The Formidable

48

Sweat from Jase's hands greased his steering wheel. He couldn't hide how nervous he was. About the handover, about Mia, about Mickey, and most of all, how Madison was going to react. Mickey looked at him and smiled solemnly.

"Relax, it'll be fine," he assured, surprising himself with how at peace he was with the situation.

"She's going to kill me when she finds out I agreed to this," Jase mumbled, taking a drag on his third cigarette as if his life depended on it. The nicotine wasn't even touching the sides when it came to calming his nerves. Before Madison, he'd never thought twice about wasting a life, it was all business to him. But now, this was his daughter's grandfather, essentially his father-in-law, and nothing about the whole fucking thing sat well with him. He wasn't even sure how to interpret Mickey's calmness given he was going to be dead before tea time.

"Jase, I'm a grown man, I make my own decisions and once my mind has been made up, there's no going back. Lord knows I've caused enough pain during my lifetime, it's about time I gave back. The girls, and you, deserve a life away from this mess," Mickey replied. Jase didn't say anything. It was half three now, he wanted to make sure they were there with plenty of time to compose themselves.

"Whether you made the decision or not, I'm going to get the blame," Jase said as they pulled into the parking lot. His eyes flickered to the rearview mirror where Mia's empty car seat was strapped in the back. His heart strained as though a fist had tightened around it. Sickness swelled in the pit of his stomach and he wasn't sure he would be able to go through with it. To see Madison in a worse state than she already was. To be the cause of that? Knowing it might push her over the edge and force her out of his life for good? Thoughts of what he'd been like the first time she'd left swarmed his mind and for a moment he thought he really was going to be sick.

"And she'll get over it just like she gets over everything else, because that's what Madison does, she deals with things." He was right about that, Jase thought. Anything that was thrown in Madison's direction was manipulated so that one way or another, it worked in her favour. She'd had a field day doing it in the house and he didn't doubt that even though Benny would be getting Mickey, he would soon regret it. Should she not decide to leave him and everything else, that is.

Mickey had been a short lived guru, giving Jase insight into the deeper depths of their world and for the time he'd known him, Jase had appreciated his words. He found himself wishing that Mickey had been around for longer. He parked and turned the engine off. They felt the weight of what they were doing for a moment, drinking in the silence before the chaos. Jase looked at Mickey.

"Any wise advice before you depart?" he asked genuinely, hoping that anything Mickey said would at least clear some fog out of his head concerning the mess his life had turned into. Mickey thought for a moment.

"Get out of London. So long as you're both here, you'll never get a peaceful life. And don't take any days you have with each other for granted, life is too short. And when it comes to the business, don't let it get too late before you realise that no amount of money is worth the stress and paranoia of what we do." With that, he got out of the car and buttoned his suit jacket. "Let's go give this fucker what he wants then."

They walked side by side in silence, a buzz between them, an understanding that it was shit but they were doing what had to be done. A ten minute journey to the entrance of Oxford Street London Underground. Jase kept his hands in his pockets, unsure what else to do with them. Both men kept their eyes peeled in the hopes of spotting Benny and Mia before Benny spotted them, just in case he really was dumb enough to pull a violent stunt in the open busy street. Jase wondered what state Mia was in, hoping and praying she hadn't be hurt. If there was a single bruise on her body he would rain thunder on Benny in the most violent ways one could imagine.