'Till There Was You

Chapter Seven: Freedom Can Only Be So Sweet

I woke up in a different room, probably one for a 24/7 watch. I at least knew the doctors rotated weekly, therefore I wasn't entirely shocked seeing a strange woman eyeing my chart.

"Good morning Josephine." She spoke, her voice soft and motherly. It made me sad immediately, but soon after the initial shock I found comfort.

"Your boyfriend was quite worried. We practically had to force him out, poor thing." She said with a small laugh. Her demeanor was full of warmth, reminding me of Karen and how she was the mother I always needed.

"H-he isn't my boyfriend. He's j-just a friend." I stutter the words out through my dried throat.

I watch her let out a sigh before smiling at me. She reaches for a cup of water on my bedside table, handing it to me. I took a few small sips, ridding myself of a dry mouth and burning throat.

"I'm no expert... but I have been married for fifteen years and I was once a teenager too. That boy has a lot of love for you, I can tell. I usually only have to force spouses and disgruntled parents out, not friends."

I find myself listening intently to her motherly advice, only slightly saddened by it.

"I'll let you in on a womanly secret... teenage boys are idiots. In general men are stubborn, and can be hard to read, and some of the idiocy they don't ever grow out of. BUT teenage boys are horribly oblivious to their own feelings."

She's right, but what she doesn't know is that I was doing it too. Actually I was actively trying to get rid of my feelings. I told myself he had Kels, and I'm not competing against her.

He said it himself that he loves her, but the dullness in his eyes made it seem like a lie. I used to think he and I were like water and electricity, destined to end each other by accident. What I failed to realize, and forced myself to ignore was that whatever he is ignites everything I am. It always has since that first day.

He isn't my natural born enemy, destined to duel ruin in a fury of sparks.

No, he's my twin flame. We keep each other's spark alive. This stupid red haired boy is the other half of my soul and I've been too stupid to let him be. He doesn't want me, but I need him. He keeps my full flame lit every day, making sure it never truly fizzles out.

There's nothing more that I want, other than for him to realize, is to light up the night sky like fireworks. I want the world to see our flames burning, flurries of color against a dark ink sky. I want my love, because fuck do i love him and need him. He's laced in my veins, the only drug I ever want to be addicted to, the fix that keeps me up at night. I want his arms around me, and stupid forehead kisses, and I want to hear his musical laugh forever.

"Oh god.. I love him.." my eyes are blown wide and full of shocked ecstasy. The feeling alone of realizing my love sends me into a tidal wave of memories. I see his face painted across my iris', his smile, his hair, his everything.

And I sit here in dulled bliss wondering how the hell this happened. He's my best friend, and he's in love with someone else.

"He doesn't love me...h-he has someone already."

I watch her beaming smile fade as my fantasy world collapses around me.

"Oblivious. Remember that.." she says in an attempt to reel my mind back.

My blissful memories suddenly feel like they're suffocating me.

"It's your lucky day you know. We had to move you to the ER for now to observe you. That means regular visiting hours..." she says happily, a smirk making its way across her face.