13 Novella 1

Past

You are allowed to leave the Medbay the next day and hop off your bed eagerly. An intense sweeping dizziness takes over as the blood rushes from your head and you feel yourself fall forward into The Doctor's arms.

"Whoa, easy now" she says, propping you back upright. You nod a little breathlessly and straighten up slowly, The Doctor scrutinising you carefully.

"Maybe you ought to stay another night" she says turning to settle you back in.

"No no honestly I'm fine that happens all the time, really. I just want to get back to my room and sleep." You say quickly while she does a sweeping inspection of your face.

She nods with a resigned look and you follow her out of the medical wing and into the corridor. The Doctor enters a door on the next left and you find yourself in your room. You turn to The Doctor and ask her, worried you were going insane.

"My room, isn't it- wasn't it round the other side? Off the right corridor?" You ask perplexed.

"Mmm?" You seem you have pulled her from deep thought. "The Tardis probably moved it closer so you wouldn't have to walk as far" she brushes off, pulling your bedding from the floor and arranging it on the double bed.

You absorb this information as fast as your lethargic brain will allow. So she was definitely sentient, and apparently very considerate.

You smile at the wall closest, and place your hand gently against it, trying to convey your gratitude. You feel heat raise under you hand and gasp in surprise, smiling some more.

You felt she understood what you were trying to do, and you realise how incredible this machine really was.

"Can I trust you?" Asks The Doctor, pulling you from your state of wonder.

"Yes" you answer immediately and semi-honestly.

You would never do anything to jeopardise her, Yaz, The Tardis or anyone else.

She turns to leave then pauses.

"You're going to sleep on the floor again aren't you?"

You don't reply but head into the bathroom and lock the door. You were tired and overwhelmed, and really didn't need this right now. You hear the bedroom door click as The Doctor finally leaves you alone. You know it's against her better judgement.

You strip and take a shower, enjoying the sensation of the hot water over your body, tense muscles slowly relaxing, leaving you free to think about all that had happened. The fear in The Doctor's voice, the sensation of blood loss, and the touching kindness of the alien you barely knew. You wish you had had the chance to thank them.

You step out the shower onto the mat and wrap a towel around yourself. It's then that you realise you probably shouldn't have got your arm wet, the bandages heavy and sopping. You peel them off to examine your wounds, finding rows and rows of puckered and sore tiny black stitches. You feel a pang of regret as you picture The Doctor stitching you together piece by piece.

The skin is warm and irritated but looks clean. You wipe the condensation from the mirror and check your neck wound too.

You barely find the two neat puncture holes, running your fingers over the smooth bumps momentarily before returning to your bedroom.

You pick out simple nightwear and pull the blankets off your ready made bed, curling up into a tight ball, shivering slightly against your wet hair. You are asleep within minutes.

                                 *           *           *

You wake with a start, gasping and panting, sweat pouring down your face and sheets tangled around your legs which you fight to release. You stand and stumble to the bathroom, blinking in the harsh light and turn on the tap.

You gulp at the water then cup it in your hands and throw it over your face. Your reflection is pale and shaky, and you feel nausea swirl in the pit of your stomach.

Understanding, you pull up the toilet seat and dry retch until you are left curled up on the bathroom floor, the cool tiles soothing you slightly.

Minutes pass and you rise slowly from the floor and pull on a long grey dressing gown from the bathroom door.

You know you will never get to sleep now, not after watching your sister die for the thousandth time, so you decide to head off into the Tardis and do some exploring to see just how big she really is.

You stride across your room and shut the door behind you with a quiet click, taking a left, two rights and a left, following the golden glows of the overhead beams and running your hand along the cool wall to ground yourself.

A door is shut on front of you, but when you turn back you are sure it was a left corridor that brought you to this spot, not a right. A forked path confuses you further and you feel mild panic set up.

This ship was much bigger than you had anticipated and you were beginning to feel scared you would never get back. Heart racing, you jump when a door ahead opens up. Gingerly you inch it open further and gasp in awe and surprise.

Shelf upon shelf upon shelf of books surround you in a huge cathedral sized room. You stay silent as you wander the shelves, stunned by the sheer size of the place and the volume of books it held. At the end of one particular row you find a wooden book stand with a huge book open perfectly down the centre.

As you approach you notice not writing, but an image, a painting to be specific of what must be another planet, because it certainly wasn't earth, and there was something else. The painting was... it was moving? Just like in Harry Potter the image was moving and progress was clearly being made in the scene.

You watch as futuristic looking planes shoot at the huge smashed globe in the middle of the page, smoke rising in violent patterns from the minute buildings below.

Red beams and gunfire litter the scene, and you could almost hear the shouts of war and fear. In fact you could just about make out the people themselves if you leaned in just a little bit closer....

Someone clears their throat behind you and you nearly drop to the floor in fear. You whip round to see The Doctor facing you, arms crossed, obtaining what should have been an angry face, but looked just a little stern. She had been completely silent in her approach.

"I'm sorry Doctor I had a nightmare, I went for a walk and the Tardis brought me here.... I'm sorry for snooping, I was just curious about this book."

"Curiosity isn't a bad thing (Y/n), but if you wanted to know about my past you could have just asked me." she scolds gently.

You frown and slowly make the connection.

"You mean... this planet...?"

"Is my home, yes" she says in a detached voice

"That's Gallifrey?" You ask in disbelief.

"Yes." The Doctor nods, looking surprised you remembered. Of course you remembered. In a lifetime of shit, you remember the good.

She approaches and you try not to be so obvious in your shuffle backwards. She meets your eyes and you feel shame burn your neck. Of course she noticed, she always does.

"This is a hyperstatic image, it's a moment of time captured and replayed over and over. This is minutes before I locked it in a pocket universe" she finishes in the same monotonous voice.

"You- you did that?" You ask, stunned, and she nods sadly. You are slightly panicked, you've never seen her look so vulnerable before, she was such a leading figure in your life.

"I had no choice. It was my people or the universe, the time war was raging on with no hope of ending..."

You look at her in sympathy, finally feeling you understood her a little better. If your last resort was to condemn your people and your planet to another solitary universe, you would try hard to do the right thing from every day on too.

"I'm sorry" you say, knowing these words were so little and inconsequential, but she breaks into a small smile.

"It was a long time ago now, I've moved on, but I keep a reminder so I never forget." She says and turns to walk away.

With one last glance at the book, you turn and follow her all the way back to the safety of your room.