Four's sister

Choosing Ceremony

Disclaimer: I know it's illegal to say that I own divergent, but is it illegal to say I am Veronica Roth and therefore own divergent?
Just kidding, I own nothing but my characters and my plot.

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As I sit huddled in the locked closet with Toby, I start thinking. I start think the selfish thoughts I know I shouldn't think, but I can't help it. I think about my name, meaning moon which, I guess suits me. Well, I guess it suit me as well as it suit anyone else. I am a 13 year old girl that is too skinny with barely any curves. My brown hair might have been nice in another life, but is to kinked from the tight buns we are forced to wear to know for sure. Other than that I don't really know, because in abnegation we are not supposed to look in mirrors because we reject vanity. Tobias says I have blue eye though. I imagine then dull, full of fear and void of life. The one thing I am certain about when I think about my appearance is my scars. Marcus has gotten worse. I refuse to call him my father because he does not deserve that title. He whips us with his belt, and he punches and kicks. He even used a knife and cut a long deep gash along my abdomen; not deep enough to hit any organs, but about 7 inches long starting below my left rib cage and ending above my right pelvic bone, cutting write through my belly button. I new Tobias would go mad if he saw this one, and that would only make it worse on himself, so I locked myself in my room and stitched it up. That was a little over two years ago. He locks me or Tobias in the closet when he's beating the other one, but I always help Toby mend his wounds so I always know what injuries he has. I'm not very strong, physically or mentally, and Toby knows this better than anyone. But I know that he needs to leave. He needs to escape this hellhole and live his life. But he's too abnegation and selfless to leave me. His test is tomorrow, and the choosing is the next day. Me and Toby have always been close. We've needed a lot of support from each other to make it to the end of the day, and remember than their are parts of life worth living. We tell each other everything (well, except the knife wound I guess) but it's time for him to be free. If he doesn't leave at his choosing ceremony, then he will be stuck here in hell for the rest of his life. He always seems like the perfect abnegation, but I know he'd fit in wherever he chose to go. He's just like that. I'm not sure if their's a word for that, but if there is that is what he is. I need to be strong. Maybe it will be the only time in my life that I need this strength, but I need to be strong enough to convince him to leave, and have enough strength to survive until my choosing. I groan beside me reminds me where I am, and the quickening breaths notifies me that Toby is awake
"Shhh" I say quickly and quietly trying to sooth him. "It's ok. You're safe. Just close your eyes and fall back to sleep" I rubbed his back as I whispered, trying to lull him back to sleep. It eventually work, as I heard his breaths even out and his heartbeat calm down. It was going to be rough the next couple of years, but I knew he needed to leave, no matter what it took.

The next day Marcus beats us for the lacking quality of his breakfast, even though we could not have made it any better if we were professional chefs because we only have plain food in our house, just like every other abnegation house. We then head out and get onto the bus.
"It's gonna be okay" I telling as we wait to get to the school. A middle aged Erudite man rudely shoves into me as he passes to try to find a seat. I just cower and shrink away into the wall, letting my fear get the best of me. Tobias notices this. He always does. He always notices my fear and lack of sense of self. Always notices my sensitivity to violence of any form and my weak body and frame. He'd stand up for me, but it would be selfish to talk rudely to anyone, especially a member.
I talk to him as we get off the bus and head toward the school, trying to drop hints that I will be fine and he should be selfish and leave and look after himself, without outright saying it. I don't think he understands what I'm trying to do but I think it solidified one of his thoughts a little bit. We split up to go to our separate classes seeing as he is three years older than me.
We meet back up at lunch and I can tell he is nervous about his aptitude test, so I try to sooth him with sweet nothings.
"From abnegation, Tobias Eaton"
His name is finally called. He shoots me a reassuring smile before getting up and heading into the testing room. Lunch is almost over, so I know I won't see him until we get home, and won't have time to talk until much later that night.
The rest of the day goes by agonizingly slow, but it final comes to an end. I gather my thing and make my way out to the bus to make my way home.
I've never liked riding the bus alone. It's filled with strangers that are big and tall and threatening. I start to worry and fear seeps through my body like cold water as the bus prepares to pull out and Tobias isn't on yet. That fear instantly subsides when I see Toby jump onto the bus at the last second.
His eyes scan over the crowd, until they find me, and he slowly makes his way over before standing beside me silently. I reach out and grab his hand, rubbing soothing circles on the back of it, to let him know that everything is alright.
As we got off the bus and headed towards our house, we were silently walking with our thoughts, but we both knew what the other was thinking. Our impending beating, that was sure to be worse than normal. When we opened the door to our house, Marcus was standing their glaring with his hands placed menacingly on his belt.
"You're late!" He growled out, just as the door swung shut. We didn't respond, that would only make him angrier. Instead, we kept our eyes on the floor and seemed to shrink in on ourselves.
"What? No excuse?"
I made the mistake of looking up. Marcus grabbed me by the back of my neck before dragging me roughly up the stairs and throwing me harshly into the closet, where I hit my head on the wall and passed out.

I woke to the door being opened and myself being thrown out. I scampered quickly after Marcus to the basement, where the beatings took place and could only imagine that Tobias was in his room, trying to clean himself up.

I watched him take off his belt, and noticed that their was another one on the table. He cinched my hands together with the one belt, before attaching them to the chains hanging from the roof. He walked up close to me, and lifted my shirt up onto my head, leaving me standing in front of him in just a bra and pants.  He grunted in disgust, before he started circling me.
"Useless" he called out lashing my back. I whimpered, never being very good with pain.
"Ugly" He called out with another hit to my side before continuing to circle me. I whimpered louder this time, trying not to scream.
"Disappointment"
This one hit me across the chest and stomach, and I couldn't help it, I screamed, knowing no one would hear me due to our found proof walls.
He continued to yelled profanities at me while whipping everywhere he could on my upper body.

Ten minutes later, Marcus undid my hands and I fell to the floor.
"Scram" He yelled in my ear. I quickly got up and ran to Tobias's room.
I got their and saw him applying cream to the last of his wounds. A few years ago he stole some cream that would heal our wounds faster and make them less likely to scar.
"Oh Lulu" he whisper as tears rolled down my face. He beckoned me to him and I didn't hesitate. Whoever got beaten first had to apply cream to their own wounds, and then would help the other. We each got beaten first about 50% of the time, so it was fair.
"You have to get out" I whispered to him when he was done dressing my wounds and my shirt was back on. He shook his head slowly.
"I can't leave you, I won't."  I smiled a testy smile at him. Time to draw on the strength I knew was inside me somewhere.
"You have to." The whispered back to him. "I won't let you stay here and torture yourself because you want to prospect me" I saw him going to interrupt me so I cut him off.
"I know what you're going to say, but every time he hits you, it hurts me more than the belt every could. I see you getting hurt, and it makes me hurt knowing that you're getting hurt and their is nothing I can do about it. You have to get out, get safe, and I'll escape when it's my turn, but you have to to leave." I whispered to him, who was know on the verge of tears. I felt hot liquid roll down my face and I knew I was crying.
"You make it really hard to argue" Toby whispered through his tears.
"I'm the older sibling." He stated "I'm supposed to protect you, not the other way around."
I laughed at his statement.
"And you are! You being beaten makes me feeling more pain than Marcus could ever put me through. This way, I'll feel less pain"
"But-" he started but I cut him off
"No Toby" I said firmly "You have to get out of here okay? You have to."
He took in my appearance, the determination in my eyes, and realized I wasn't giving up. "Fine" he said, defeated "But you have to get out as soon as you can. Get somewhere where you will be safe and happy. I need to know that you'll get somewhere safe. I can't have you getting hurt anymore."
"Okay" I said "I promise"
And with that we fell into each other's arms. After a while, I asked him what he got on his test. He took a deep breath and leaned away from me, looking me in the eyes.
"What I'm about to tell you, you can't tell anyone, ever" He told me, his voice barely above a whisper, but more serious than I've ever heard it. I gave him my word. He took a deep, steadying breath, before continuing.
"I'm divergent, it means I fit into more than one faction." I smiled triumphantly. I knew it!
But the look in his eyes told me it wasn't a good thing.
"Being divergent is dangerous. We could mess up the system, so if people find out, they try to kill us. I knew I was divergent before I took the he test, so I tried to do it thinking like an abnegation, so that's what my test says I got."
This time it was me who took the deep breathe. When I finally looked in his eyes , I swore that I would never tell anyone, ever. With that we hugged each other and fell asleep.

We awoke early the next mourning, got ready and made our way to the ceremony so we could help set up, but before we did, we gave each other one last hug.
When we got their, we helped set everything up, before taking our seats. Johanna was leading the ceremony this year. She was the unofficial leader of amity, but she was more just the speaker and had no more power than anyone else in her faction.
The ceremony seemed to drag on forever, until I heard
"Tobias Eaton" He stood up and gave me one more longing glance before heading down to the stage. I shoot him a warning looking, but his back was already turned. He took the knife that was offered to him, and slit his hand. I saw him quickly glance at each of the bowls that represented the factions, before letting his blood drip onto the sizzling coals
"Dauntless"
The black clad faction started yelling and cheering, while the rest of the room was silent. Before I knew it, the ceremony was over and I was helping clean up. My mind wasn't on the task though, it was on this evening. After Tobias left, Marcus was sure to be angry, and tonight was sure to be one of, if the the, worst beating I ever got. I was terrified.