I Need Help (A Kokichi Oma Angst Fanfic) (Discontinued)

Chapter 18

Decisions

WARNING INCLUDES
MENTIONS OF SELF HARM

1 week later....

A whole week passed from when Saiha- Shuichi said the truth about me. I don't know how to describe what I felt, but I do know what he said was true. Every word he said is the truth.

There is one thing though that I hate what he did. Was that of telling someone what happened and now the whole school knows. Of course, I know Shuichi didn't do it since he dislikes gossip, but I do know Keade was somewhat the start of it.
How I know is that one, she is very close to Shuichi and also she is a type to tell other people. People of course who she trusts, and even she doesn't like gossip so it's someone else. That person? I don't know.

Since then, the week has been hell... Some people stopped talking to me when we usually talk. People will leave the table when I sit there or make me leave. Others just walk in the opposite direction when they see me. It sucks.... But some people still talk to me since their nice or pity me.

Gonta still talks to me, and acts the way he always does. Which is really all I need, just at least one person that acts friendly around me and talks to me. And doesn't treat me like I have the god damm Cheese Touch.

This past week has been hell though, it reminded me of my days in Elementary and Middle school, and some days in the Orphanage. No one talked to me and just avoided me.

I stare at the top of the bathroom, my vision was dull and gray. My wrist was pained from... My punishment I did to myself.. These past days and of course years have been doing a toll on myself, mentality has been getting worse, and I've starting to loose it.

A notification comes from my phone, picking it up I look to see who ot is.

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BugBoi: Gonta says hello!

Hi
Whatcha need?

BugBoi: Gonta wants to know if you want to go bug hunting!

Can't you ask someone else?

BugBoi: Gonta has and everyone said no... So Gonta wants Oma-kun to cone!

Wow, everyone said no? Ugh... As much as I hate bugs, Gonta needs someone and besides, I have nothing to do today...

Wow... People are so rude! Not going Bug hunting with Gonta?
Well, your in luck buddy! I'll go!

BugBoi: Gonta says thank you! Meet Gonta at gate!

Alright I'll be there!

I turn my phone off and quickly clean my mess, I flush the blood-stain paper towels down the toilet. Thankfully, no one was here to ask question on why I was in there for so long and the bandages.

I head out of the bathroom to get ready. I grab a light gray short-sleeved and a black overshirt, I also grab some white pants and a pair of black boots. Of course, I grab my checkered scarf and head out of the room.

(Time skip sponsored by Skephalo- wait wrong fandom-)

Gonta stands near the gate in his normal wear, he then spots me and greets me. And so, we began to walk to the forest.  As we walk, I mentally prepare myself because I. Hate. Bugs.  They are disgusting, creepy, strange, weird, and just, what the fuck.  Why did Atua make them?  What drugs was he on?

Gonta the stops me.  "Gonta senses bug nearby..."  Excuse me he can SENSE BUGS!  How the fuck-

Gonta the instantly swings his net into the air near a bush and catches a white bug.  Gonta then puts the net to his hand in which the bug crawls in, he turns to me.

"Gonta wants Oma-kun to hold white Swallowtail Butterfly!" Gonta puts his hand out to me.  Even though I wanted to say 'no', you don't say that to Gonta, oh fucking hell he loses it.  Even I can't think of a lie to get out of this...

I sign and prepare my death, and hold my hand out.  The butterfly crawls on my hand as I had a urge to just smash it between my hands.  My hand shakes slightly as the butterfly moves around.  Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay clam. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm.

Thankfully, the butterfly decides that it hates me and flys aways.  A sigh of relief falls out of my mouth.  Unfortunately for me, Gonta had more bugs...

This is going to be a hell of a day...

The entire day was absolute hell for me.  I had to hold disgusting insects and such and not scream.  Inside I was screaming and wanting to crush those insects.  Was I having fun? No. No I was not. 

Even though I hated it, it still... Felt nice that someone saw me as a friend.. And still cared for me...
Right now, me and Gonta sat against a tree while Gonta played with the bugs.  I look up at him.

Gonta is... Trustworthy.... Maybe.. I.. Can Tell Him.... I did promise Ryo.. After.. She... Died...  Do I though?  Or would it still be the same?  What if- no! Stop thinking like that!  Do I want to stay in the condition I'm in?! The condition I've been in for so long..!

"Is Oma-kun ok?" Gonta says with concern. 

"Yeah.. I'm-" I stop myself and think.

Should I really tell him..? Maybe... All of this will stop, but what would he know?  He never went through any of this... Still.. That doesn't matter since... He is my..

Friend.... My best friend..