I Need Help (A Kokichi Oma Angst Fanfic) (Discontinued)

Chapter 19

"Oma-kun has been silent.. Is Oma-kun ok?" The big giant asked.

"Yes-" I stop myself and repeat again. "No. I am not ok.." As I said those words, voices slowly filled my head.

"Do you really think that idiot is going to help you?"

"HAH! He's not going to help someone like you!"

"What is wrong with Oma-kun?" Gonta questions.

"... I....." I take a deep breath. "I need help." I say to the giant.

"Help..? Like help with homework? Gonta isn't very smart but can try and help Oma-kun!" Gonta exclaims.

"No... Not that type of help.. But.-" I bite my lip, how should I say it...? "-but the help about.. The Mentality of someone.." I look at Gonta who had a bit of confusion on his face.

"That means of how someone thinks and such- basically the brain of someone."

"Oma-kun needs help with brain? What is wrong with Oma-kun's brain? Is it injured?! Then Oma-kun should ask Tsumuki-San! Tsumuki-san is a nurse! "

Maybe I should have asked someone else because now I have to explain... But.. Who would I have even asked? So maybe Gonta is the best decision..

"Well... Tsumuki is a nurse, but she wouldn't be able to help. Someone who can help me is a psychologist, but I rather talk about it with someone I know than some random stranger."

"Oh, then why Oma-kun need help?"

"I... Have lots of things.... I've bottled up inside.. And lots of problems.. Plus, I've never told anyone.. " I shift a bit and looked back at Gonta. "C-could.. You help me?" I forced the words out of my mouth. I did it. Gonta looks down at me, and then a smile forms on his face.

"Oma-kun can talk to Gonta about help and Gonta will do his best! Gonta will help Oma-kun!"

".. Promise?" I put out my pinky finger, it was a weird response and kinda childish, but I want help.. So I need to make sure.

"Gonta promises!" Gonta then wraps his pinky finger around mine. A truthful smile forms on my face.

"Alrighty then!" I exclaim with my cheerful voice as I get up from sitting "Should we talk tommorow then since it's getting late bud?" I ask the bug lover.

"Gonta thinks that sounds like plan!" And so, me and Gonta walk back to Hope's Peak, talking about the plan for tommorow. We also talked about the place to meet at because no way in hell am I doing it near the school grounds!

(Time skip sponsored by Kokichi's heterochroima)

Me and Gonta said goodnight as I head into my dorm. Once I open the door, I had my plan of balling my eyes out. Since I had finally told someone about help. The thought of me telling someone made me cry in ball for some reason.

I can finally take my mask off-

"Hey kid, you ok?" A wave of panic floods me at I look at the person who spoke. Ryoma sat on the chair at the table with a book, Ryoma stared at me with a look of question.

"Hm? Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?"

"You were crying."

...

..
..
I touch my cheeks with my cold hand, which made me shiver. Which was sticky and damped. A tear falls onto my finger as I soon realise that was and didn't notice.

Shit.

"Ugh! Fine, I'm not okay since today my Grape Panta got ran oVEry-" I quickly shut my mouth from my sudden voice crack. Mentally praying that Ryoma didn't notice, which he did notice.

"So what actually happened today?" Ryoma said looking at me. I honestly didn't really know how to respond to that, what do I say? "Oh! Today I was being a crybaby about my feelings and now I'm sad!". Yeah, no.

".... Don't tell anyone, alright?" My voice was quiet and soft, my face was still sticky from the tears. Ryoma nods and I take a deep breath.

"... I need h-help." I curse at myself for studdering. Even though it wasn't really a answer, it still is the truth and on what happened today.

I wasn't expecting to tell two people, let's just hope that's all the people I'm talking about me needing help. That's all I fucking want is the whole damm school to know.

"Got trauma you've been holding in your life?" "Yes- wait I didn't even tell you!" "Eh. That's the most logically answer and besides, I've always guessed you had were hiding something in you or was dealing with something. Not everyone is happy, especially with the way you act."

I was stunned with Ryoma's answer, I stand there in silence. So someone already guessed on?! Fuck I was obvious! If he knows then other people must know. Damm it Oma! You are a little bit-

"So I've kinda had a feeling that you were hiding something. So I won't put you on the spot."

Huh? Wait what- "what do you mean by that...?" "I mean I won't ask any questions or force you. That would make it worse. When your ready you'll talk or tell someone." Ryoma gets off the chair and heads to the bookshelf.

I felt a huge weight of anxiety fall off myself, I was instantly relief.

"Thank yo-" "But..." Ryoma turns to me as he puts the book away. "...That doesn't mean that you can keep hiding yourself and stay like that. It's very unhealthy for you body and brain. So keep that in mind. I'm here, your roomates, and everybody is also here if you want to talk. Understand?" I nod. Ryoma then heads to the bedroom, and silence fills the air.

"..That went better than expected..." I mumble to myself. I look around the now dark room, the only light coming from the shining moon. A yawn falls out of my mouth. Not wanting to walk to the bedroom, I grab some covers from the small closet and lay down on the couch.

....Thank you Ryoma.

My last thoughts were what Ryoma had said. What he said was true...

..
.
....
..
.

Not everybody is here for me, Ryoma. Even though I told Gonta, that doesn't change the fact that I will be alone. I will be alone, I am alone, and will always be. That won't change.... I'll loose Gonta eventually... He will realise that and then he will leave...