Undercover | a. hotchner |

Chapter 39

I sat my desk staring at the report due by the end of night. I just needed another hour and I could go home to my warm bed with my boyfriend and who is essentially my stepson at this point. I love that kid to death.

A soft voice appeared at my side, "Are you doing okay?"

I nodded as Emily placed a hand on my back. She came by the day after my procedure. Wanted or not it's not something that is easily forgotten. I'm still grieving it, its been a difficult couple of months. I was back at work though. Showing my best friends and co-workers that I was capable, even if they weren't aware of what was going on. I was being the stronger one, getting on with my life.

I placed my hand on hers that rested on my shoulder, "I appreciate you checking in on me... but you don't have to do it so much anymore."

"I want to, I know Hotch does a lot for you but he doesn't get to be the only one that loves you." She says with a laugh.

"And you guys have done a good job on making sure I don't forget it that's for sure."

"You bet your ass we don't. Everyone was going to get some dinner. You want in?"

I'd taken up on their offers many times in the last few weeks, I wanted a quiet night in this time. Maybe a movie and some pizza, then a work out so i didn't feel guilty about the pizza. And forcing Aaron to join me because watching him lift weights is practically sex to me.

"Not this time I'm afraid." Emily starts to walk to the desk across from me and sits down.

She scrunches her face, "Are you sure I can't convince you this time around?" I stand up, abandoning the report and stepping in front of her.

"I'm sorry."

"I totally had some juicy gossip to tell you tonight but I guess you don't get to know about it since you don't like us."

I toss my head to chuckle, "Oh I'm gonna get it out of you. Sober you might be adamant on withholding secrets. Now drunk you? Emily Prentiss you'd be spilling everything like a glass of water. If I feed you then all bets are off. I've done it before."

"Bullshit you have."

"Clearly you were too drunk to remember." I raise my eyebrows and turn around to sit.

"Fine." Emily points a finger in my direction, "I have not given up, though I will give you some grace tonight. Enjoy your sexcapades."

"I will."

"Gross" She whispers as she walks to the elevator doors. Everyone had retired for the night, even Aaron. Though he had only left an hour ago. I understood the risks to my mental health coming back into work, into the office. Seeing the many victims who like me were powerless.

It fucks with my head in so many ways. No matter how many times I wanna throw in the towel I'm reminded after every case that those victims, those women get closure at the end of the day. The ones we help anyways. My therapist has reminded me that while I can't help everyone, I can try my hardest too.

____

I couldn't get home fast enough. When Emily left I was struck with a sense of urgency. I didn't want to miss being with Aaron for another second. We were both off tomorrow. A fact I thought about all week, laying in bed itch him for an extra ten minutes would be a blessing in disguise. Because I was horny.

When Emily made her little joke it struck a cord in me. Something at the back of my mind for days. Yeah I wasn't planning on having pizza anymore.