The Letters In His Lunchbox

Note XIV

Honestly, it's fine.

I have been in this place for so long that anything else seems strange, weird.

I gave upon my dream long ago.

Life happened. I couldn't go anymore ahead with it.

I pursued it till college, but then I guess, it wasn't a path for someone like me to travel.
^_^

W

Somehow the last few lines of that days letter gave rise to a weird feeling in Yoongi as he thought of how to write a reply to it.

That day's lunch had been pretty much simple as he had mentioned in their last letter that he had recently been having some problems with heavy food.

The lunch box had been simple yet delicious, as always. But for some reason he didn't like the way she spoke about herself.

In the past few months, Yoongi had gotten to know the woman on the other side of the letter a lot more than he had anticipated. And much contradictory to his closed off personality, he himself found it easy to open up to her.

She was supposedly shorter than him.

She liked cats. She liked taking walks by the Han river, she had a habit of taking pretty photos of the sky, she liked listening to music, had plants at her home, grew cherry tomatoes in her balcony.

And her letters always had the same smell, the fragrance of Jasmine and cardamoms.

After the first few letters, he had come to the conclusion that the cardamoms were probably from the kitchen, but the Jasmine was definitely her.

A woman who smelled like freshly bloomed Jasmines on a dewy morning...

He'd often catch himself imagining how she'd look...

A woman who liked rhyming her words, often writing poems in her replies.

Someone who had an extensive knowledge in music and it's related fields.

She was clearly smart, but not arrogant about it, always humble in her words.

Reading her replies were always enjoyable. It felt like he was having an actual conversation.

Yoongi often found himself looking forward to them as a part of his daily routine now.

She was the same age as him, but was still working up part time jobs other than just the lunch box rendezvous.

Her other part time job was at the small restaurant near her home.

And that when she was in college, she used to work five part time jobs at the same, all while attending her classes, just like him.

Her mother had passed away at the time of her birth, and her father had suffered from cancer before dying, and that he left the apartment as a parting gift for his daughter.

Despite sharing such close details, the topic of today's letter was still something either of them hesitated to speak or write on.

Dreams.

There was a wall, a weird gap, a wide distance in between them when it came to dreams.

Because despite being already on the path he had dreamed for himself, Yoongi was finding himself at a dead end.

After years in the industry, he felt like he was facing a wall, he was afraid that his biggest fear would come true.

He was afraid that the reason he has having a burnout was probably because he was slowly losing his passion for his dream and that scared Yoongi.