The Formidable

57

The lamp beside Madison's bed was on. Mia had been put back in her own room. Jase watched Madison sleeping from the doorway like he'd done so many times back at the house. It still brought him peace to know nothing could get to her in her sleep. Then he remembered her nightmares and the peace was short lived. After stripping down to his boxers, he flicked the lamp off and crawled between the sheets with her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek softly.

"Where did you go?" she whispered. It was rare she could fall asleep without him these days.

"To sort some stuff out," he replied, kissing her neck and shoulder blades. "I'm sorry, too." She rolled over, looking into his eyes, barely illuminated by the streetlights outside.

"Don't be. We shouldn't rely on you to handle everything alone, it's unfair-" Jase shook his head, lifting his hand and brushing her hair away from her face.

"I wouldn't want anyone else to handle it. I've never known any different and I have no right kicking off about it. I've said it before, I made my bed a long time ago. This is what I do." He kissed her forehead. "Don't stress about it, okay?" She nodded and he kissed her lips. Madison rested her hand on his cheek, deepening the kiss and moving her body closer until she was pressed up against his chest.

It like the first time they'd slept with one another, full of love and tender kisses with every slow stroke. Her nails grazed up his back, soft moans escaping her lips and into his.

Regardless of the chaos around them, in moments like this it was as though nothing else existed other than the two of them in the safety of each other's embrace. Madison wished it could last forever and it seemed like it did, only finishing as it started to get light outside. Mia would soon be awake and they needed a handful of hours between them at least to face the day with a toddler. But it was the most peaceful four hours rest Madison had experienced in a while before the baby monitor lit up with movement. She stirred, feeling Jase slide out of bed behind her, a cold breeze washing over the parts of her body he'd been keeping warm. He pulled the sheets up.

"Go back to sleep, I'll get her," he said, kissing her cheek before leaving. Madison snuggled back into the warmth, getting her rest in while she could.

Jase smiled brightly at Mia who grinned back, rubbing her eye before standing up and reaching out for him.

"Good morning baby," he greeted. "Did you sleep okay?" Mia nodded with a sigh, turning into Jase's neck and wrapping her chunky arms around him. She was warm and fuzzy in the mornings. Waking up with her was one of his favourite parts of the day, and being a parent as a whole. She was all cuddly in her princess pyjamas, still a little groggy and more often than not, clingy. It was the time of day where she didn't want to leave Jase's side for an hour or two. They sat on the sofa and Jase put her programme's on, yawning from lack of sleep and twirling Mia's curls with his finger whilst she laid in his lap.

It wasn't until a few hours later when Madison joined them. Mia was now on the floor, playing with a plastic book that played music.

"You can go get some more sleep if you want?" Madison said to Jase as she sat beside him. He lifted his arm, putting it over her shoulders and pulling her in as he shook his head.

"I'm alright, thanks. I'm pretty awake now. Did you want anything to eat?" Madison shook her head. This was nice, she thought. She looked forward to more days like this once they were away from everything.

It was odd because they hadn't had the conversation concerning what they were, it just seemed that they'd slotted into one another's puzzles again, despite all everything that had tried to keep them apart. It wasn't as though they'd been together the first time round but it was as close as either of them had ever come to any kind of real relationship. She looked up at him, admiring him the same way she always did.

"What?" he asked.

"What are we?" she asked, curious to know what he thought of the matter.

Jase chuckled. "Parents, criminals, we're quite a few things."

Madison rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean." She sat back so they could look at each other, Jase tilted his head, a small smile on his lips.

"What do you want to be?" he asked, throwing the ball back in her court. He didn't want to force her into any decisions by being suggestive. He knew that it was only fair on her if he made it easier to cut and run if she needed.

"Normal," she decided after a brief pause. Jase put his arm back over her, moving so his legs were on the sofa, Madison between them, her back resting against his chest. His hands found hers, brushing her fingers with his thumbs as he held them. He pressed his cheek on top of her head, watching Mia.

"Then we can be normal. Whatever normal means to you, we can be that."

Madison sighed at his vagueness. She needed him to spell it out, to reassure her that they were on the same page.

"What does normal mean to you?" she asked.

Jase pursed his lips and thought for a moment. Normal to him was being surrounded by thugs and fiends, watching over his shoulder constantly, having to be on his toes and keep his wits about him around the clock. It was sleeping with guns and dealing drugs but that wasn't the normal he wanted anymore.

"A new normal. Moving away from London, getting a house somewhere different and quiet, like in a village," he turned to kiss her hair, "away from all of this and everyone. Get a normal job, give Mia a normal childhood and pretend none of this ever happened." It sounded like a dream, Madison closed her eyes and let herself sink into it. Jase continued. "Get a dog, maybe have another kid or two. We'll go to parents evenings and sports days, we'll go on family holiday's to Devon or Cornwall and abroad once a year. When the kids grow up we can go on cruises and I'll take up gardening to pass the time and save me from going insane after I retire and I already know a fair bit abouts growing plants. You can join a book club and drink mimosas with you girl friends. We can live a completely boring, ordinary and normal life," he whispered. Madison rolled onto her side, closing her eyes and enjoying his fingers in her hair. "How does that sound?"

"Will we get married?" she asked. Jase smiled, his eyes growing heavier with the calmness in their voices. The imagery was lulling him to sleep.

"Whatever you want, we'll do."

"So I'll be Mrs Madison Davies?" she hummed. Jase breathed a small laugh.

"Anything." Then his brows furrowed and he looked at Mia. "Is she a Kimber?" he asked. Madison shook her head.

"No. Her name is Mia Janine Davies," she replied. Jase hadn't expected that. He looked down at Madison.

"You gave her my last name? Why?"

Madison shrugged. "I wanted part of you with her," she replied.

"And her middle name is Janine?"

"She was my friend in that house, she helped me from completely losing it. I wanted to remember her, too. And I never wanted her to be a Kimber and live a life like mine." Jase laughed.

"Davies is hardly any better in some parts of London," he mumbled. Madison rolled her shoulders.

"It's the only other option I had."