The Formidable

61

"Right, I'm going to get the car," Madison said, looking into the kitchen where Jase and Sam had been running over things, three different phones set out on the table. Jase looked up at the clock, it was half eight. Mia was asleep upstairs in Janine's bed. He nodded, a serious expression befalling him.

"You're sure you want to do this?" he asked. Madison took a deep breath.

"I want it over and done with." He stood up, pulling Madison into his arms, his chest heavy with worry. He'd lost plenty of people over the years but the mere prospect of losing Madison with such permanence sent him spiralling.

Madison inhaled his familiar scent. Cigarettes and cologne, burying her face in him and trying to soak it up. "Jase, if anything goes wrong, you put Mia first, okay?"

"Don't say things like that, this is going to work," he replied. He really fucking wanted to be right, if he could be right about anything on this earth, he wanted it to be that Madison returned safely. Even if it meant he didn't. "I love you so much," he whispered into her hair, squeezing her even tighter.

"I love you too." Reluctantly, she took a step back. "But I mean it Jase, if things go sideways, you take Mia and you go far away from here. No revenge, no more payback, you cut your losses and get out." He nodded, a promise he resented having to keep but he would, for Mia. Madison had already said goodbye to their daughter, trying to keep it as light as possible to avoid any tears. Now was not the time for waterworks, it was the time to finish things.

Jase knocked on Janine's door.

"Come in," she called. Mia was awake again, her eyes thick with sleep but utter defiance spread across her face. He suspected she had an inkling that something was happening, with the stiffness in the atmosphere, you'd have to be dead not to pick up on it.

"She not sleeping?" he asked.

Janine frowned. "She'll slip off for a minute, but then she wakes up again asking for Madison." Jase's chest constricted further and he tried to smile at the little girl with her arms outstretched towards him.

"You a little restless baby?" he asked, lifting her into his arms. She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder and playing with the short sleeve of his t-shirt. "I'll try see if she's better in my room."

The two of them laid on his bed, the bed he and Madison had shared. It smelled of her on the left side and Mia seemed more comfortable in there. Jase watched her watching him. She really looked like Madison in the face, his features coming out in the eyes and hair. She lifted her head, taking her dummy from her lips and planting a wet kiss on his cheek, popping her dummy back in and nestling into him.

Jase squeezed his eyes shut. Madison had to come back, for both of their sakes. He didn't know the first thing about raising a kid, let alone doing it on his own. Madison was ten times the parent he could ever be and Mia deserved so much more. "I'm so sorry," he said. Mia opened her eyes again. She raised her hand and put it on his cheek in a strangely comforting manner. Jase kissed her chubby little fingers, placing his hand over them. After a few more minutes laying with her, he got Janine to sit in the room until she fell asleep whilst he returned to the kitchen, waiting for the call.