To Be Different

• 13 •

I'm back! Sorry for the late update tho

I really didn't want to have this conversation with my mother, but I think it's high time I talk about it to someone especially her. Mum watched me expectantly, waiting for me to continue my words. She was giving me time and I know it.

I held the sheets of her bed tighter and drew in a deep breath before I continued; "As I said earlier, I've been having nightmares and it's only about the same thing over and over again. Anytime I close my eyes the next thing I see are blurry events from God even knows when. It's annoying because I can't remember anything and I—"

I was interrupted by her as she looked straight at me , "And how why do you think you can't remember anything? How are you sure it's from your partial memory loss? ". I thought about this for a moment, the nightmares did seem familiar to me but I couldn't just put my fingers on it.

"I don't know but I can just feel it, I have a feeling that it has happened to me before. I—I d-dont even know how to explain it. It's all so confusing" I stated as I rubbed my temples to ease the stress I'm feeling.

Mum put a hand over my shoulder and gently massaged it, " It would all be okay Damilola, you just need to see your therapist more"

What!

"No mummy you don't understand, I do not want to see a therapist. I just want to understand what's going on with me, I can't seem to remember what happened that caused the accident I had!" I clenched the sheets tighter inside my palms. I'm getting riled of up and I don't like it.

"See, that's exactly what I'm saying, Mr Gwen would help you with all these problems and you might even start regaining your memory. I want the best and only the best for you Dami but you don't seem to understand. Tomorrow evening after school we go to see Mr Gwen and I'm not asking for your opinion about it." she stated with a tone of finality in her voice.

I knew I couldn't argue with her, it was hopeless and that's why I mumbled an "Okay ma" and stepped out of her room quietly.

It was noon when I got back upstairs from taking an apple to munch on. I took a bite out of the apple and checked me phone for any texts or calls. Zero.

I frowned in frustration and wonder what I'm going to do now, then I remembered what mum said about meeting Mr Gwen. I've had few therapy sessions with him when we first moved to New York. I seemed to be getting better though, even though I couldn't remember what happened to me, I still feel like a puzzle from my life is missing.

When he tried coercing me to remember just anything, it was getting annoying and I gave up. I'm not the strongest person at heart if you've noticed. So he stopped, he stopped giving me therapy at least until today.

He said I was probably going to start remembering things myself or not at all and he also said I shouldn't force my self to remember anything or it could cause  more harm to my mental health.

A knock from my door got me startled as I yelled, "Come in" . It opens to reveal Alex in his grey t-shirt and washed jeans. Well, I've not really gotten over yesterday's event and I hope he doesn't make me feel worse than I already am.

He was smiling nervously, so I asked, "Oh you are back, What do you want?" then turned to dunk the core of the apple into the nearby trash can, which by the way I missed. Alex walked towards my  red bean bag and I sat on it, looking at me intently.

After some moments of silence I spoke up, "Are you just going to sit there and not talk, anyway when you are ready you can leave my room". I knew I was being mean but I couldn't help it. Blame my teenage hormones. I turned away from him and rested my head on the pillow, pretending to sleep. Before I could even close my eyes, he spoke;