'Till There Was You

Chapter Eight: Aloneliness

It was an awful two weeks. The days were long and hard, my body was exhausted from adjusting to medications. I've finally adjusted to the pills that make me sleep, meaning I'm no longer drowsy all day. I'm impatiently awaiting the arrival of my Aunt so that I can go home finally.

"Joey, honey are you ready?" I snap my head up from the view of my lap and meet eyes with Kat and my favorite nurse. They're both smiling brightly at me, and I hop up to scramble to the door. I say goodbye to the nurses who took care of me, thanking them again for caring so much for me.

"Josephine, don't tell me you were leaving without saying goodbye?" I hear a voice behind me in the hall, causing me to spin around with a huge smile. Dr. C stood with a clipboard in her hand, looking at me fondly as I walked toward her.

I accept her strong, loving embrace once I reach her. We became rather close the past few weeks, with her acting as a motherly figure during my recovery.

"Stay strong out there Jo, and call me any time." She whispers, slipping a small business card into my palm. I tell her I'll stay in touch, and I wholly intend to, then turn myself back around to catch up with Aunt Kat.

I'm flooded with relief as we enter the home, familiar smells clouding my senses.

"It's been lonely without you, Jo." She says, pulling me in for a hug.

"I know you just got in, but there's someone who I think is dying to see you." She said with a sneaky wink. I rolled my eyes and groaned at her. Mikey hasn't been able to visit much, and hadn't in over a week.

"Do you think he does? Should I go visit?" I ask nervously. Truthfully when he didn't visit for more than a week it was easy to slip into the thought of not being wanted. I opened up to Dr. C about it of course, and I brought it up to the therapist I was seeing. Conversations ensued regarding my lying brain, abandonment issues, and overall insecurity. They all reassured me that it wasn't that my best friend didn't want me anymore. But it never seemed to stop my nagging thoughts.

"Honey, of course he does. Now take the car, I'm off until tomorrow and I'm going to take a nap." She says as she tucks the keys into my palm. I gaped at her, she never lets me take the car.

"Go have fun. Don't be out too late, you know all of the rules and you're a good kid I trust you." She's pushing me by my shoulders to the door. We both know I'm nervous to see him out of the hospital again and I know she's trying to push me to take the chance.

I give in to her request, knowing how badly I want to see him. I bid her a quick goodbye and ran out the door to the car. The drive feels different when I'm the one behind the wheel, it feels faster. My hands are sweating and I'm nervous as hell for seemingly no good reason. Quickly parking on the roadside, I pull the handbrake just to be safe and skip my way up the driveway. I'm still clad in leggings and a sweatshirt that Kat brought to the hospital for me. The sweatshirt was actually Michael's and nearly reached my knees. I was suddenly feeling self conscious as I knocked softly on the front door. Surely I look like shit, I wasn't planning this, and I've been locked up using awful hospital shampoos that make my hair horrific.

"Josephine dear! Oh I've missed you, come in." Karen opens the door as I'm picking at my hands nervously. I look up at the broad smile on her face and welcome the hug she gives me.

"I missed you too! It's so good to be back home. Is Mikey here? I didn't really think that he might not even be home, but I thought I'd make a surprise visit since I haven't seen him in a bit." I ramble off to her, feeling my feet shift nervously. It's very much a nervous habit that happens unconsciously, but people take notice.

"He's upstairs in his room, you know the way. I'm sure he'll be so happy to see you." She smiles and gives my hand a quick squeeze. I smile back and head for the stairs, taking them slowly considering my nerves. I reach the familiar door and take a deep breath before turning the handle.