Undercover | a. hotchner |

Chapter 36

TW: Suicidal thoughts, mention of abortion, consumption of alcohol while pregnant

I feel like I should also mention that with Y/n's mental state it been declining rapidly over since the incident. Just a thought because it might seem sudden.

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When Aaron told me I needed to go back to work I accepted it but we made a deal. I would consult on cases whenever they left and I would stay at the office every once in a while.

Everything was fine until Strauss eventually saw what we were doing and was asking more questions.

I had to stay at the office and needed more involvement in the field.

There were no more excuses.

After a month everyone at work was noticing the little things I was doing. Whenever they talked and had their conversations I would never chime in like I used to. When they asked for my opinion I always blew them off.

The only people I was talking to were Aaron and Emily, they were the only ones who knew what happened.

It was hard, going to work and seeing the faces staring at me like I was an outsider.

Today I finished my work early and took the rest of the day off. Making my way up the stairs into Aarons office, I kept my head down and averted my gaze from Morgan who was staring at me.

He was so confused and frustrated.

After I grabbed my bags and left, he had enough.

All of them wanted answers.

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"Five dollars", the cashier said to me.

While handing her the money my mind raced, thinking of all of the possibilities. My period was late, I was never late.

I found myself waking up with this realization and before I knew it I was stepping over Aarons sleeping body and I was in the car, driving to a twenty-four hour Walgreens.

I took deep breaths as I focused my eyes on the road.

Getting back home I crept through the house. My first stop was to the hallway bathroom.

Laying the tests onto the counter I slowly opened one.

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I was laying on the floor with my phone in my hand, it had been twenty minutes since I took the first test. My eyes were shut when I felt the door move against my foot.

With his hair tousled to the side I had a soft smile and looked up at him. He shuffled in and sat on the side of the bathtub, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" He rubbed his eyes and looked around the room. His tired eyes landed on the test.

"How long?"

I used the wall to stand up and sighed, "It's already done." He cocked his head to the side and observed my body language. "I took five of them... I'm pregnant."

"You're what?" Aaron said in disbelief.

There was a moment of happiness on his face, a tiny glimmer of hope, then it was wiped quicker than it came. His memory betrayed the both of us because of what happened a month ago.

I had already processed that I was pregnant but watching Aarons faint smile fade away broke me a little more.

Our hearts sank into our stomachs. I didn't want it to be like this.