The Formidable

20

"I met Rebecca today," Madison said. They were both laid on the bed, Mia still on Jase's chest. He curled his lip in distaste at the mention of the notorious house girl.

"How was that?" he asked, though he could probably take a good guess. Rebecca wasn't exactly renowned for subtlety of her desires.

"She's certainly a fan of yours. She practically asked for my blessing."

Jase watched Madison from the corner of his eyes. "And what did you say?"

She shrugged, staring up at the ceiling. "I told her to go for it."

Jase's heart sank a fraction. His focus turning to the spirals that made up Mia's hair.

"She's not my type," he mumbled, trying to seem unfazed by Madison's blasé attitude of another girl making a move on him.

"I know, that's why I told her to go for it." How quickly he turned his head to look back at her was unintentional and embarrassingly obvious. Madison's smile faded as the twist of fear, anxiety and a dose of affection knotted tightly in the pit of her stomach. "We're going to have to talk about everything someday but I'm not sure how, or..." The words fell limp from her lips as she struggled to articulate the mess in her head. Jase didn't need her to specify what they would have to discuss.

"I couldn't bring myself to be with anyone after you left." His words hovered in the silence. "In fact," he continued, ignoring the nausea brought on by his vulnerability, "I went downhill at an alarming rate. Sam and Janine were constantly having to pull me out of ruts. But I took each day a step at a time and eventually, it got a little easier to accept that you were gone. And that's how I've dealt with everything since, and that's how we'll deal with this."

"So I don't have to worry about Rebecca being competition?" Madison half-joked, trying to lighten the mood and steer them away from the serious undertones. Jase played along, happy to avoid delving deeper.

"No, you don't have to worry about Rebecca, as long as I don't have to worry about anyone." He tried not to visibly wince at how pathetic it felt to say those words.

"I'd sooner shoot a man than sleep with him," Madison quipped back. Jase laughed.

"I'm not exempt from that," he said.

"And don't you forget it," she replied, once again only half-joking. He knew she'd put a bullet in his head if he ever wronged her, but at least with him she'd flinch. It was part of the attraction. The appeal they held for one another was ingrained in the unavailability of themselves for other people. They had their own understanding, a connection no one else would ever understand because they'd never be in the same position.

When Jase woke up, the girls were gone and it was light outside. He left the bedroom, hearing Mia's giggles downstairs and smiling. The smile remained as he showered, content in pretending he lived a regular life as hot water ran down his body.

Sam, Janine, Mia and Madison were in the living room. Jase joined them, sitting on the sofa that replaced his old armchair.

"Dog," Mia said as she pointed at a DVD case that she was handing over to Madison.

"That's right, what sound does a doggy make?" Madison asked,

"Woof woof," Mia replied, adding a theatrical pant.

Madison grinned enthusiastically. "Clever girl."

Jase watched with a hint of adoration as his daughter took the DVD case back from her mum and turned to survey the room. "Go show daddy," Madison said, pointing at him. Both their expressions faltered, Madison's eyes widening as she mouthed 'sorry'. Jase shook his head.