The Letters In His Lunchbox

Note V

It had been a month since that day.

A month since Junhoe had spoken properly to her.

He avoided talking to her and often stayed out late, overworking himself.

And today was no different, she had almost become like a robot, a mechanical machine, getting up,preparing his things, then cooking the food for him, putting up the laundry, cleaning the apartment, doing the dishes, all to be just greeted with a lifeless kiss and an even more lifeless 'goodnight' and 'goodbye's.

It was tiring g her out mentally and physically, but she didn't say anything,  because she loved him.

She loved  him so much that she didn't even mind him forgetting the importance of the day today.

"Are you gonna be late today as well? "
Seungwan asked nervously as she looked at her boyfriend,  who was busy washing his hands.

Wiping his hands on the towel near the basin, he spoke tonelessly
"Not sure, I will text you if anything comes up. "

"Okay. "
She replied, careful not to show her disappointment, afraid that he'll lash out like that day a month ago.

Just text me... Not even a call...

That was it and he was gone, not even his usual goodbye kiss. Even though it had been emotionless for the last few months, those kisses had been something that was keeping her going. But now it seems like even that comfort was snatched away from her.

After closing the door, Seungwan turned, looking at her home, sighing heavily, he didn't remember. She looked around the living room, a place that used to excite her, make her feel warm, loved, a place that was filled with beautiful memories of her and Junhoe, memories she cherished so often.  But now?

Now it felt stuffy in there, suffocating her,  she felt something heavy on her heart as she slowly trudged towards the kitchen to do the leftover dishes.
The place that was her home, now was like a jail, a prison cell to her.

But she very well knew, it wasn't the home that was chaining her down, but him. But she couldn't do anything about it, she loved him too much to let him go.
She wanted to believe that they were just going through a rough patch right now, and that everything would be back to normal, in all honesty, she was afraid, afraid that he will leave her. In the last seven years of being together, she had forgotten who she had been once, to the extent that she didn't even know how to live without him. She wanted to believe that he still loves her. But it would be a lie to say that she was blind to the signs, the signs that her relationship, his love for her, was slowly, day by day, minute by minute, dying......
Atleast he was loyal to her... her only comfort.

Yeah he is loyal to me.........right?

She could no longer stay enclosed in the four walls of the bedroom she was currently sitting in, all these thoughts had made it even more harder to stay in. She quickly changed, getting ready to go out. Where was she going?  She didn't know..why was she going, she didn't know,

All she wanted was a breath of fresh air,  anywhere, away from the place she called her so called home.

Quickly changing into a pair of black slacks and a loose top, she tied her black hair in a low ponytail at the nape of her neck.

She looked at her now chubby figure in the mirror once again, she knew she had put on weight, and now it was beginning to bother her, after all she looked quite different from what she used to look three years ago, a time when she was all bones, but then again she wasn't the same target-driven person that she was then.