'Till There Was You

Chapter Nine: Candy Hearts

Feb. 14

It's been two months since we've spoken and it hasn't gotten easier. I hope you know I did it for you, because you deserve to be happy. You didn't need me dragging you down with me. I miss you, I hope you know that too. I'll never, ever be able to forget what you did for me in the time I had you as my best friend. I truly love you to the moon and back. You hold the biggest part of my heart and I think you always will. I'm sorry I ignored your calls, and texts. I'm sorry that I made Kat let me finish the semester online so I didn't have to see your eyes. I just know I'd become a puddle the second I looked into them. It's far too easy to give in to you, I'd fall straight into your arms. I don't really leave the house, or my bed anymore. I think I forgot how to be human because I'm so sad. I feel lost without you.

It'll be a year soon, and I have to go to trial again. I don't want to go, especially when I don't have you. My chest still aches every day over my family, and now it aches for you too. I hope you're okay, and god I hope you're happy.

Happy Valentine's Day I guess. I love you Mikey.

I'm Forever your Josy.

I closed the small leather journal and tucked it back into my drawer. Today's entry was harder than most. I can't get him off of my mind for more than a minute lately. Dr. C and my therapist Maura think it'll help to write my thoughts down, so I do. It's always about him, and it's almost like I'm talking to him. He won't ever answer obviously, and it'll never replace the real thing but it's all I have.

I rolled over on my bed and stared at the ceiling. The world has been passing in slow motion since they summoned me back to testify again. I'm tired of talking to lawyers, and judges. Apparently something important has changed in the case, but they won't say what. It keeps me up at night so much that I had to start taking medicine to sleep again.

"Joey! We have to get going or we'll be late." Kat shouts up the stairs. I roll my eyes and flop off of the bed. I slip my black boots on and straighten the black dress that she forced me to wear.

I bound quickly down the stairs and pulled on my long wool coat before following her to the car. We're meeting with the lawyer and then going straight to the courtroom. She's met with him a few times since we found out they needed me again, but she said she didn't want me there just yet. Therefore here we are scrambling to meet him before the trial starts.

There wasn't much of a trial before, but I was a suspect believe it or not. The news tried to pin it on me, and make me look like a moody, murderous teen who went on a rampage. Thankfully the jury believed the truth about what happened that day and I was free to go.

We made it on time, and rushed through the courthouse to find the office we're meant to meet in.

"Josephine, Katherine come in please." The man answered when Kat knocked on the door. He was tall with blonde hair and striking blue eyes. Oddly he didn't look old enough to be a lawyer. If it wasn't for the stubble on his face I wouldn't place him a day over twenty-three.

"My name is Jack. It's great to finally meet you Josephine although I know the circumstances are less than ideal." He smiled softly at me, and I couldn't place why it looked extremely familiar.

"This is going to be hard to hear so please bear with us and listen, love. The reason we're in trial again and need you here is because.." he clears his throat, but stops speaking when there's a sharp knock on the door.

Jack mutters something under his breath and hops out of his seat to get the door.

"Hey bro, I brought lunch for you from mum, something about it being your favorite."