13 Novella 2

Grave

You wake the next morning, or at least you think it's morning, to someone shuffling around your bed.

Instantly you freeze and they pause.

"I like your hair" says The Doctor and you open your eyes. You pull a strand in front of your face. It is definitely blue.

You let it drop and shuffle upright.

"I thought you might like go somewhere today?" Asks The Doctor and you consider this. She offers a tray of food and you take the tea but shake your head at the rest. She looks you over shrewdly and places it on your bedside table.

"So where would you like to go?" She asks in a voice of forced optimism, but you already have an answer.

Unable to speak still, you look her in the eyes with difficulty and try to express yourself. She seems to understand, for her next thought is of a grave you know very well.

"Abi?" She asks gently and you nod, glad she understood. "Ok, when you're ready" she says and turns to leave with a swish of her lilac coat. You sit back with your tea and contemplate.

Finished, you stand and find some clothes nearby. You change quickly and down the rest of your drink before setting off in the console's direction.

The Tardis is anxious for you, so you run a hand along the wall to soothe her. She isn't convinced.

You arrive at the main room on deck and observe it distantly.

The Doctor looks up and smiles before continuing with her typing. You walk right up to the console.

The Tardis whirrs and you pat her reassuringly.

"She's worried about you" comments The Doctor without looking up. You ignore them both.

Soon Jenny and Yaz arrive, followed shortly by Missy. The former pair keep a respectful distance and try not to stare too much. Missy however takes one look at you and bursts out laughing.

"Yeah the blue hair really screams mentally stable" she wheezes. You don't react.

"Oh she really is mute, that's boring" pouts Missy.

You watch Jenny move towards her until The Doctor steps deliberately between them.

"Enough" she says firmly and both settle. Without another word she takes off and you fly towards Earth with natural chaos. You're first out the door when you land, already sick of the concerned glances being shot your way every few seconds.

You blink in the sudden sunshine and check the grave nearest. You know roughly where to look, and follow a chalk path until you see two people in the distance.

Women by the looks of it, one younger and blonde, and one older and greying. They stand over a single grave that you know to be Abi's, but you wonder where your mother's one is.

You don't recognise them which is strange, but you reason they could just be interested. As you think this, the blonde woman places of wreath of flowers over the marble grave and takes a step back.

Abi's grave is stone.

You feel The Doctor and Jenny behind you, and know Yaz is somewhere further back. Missy waits alone in the Tardis.

You approach the women carefully, ignoring the sharp intake of breath from The Doctor when you get close. The women turn to you, faces twisted with grief. The older woman has a lined face, and wears a simple grey dress and blazer. You were with her when she bought that dress.

The younger woman wears her long curly blonde hair loose about the shoulders of her black dress. Your dress actually. It had always looked better on her than it did on you. You feel your stomach plunge as she looks you in the eye. Face older but definitely hers.

Voice cracking, you say your first words since your torture.

"Abigail"

* * *

The others freeze behind you and you scrunch your face against the Doctor's panicked thoughts.

"Do I know you?" Your sister asks and your heart cracks right down the middle. You are unable to form a proper sentence.

Instead you look down at the grave and breathe in sharply at the next shock.

It's yours.

But the dates are the same as your mother's. So you died the day she did. Only here she stands, next to Abi, alive and well.

You open your mouth but The Doctor steps forward hastily.

"We're just visiting, we knew (Y/n) a while ago"

The words sound funny even to her, talking about you as though you were dead again.

"What are your names, she never mentioned you?"Asks your mother suspiciously and you bite back your answer.

"I'm The Doctor, this is Jenny, Yaz and Missy"

You aren't too happy about your false name but it's not like you can say anything.

"Oh, well I'm sure she'd appreciate you coming" Abi says, turning back to your grave.

Abi's mind is soft and dainty and makes you want to cry.

She was all grown up in this reality, for it was clear you weren't here, and she had apparently lived along with your mother. You hadn't killed her.

"How did she die?" You blurt out suddenly, looking down at your grave. Your mother starts to cry and Abi pats her back.

"There was a man. He was... abusive. One day he lost it. She was trying to save us" she says without looking at you, and suddenly you can see it, a single image of her head, a distant and painful memory.

Just two years before you lost Abi, your mother died protecting you two from Jay. You vividly remember that day, burned into your skull, contemplating whether to interfere, but you were already too late. Here however, you must've done.

You died the day your mother did. This was how it was supposed to be. You feel dizziness envelop you and rest your palms on your knees, her face killing you with its sweet sorrow.

"Is she ok?" Asks Abi, and it breaks you a little more to hear the concern in her voice. You were supposed to look after her, not the other way round. But she was all fine. She didn't even need you in the end. She needed her mother, and you had stood in the way of that in your known reality. The thought hits you like a thump in the stomach.

"She's fine, we'll leave you to it now." Says The Doctor, pulling firmly on your arm to make you move. Taking the hint and ignoring your protests, Jenny grabs your other arm and tries to lead you away.

Already in a state, you panic at their touch but they don't let go as you see yourself again from The Doctor's perspective- only this was years ago, the day she met you.

Tears are flowing down your cheeks now and you turn to go back, but you are no match for a Time Lady and a semi.

You struggle hard but they keep a firm hold, pulling you all the way back to The Tardis.

Yaz closes the door behind you and they release their hold. Instantly you turn to run back out the door but it clicks locked at a zap from the sonic.

"Let me out, please, that's my sister, and my mother, please!" You wail, but no one answers.

The floor reverberates and you shriek, clawing at the door as the box takes off, away from your family all over again.