The Formidable

52

Over the next two weeks, Madison gradually started leaving the bedroom more often. Mia began talking again and was less nervous around everyone. She was playing as well, which was a relief to both Jase and Madison. He'd told her about Lily a week after the incident with her dad and she'd shed a few tears but had taken the news better than he expected. Then, he supposed, there was only so much more emotion she could express in such a short amount of time. For now, she was still relatively numb, taking every day as it came.

"Mummy, look!" Mia smiled, pointing at her book with a picture of a fish.

"What is it?" Madison asked, she'd been doing well to appear positive and normal around Mia in an attempt to keep her spirits up, and it was helping. Sometimes, she actually felt okay.

"Fishy," Mia replied, turning another cardboard page. Madison kissed her curls and winced at the headache that had been plaguing her for the better part of the day. Leaning across the bed, she pulled Jase's draw open in the hopes that there was some paracetamol. Her heart caught in her throat when she spotted the wallet, recognising it immediately as her dads. Her mouth felt dry and tacky as she pulled it out and held it up to her nose, brushing the cracked leather against her nostrils. It smelled of him, of his coats and how she remembered him smelling before he went to prison. With shaking hands, she unclipped the pop button. Her eyes welled.

In the front window was a picture of her and Mickey when she was around seven years old, smiling at the camera. They were at the beach. The day replayed in her mind as if it were just yesterday they'd been eating ice creams on the pier and building a grand sandcastle. They'd spent hours decorating it with shells and pretty stones, carving out doors and windows.

"What is it?" Mia asked, crawling over and blocking Madison's view of the photo with her head as she examined the wallet and picture curiously.

"That's mummy's daddy," Madison replied, adjusting Mia so she was sat on her lap. Madison brushed the photo with her thumb, wiping the tear from the plastic. Jase's voice from the doorway made her startle.

"He gave it to me to give to you. I wanted to wait until you felt better," he explained. Madison rubbed her lips together, sniffing and smiling at the bittersweet keepsake.

"He's had this picture in here since the day it was taken," she explained, looking at it again. Jase reached over, into the wallet and pulled out the small silver key. Madison's brows furrowed in question.

"It's for a safety deposit box. He said you were the only other person that was allowed to access it."

Madison let Mia hold the wallet, taking the key. "Did he say what was in it?"

Jase moistened his lips, unsure what he was about to disclose would mean for everyone.

"He said should you want to take anything further, the contents of the box will help."

Madison held the key for a few moments longer, until it grew warm in her hand before slipping it back into the wallet and returning them both to the drawer. She said nothing concerning her thoughts about that piece of information, and Jase didn't push her. It was something she had to sleep on.

She only slept on it for one night. The following day, Madison was perkier than she had been for a while. She was up early, showered and dressed, ready to go out. She placed Mia in the middle of the living room.

"Where you off to?" Jase asked, noticing she already had her shoes on.

"I'm just going to run back to mine to grab some more clothes for me and her. I won't be long," she replied. He narrowed his eyes, having a sneaking suspicion that her flat wasn't the only place she was going. "And I'm taking your car." Hers was still at the garage, neither of them had really thought to retrieve it with everything going on and it was safe enough there.

"Keys are by the door," he said.

Madison left without a goodbye. The contents of the safety deposit box hadn't left the forefront of her mind since Jase had spoken about it. Even if she didn't decide to move forward with anything, she needed to know exactly what her dad had up his sleeve for a situation like this. They never knew when it might come in handy, even if not for right now.

Her first stop was the bank. She gave her grandmothers maiden name and her birthday as the security questions, flashing her ID at the clerk before she was taken down into a bright room with hundreds of chrome drawers lining the walls. The clerk took her key and pulled out the steel box Madison was hoping held a solution to all their problems.

Her hands quivered as she picked up the crisp white envelope at the top. It was addressed to her, Mads written on the front in her dads spiky cursive handwriting. Carefully, she peeled it open and slipped out the piece of lined paper from within. He'd written her a letter leading up to the days of his death, and true to cliché form, it began with "if you're reading this, I'm dead." As her eyes flickered over the words, tears dropped silently onto the paper, running away with the ink.

My darling Mads, if you're reading this, I'm dead. And I died for a good cause.

I know your life has been a whirlwind of difficulties and I hold myself responsible for more or less all of it. For this I can't tell you how sorry I am. But I hope the papers in this box help you move on from everything and leave behind the life of terror I paved for you. Don't look at the files inside the bank. They have a very high value and should you choose to take the revenge route then they'll help you out of any sticky situation you find yourself trapped in, providing you use them wisely.

I hope you don't need this letter to be made aware of how much I love you, or how often I sit and regret the things I've done that you had to pay the price for. I should have been there for you growing up, I know I should have done better. Saying that, I know how Jase feels.

I never thought I'd like any man you involved yourself with, you've always been my precious angel and the thought of anyone breaking your heart breaks mine, but in the short time of knowing him, I feel confident that you're in good hands and I want you to go easy on him. He only wants what is best for you and Mia, I can see that from a mile away. Given the circumstances so far, he's done bloody well. The boy has a head on him. You're a force to be reckoned with when you are together from what I've heard, and I've heard plenty. I want you to know that me going to Benny was my idea, and I wouldn't have taken no for an answer. I didn't have many years left anyway. The cancer started in prison and it's done nothing but spread since. You know me, I would much rather go out the way I did over a hospital bed any day.

There have been many times in the past where I've been tempted to use these documents for my own selfish reasons, but I figured that they would be better spent on you and a situation where you'd need them was bound to present itself eventually. I don't want you to follow in my footsteps forever.

I wish you the best of luck. I love you, always,

Dad

She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes, slotting the letter back in the envelope and resealing it. Underneath the letter was a thick wad of papers tucked neatly into a cream folder. Madison wasted no time taking them out and closing the box again, waiting for the clerk to put it back in its hole and let her out. Whatever was in the folder, her dad was confident about its value which in turn, instilled confidence in her.

Maybe letting things lie wasn't going to be the plan after all. Taking a back seat had never been her cup of tea anyway.