The Formidable

46

Madison had remained upstairs whilst Mickey and Jase went for their little chat and was none the wiser that they'd even left the house which relieved Jase because he had a hard time lying to her. Mickey dropped Jase off at the house and left to deal with his own business and get some rest. On the way home, Jase had learned that the bar they'd gone to was owned by Mickey and it would be passed on to Madison, should she want it, afterwards. They both knew she wouldn't. She may not have been serious where taking Mia out of Jase's life was concerned but she wouldn't carry on in his lifestyle and the bar was clearly a popular stomping ground for her father's associates. Mickey had already informed him that Karl would be happy to buy it off her.

"Where did you go?" Sam asked as he walked out of the kitchen, drying his hands on a tea towel after washing dishes.

"Out," Jase replied, not wanting to get into it.

The gravity of the situation hadn't quite hit him and he was doing his best to fend it off and avoid the feelings that would skew his judgement and cause him to act desperately. If Mickey was willing to give his life for Mia's then it was an ultimatum Jase was almost ashamed to be willing to accept. He wasn't in any rush to pick up the pieces of Madison though, if she hadn't broke completely by now, Mickey giving himself up might finish her. She'd been through more than enough for Jase to know she was an impressively resistant women but everyone had their limit. The only reason she wasn't totally and utterly distraught and dysfunctional was because they knew they would get Mia back. With Mickey, she wouldn't. Sam shrugged off Jase's dismissiveness, more than used to it by now and rejoined Janine in the living room whilst he headed upstairs.

Madison was sat on the floor, staring at the mirror she'd stared at so many times before. Her eyes had sunken in slightly from the pure mental exhaustion and Jase wouldn't be surprised if she completely lost her mind once it was all over and done with. But he'd have nothing to worry about once Benny made the next call. They had a solution, one no one liked the sound of but a solution none the less. He patted down his back pocket and felt the outline of the key, a brief thought as to what exactly was in the security deposit box Mickey had crossed his mind. He brushed the thought away. It wasn't his business, yet. With any luck, it never would be.

"How you doing?" he asked tentatively. Madison didn't move or blink. He closed the door quietly, lowering himself to the floor beside her. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and she jumped slightly, barely registering he was there.  She stared at him blankly for a moment, as if trying to work out who he was. Since Mia had been taken, she'd been slipping in and out of a daze. One moment, she knew everything and the next, the lights were on but no one was home. He supposed it was the shock.

Jase had seen her like this only once before, when Adam had had a field day after they'd been given the picture of her, Mitch and Dylan. Gently, he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I'm here," he whispered. Taking on the role of being the strong one helped him as much as it helped her. Mia was his daughter as well but he couldn't lose track of time and space right now, he needed to be able to focus. If he had the responsibility of carrying Madison whilst she wasn't in a good state of mind, it gave him a sense of control. This was his way of dealing with things. His Madison would snap back soon, hopefully in one piece but that was doubtful. No one could return from this and be the same.

"I can't give him my dad, Jase," she croaked after a short while of him holding her. Jase once again said nothing and she sat back, looking at him. "We've had our differences but I've only just got him back. I want him to see Mia grow up and I want to be able to make up for lost time." Her eyes tinged red with tears again. And again, he pulled her into him and scrunched her hair up in his hand as he pressed her head to his chest. The weight of what he and Mickey were planning crushed him when he saw the utter helplessness on Madison's face.

"Let's stop thinking about it for now, there isn't a lot we can do right this second. Why don't you go have a bath? I'll make some food-" Madison shook her head.

"I'm not hungry."

"Nor am I, but fatigue isn't going to help. Go on, I'll find you something to wear." She didn't have it in her to argue so she did as he said, letting him pull her to her feet before dragging them down the hallway, the familiar metallic chink echoing against the bathroom walls as she turned the lock.

Water splashed up as it hit the bottom of the tub. Madison peeled her clothes off and dropped them to the floor, getting into the shallow water before she'd ran the bath properly. It scolded her legs and there was a twisted solace in the fact that she could still feel something. She hadn't spent a night without Mia since the day she was born and it felt like more than a part of her was missing. And the guilt of not being with her when she'd been taken was eating her alive, chewing through all the stringy tendons holding her together. She could almost feel each one snap inside her. A shuddering breath escaped her lips as she forced her limbs to move, sliding down on the now half full bath tub.

"Come on Mads, you've been through plenty, you can get through this," she whispered to herself as more tears arrived. When she got her hands on Benny - and she would get her hands on him - he would rue the day he'd learned her name.

A fresh set of clothes was folded on the bed. A pair of Jase's old joggers that she'd worn plenty of times before during her first stint in the house and a black jumper. They were warm inside and enveloped her in his comforting scent. The same one he'd always had that reminded her of safety when she was seventeen and not half the woman she was now. So much had changed in just under four short years. Jase had changed. He cared even less about the businesses than he had when they were younger. He'd wanted out then and hadn't left because people needed him. Now she needed him, every part of him, the good, the bad and the ugly. Especially the ugly.

"Feel a little better?" he asked from the doorway behind her, making her jump. She span around and nodded weakly, her eyes drifting to the bowls of spaghetti bolognese he had in his hands. He smiled sympathetically. "I don't think it'll be as good as yours but I gave it a shot." Madison took the food and they sat on the edge of the bed, stirring their food more than eating it.

"We're going to kill him, aren't we?" Madison asked after a little while. He looked at her. She looked so young and fresh faced. Exactly how he remembered her in her first days. Fragile and timid.

"We're going to do much worse than that, Mads."