “No, I said I was going to help you through this and be there for you. You’re going to explore some very uncomfortable parts of your life too in this, your laying yourself bare out there and I’m not going to hide either”

The amount of support I felt from his reply was so overwhelming all I could do was nod. Layanne through all this said nothing, giving 
Alistair space to make his decisions; this subtle form of support for Al who she just met formally overwhelmed me just as much, I noted mentally.

“Thank you Layanne, you can go on recording” 

I said staring directly at her and just simply wondering how well she just seemed to fit with us.

She smiled and gave another thumbs up that she was good to go.

Alistair gave me another look before he started up again “Like I said, I had lost my sister. Sometimes I think back and realise she was the one thing that kept me going those days, kept me smiling and not feeling well…lonely”.

He took a deep breath, this time he couldn’t even be bothered to mask his pain.

“I had just turned 11, was tossed into this all-white, middle of nowhere town in Texas as an aftermath of my mum’s controlling nature and now with no one. So naturally, the first day of middle school was hell”.

I winced as the unpleasant memories came flooding in.

“When we first came into town, we took a couple of weeks to settle in, get registered at the schools. I remember I barely came out, because everywhere I went people stared. I stayed close to my mum because honestly she seemed to scare everyone; the adults kept their distance, the kids basically ran but when she turned her back, they’d..they’d um..they’d pull faces”.

Eyes, specifically.

He swallowed and ran his hand through his hair again “Just on that, I knew that my first day was going to be a bitch. Worse, I’d have no one on my side; my mum viewed, the racial oppression as character building, a look into what I’d experience out in the world and my sis…well she just did whatever she could to please dear old mum. It was how she dealt with the guilt I guess”.

I rolled my eyes, Another cold hearted bitch.

He looked at me with a sly smirk like he knew what I was thinking before going on, “So first day of middle school, I don’t think I’ve ever had that much anxiety about something. I was trembling all the way from the house to the school. My sister just seemed so nonchalant, cool and collected; Halfway into the day, I thought I was just overreacting, seeing things where there was nothing. 

Then Lunch time came, so I guess they were just waiting for enough time; I remember walking over to the cafeteria and these two kids were waiting over at the door for me, like something out of a teen movie. You know back then, I was small, skinny and these kids…these kids looked like they snacked on supplements all day”.

Jesse and John. I swear those two acted like demons on crack; they were the ultimate proof some people just grew up cruel.

“I haven’t seen them in years and yet I could never forget them, their faces scarred in my mind. I remember seeing them and realizing I was so screwed, they were the kids who pulled faces at me; I just stopped dead in my tracks, the dread I felt that morning just returned in full force and my entire body was trembling, every time I think about this, I just know I never want to feel like that again, scared, not in control, back then I didn’t know how to defend myself, didn’t know how to really but he came around and changed that”.

At this point, he was just staring right at me and I couldn’t look away.

“I knew that this was exactly what I was terrified of, and of course they knew I was terrified and enjoyed it. They kept walking towards me, laughing, smiling like they got off on my fear. There was nowhere to run, and honestly I didn’t even try, I didn’t want to be chased; I just wanted it to be over, I was just ready to take it. They were both blond, looked alike so I guessed they were brothers at the time. I remember the first one who spoke, he was an inch taller. I remember his words clear as day — 

“Hey, I’m Jesse and that there is my brother John, we just thought we’d come introduce ourselves. Never seen a chink up close you know”.

I had to let out a breath because I could feel my blood boil.

“I remember, his brother just laughed and reached over to pull at my eyes. I remember he looked over to his brother and said “Like one huge slit”. I remember that must have been the first actual panic attack I had, I would never forget just feeling so small and alone. Then I heard this really pissed off voice “What the actual fuck” ”.

This time when he laughed, I knew it was genuine.

“I mean this was the guy about to become the most important person in my life. I’ll tell you something — You do not want to see him mad. When he came in, I actually saw fear flash across Jesse’s eyes and John just looked pale and he was this tiny brunette kid not much taller than me”

I was not tiny.

“He walked over in front of me and shoved them both out of the way. He turned to me with a sympathetic look before casting a dark glower at Jesse and John — “You dumb fuckheads just don’t know when to quit” — ”
“All of a sudden Jesse looked twice as small and it seemed like the ground had swallowed up John but Jesse wasn’t ready to back down. He told Ash that they were just having a bit of fun and he said —

I rolled my eyes jumping in with him “And shockingly at the expense of others. I’m already having a bad day, do my new friend and I a favour and go have your fun somewhere else before I beat your ass..again”

Not going to lie, that was definitely one of my finer moments. I loved seeing that bastard Jesse leave immediately because he knew I would actually kick his ass. He was always all bark and no bite. Dickless coward.

I noticed Al and this time Layanne staring right at me chuckling. I had said that out loud…oops. I shrugged my shoulders with a light blush.

Alistair shook his head at me with a smile

“No, you’re right. That day and right now. It was in that moment that I just knew I had to know him…you. That day you brought courage into my life and that was just the beginning”.