The Same

Chapter 17

{Sam's POV}

"Thank you so much," she whispers, giving me a hug. "I had so much."

"Me too," I smile. "I'm really proud of you"

"See you later!" she returns the smile and gives me a kiss on the cheek before disappearing inside her house.

With a sigh, I climb back in the car and stare out the window. I really was proud of her. I know very well how hard it is to open up to someone about your feelings. I'm almost proud to the point where I'm starting to get jealous. I trust her, and I know she'd be willing to listen to whatever I have to say, but I still haven't told her.

I almost resent her for not asking me why I live with my grandparents, but I understand it's an awkward question. It would be awkward to answer, too, but easier than just telling her. I know it's crazy, but I sometimes wonder if she just doesn't care enough to ask.

•••

I've always thought dinner dates were stupid. I mean, who eats neatly enough that they wouldn't mind eating across from the one person who you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of? I agreed to go anyway though, and I admit it was fun. If you don't count the part where I laughed so hard at something she said soda almost came out my nose (the key word there is "almost").

Anyway, we decided to take a walk around town afterwards. She was rambling on about how grateful she was to have me and to have been able to go swimming and everything she's already said. I wasn't listening. All I could think about was how now would be the perfect time to tell her. Everything in me wanted nothing more than to just let it out, if only my mouth would speak the words. Suddenly, I realized she was still talking.

"Sam?" she was looking at me with concern.

There you go, Sam. She's concerned about you. She cares.

I guess I didn't process that message, because before I know it, the words are out of my mouth and she's staring at me with a mix of shock and regret.

"Haven't you ever wondered why I live with my grandparents?"

Her face makes me want to take the words back, but they're already out.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I should go-"

"Wait," she puts her hand on my shoulder and spins me around.

"Yes. I have, but I just didn't think it was something I could just ask. I thought you would have told me if you really wanted to."

Then, her face turns to nothing but hurt as she opens her mouth again.

"Did you want to?" her voice is small, like she almost doesn't want to hear the answer.

"Of course I did but-" I stop myself before the words can come out. I know I've gone too far. I've already hurt her, but I have to know.

"Did you really care?"

Now, I can see tears in her eyes as I rush to explain.

"I mean, I know you care about me but I just...with everything you told me, you never asked about my life. I really wanted to tell you, April, but I just didn't think you'd care."

"No...no," her head starts to shake. "No, Sam. Why would you think I don't care? I've never cared more about anyone in my entire life of course I want to hear whatever you want to tell me. Just because I ask doesn't mean I don't want to hear!" She's yelling now.

"Okay, look. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even said anything-"

"It doesn't matter! You did say something, and now I understand that maybe I was a bad friend but what do I know about friends? I've never even had a friend. All I ever had was you, but I guess you're really not my friend if you don't think I'm yours."

With that, she spins around and starts walking away.

"April! Wait!"

She starts to run, and the faster she goes the more it sinks in that I just lost my only friend here. Oh yeah, I lost my girlfriend, too.

I guess a lot can happen on a dinner date.

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Ooooh drama😱

So idk what I'm doing wrong but my first chapter got 100+ reads and now I can't even get to 20. I realize I haven't been updating as much but is there something I should be doing to get more reads? Idk but please leave feedback bc I really want to hear from you😊

Anyway hope you're all having a great February so far!💘
-Abby🎷