Finding the memories 『𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜』

Chapter Three

"Yeah I know,” you said, the team had returned from the mission and they had yet to find Bucky. Of course there was little hope left now but even still you felt your heart shatter when they told you he wasn’t there. 

“We’ll keep looking,” said Nat, the whole team looked so tired, they’d been going out of their way to keep looking, they kept searching, for you, so you could have back the man you once loved, it was heartbreaking for them to tell you everytime they returned without him but they kept going, they would search every HYDRA base till they found him, and they promised. Something told you that this time the Winter Soldier wouldn’t be as easy to find. 

“You don’t have to,” you said, “I’m sure there’s other stuff that needs doing, I’ve kind of given up hope anyway,” you forced a smile before turning to leave to check on George, who was busy playing with his new toy.

That evening, Nat wanted to take you and Wanda out for a girls night, despite the only thing you wanted to do was curl up and cry, you forced yourself into a dress and your favourite heels and applied some lipstick.

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“I just want to head home,” you said, it was a couple of drinks later and it was starting to get late, well for you anyway. Nat and Wanda could be out all night.

“Come on Y/n,” said Nat, “We never go out anymore” you tried not to get so upset because you knew what she was saying was true but it hurt even still. They didn’t understand that nothing motivated you anymore, the best thing in your life was Bucky and he was gone, most likely forever.

“Yeah but I don’t really feel like it,” you said, grabbing your purse, “Look I’m gonna go,” they stopped protesting and you walked out the door. The cold air of the winter night was refreshing from the smell of alcohol. 

You walked for a while, trying to clear your head. It would’ve been best if you called a cab straight away but you didn’t feel like going back to the compound, you weren’t really sure where it was that you wanted to go, you just needed to clear your head. Every thought lately seemed to be about Bucky, it seemed to get harder and harder to push him from your mind. Everywhere you looked you were reminded of him, his faint scent lingering in the air around you, it felt like you were going insane. 

Seeing a man walk towards you dressed all in black with his head low you started to panic. There was no-one around and you didn’t even know where you were, you’d been walking for so long. 

Bucky POV: 

I’d managed to escape them, finally, and it felt like some of my memories were finally coming back. My heart hammered against my chest as I walked round in the night, I still didn’t quite know why I’d escaped exactly. It’s not like I knew who I was or where I should go but the thought at the back of my mind that kept telling me to escape was so overpowering I just decided to run. 

I walked down an alleyway and spotted a girl, I probably looked suspicious, dressed in all black and trying to hide my face. She looked panicked as she saw me, I didn’t want to look at her or scare her, or bring any attention to myself so I kept walking. She tried backing away from me as I came closer, I didn’t want to hurt her. 

“Please,” she cried out, but it was almost a whisper, “Don’t hurt me I’ll do anything,” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said softly, “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” I kept looking at the floor, I didn’t want anyone to recognise me, I was clearly a bad person, “Is there like a hotel or something round here?” I tried to sound less suspicious.

“Um I don’t know the neighbourhood that well,” she said quietly, “Sorry,” I went to walk away from her but the huge diamond ring on her finger stopped me. It was the same ring that the girl in the shop two weeks ago was wearing. How the hell had this girl gotten it? Unless it was her, I was so scared to look up at her, what if she recognised me? 

Y/n POV: 

He was looking down at the floor, stood quite close to you. Frightened to move you stood still and waited for him to say something else. “Are you okay?” you asked quietly. 

The man adjusted his baseball cap and flicked the eyes from the floor onto yours. The piercing, beautiful blue eyes that never left your mind stared right back at you. Your eyes flicked over this man's face, the same perfected jawline, except this time clean shaven, the eyes, his beautiful eyes. It was him. It was definitely Bucky. And it scared you. “Bucky?” you whispered, his face inches from yours as he studied your face. 

“Who the hell is Bucky?” he said.

“You don’t remember me?” you managed to stammer out before tears started to fall down your face, you cringed at what you said, for the past year you’d accepted he wouldn’t remember you, and he didn’t. Maybe it wasn’t even him, maybe this whole thing was a hallucination. 

“I..” he started, but a small blush crept onto his cheeks, the streetlight illuminating his gorgeous face. The face you’d missed for the past year was staring right back at you. Of all the possible scenarios of seeing Bucky again this was one you had never thought of, “Am sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he continued, jolting you out of your thoughts. He turned and walked away from you. 

It took every part of you not to call out after him, tell him to stop. But you couldn’t, nervousness had taken over you, suddenly afraid and it felt weird to just go back to how things were, he didn’t even know you. 

Bucky POV: 

I wish she’d called out after me. I didn’t know why I hadn’t told her I knew her, since she clearly knew me. My possible theory that she hated me wasn’t true, I had watched as tears slipped down her face when I didn’t know my name, Bucky. Maybe that was my name. I wasn’t sure. 

I looked back to where she was still stood, she was shaking, I didn’t know whether it was from the cold or whether it was because she saw me. A part of me wanted to go back, give her my jacket, check she’s okay but that wasn’t a good idea. It would never be a good idea, maybe staying out her way would be the better idea for now, until I at least figured out who I was and who she was. She was beautiful though, I hope I’ll see her again. 

Authors Note ❤:  Online school is so boring and I'm falling asleep so here 💞 also i just watched we have always lived in the castle and it was so good lmao