13 Novella 1

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TW: self harm

"Hello (Y/n)" she says calmly, while you try to convince your lungs to take in some air.

She smiles down at you, a grin so familiar you could have seen it just yesterday, and recognised it just about anywhere.

"Hello Doctor" you mange you say, too scared to blink, should she suddenly disappear. She surveys your room from bed to window before landing back on you. She smiles again and turns back to the nurse "I'm going to need a couple of minutes alone with (Y/n) here" she says politely.

"I'm sorry ma'am but that is simply not possible, you see, (Y/n) is a high risk patient and highly unpredictable, it is also possible you may smuggle her contraband from your, Er, coat" she says with feeling, as though you weren't sat four feet away.

"Not a problem, I was searched upon entering the building, and I have my credentials right here" she says cheerfully, pulling a small flat wallet out of an inside pocket and waving it in front of the nurse's face.

"Well I guess, seeing as you have been given special permission by the-" she squints at the paper a little before continuing "Er-Queen, yes I suppose just five minutes, and I won't be far, yes" she stammers, before pushing the pull door, correcting herself and leaving.

"You really shouldn't do that" you say solemnly. "She's never going to forget this"

"Oh I doubt it" the blonde says happily, before her smile disappears when you don't reply. She crosses the room to sit on your bed and you flinch as though she has slapped you.

You scoot towards the pillows, maintaining a safe distance between you two.

"(Y/n)?" She says softly. You don't reply, staring straight ahead.

"What happened?"

You shake your head, absentmindedly stroking the zigzag scar that covers half your face. A token of that day.

"How long have you been here?, you look older"
You snort derisively. "Only four years, so yes I look older" you snap without regretting it. The Doctor is silent, and your anger ebbs away.

"I'm sorry" she whispers, voice catching,

"For what, this is my fault, I did this to myself" you reply, and it's true, sure, Jay put you in here, but you could have got out sooner if you didn't keep trying to end your life in creative ways.

"No, no I should never have let you leave"

You frown, let you leave?

"I was too much trouble, don't worry, I understand" you say in a gentle tone.

"Absolutely not! I let you leave because I thought you wanted to go home?"

"Home... I never wanted to return" you say.

"Then come back" she says quietly. You finally meet her eyes and see them alive with a burning intensity.

"I can't leave" you say blankly "I'm not allowed"

"Breaking the rules is my favourite part" grins The Doctor, jumping time her feet.

"So what do you say? Let me try again, to show you the wonders of the universe, to show you that life is so much bigger than planet Earth, that life is worth living" she says the last part in a gentler tone again. Staring at you intently with those loving hazel eyes.

"I say..." your reply, your mind having been on autopilot for so long, without focus and without hope. But this was the moment to decide, die here or live out there, back in the place you felt safest, under the careful eye of a woman you trusted with your life.
"Yes"