Rhekker || Never Let Go

Chapter 7: Guess His Heart

[Resuming from 4×3]

[Chicago Med, E.D.]

Weeks have passed since their night at the bar. Connor's O.R. has finally finished construction and is now only days from being in full operation. This morning, he's on trauma call. Before starting his shift, he's getting familiar with his hybrid O.R.

"So... It's only – what, five days till your hybrid O.R.'s up and running?" Just when he was checking the lights, the room's got an unexpected guest. Ava's just gotten to the hospital and decided to pay him a visit.

"Four, actually, and I've still got personnel to train and logistics to figure out." Already used to her random appearances, Connor explains, only looking up for a brief moment.

Picking up the unusual formality in his tone, Ava raises her eyebrows: "You're nervous about this, aren't you?" Seeing Connor looking up, finally focusing on her, she continues to tease him, "I don't think I've ever seen you nervous. It's refreshing. Not necessarily attractive, but refreshing."

Dropping the sentence, Ava turns around and leaves the scene with a victorious little smile. She can never get enough of this.

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Not long after Ava left, Connor saw a patient with an aortic dissection. Usually, a small tear like this does not need surgical intervention. However, this originally stable patient's condition deteriorated rapidly.

"Maggie, get transport down, we need to get him moving!" Accompanied by the patient's painful screams, Connor slides the door wide open.

"IR's full. And both CT O.R.s are full too. There's nowhere to go!" Just coming off the phone, Maggie sounds anxious. She understands the seriousness —

"If his aorta ruptures, he's gonna bleed out!" Looking around, Connor's also at a loss. Suddenly, he sets eyes on the hybrid O.R. There's no time to think: "I'm opening up my hybrid O.R."

"It's not ready yet, and it's not fully stocked!"

"Bill is too unstable. I can't risk his aorta blowing while we wait to get him upstairs." This is the exact purpose of the hybrid O.R. He lost Trevor Keyes's life, he's not going to lose Bill Nevins's too.

"That team is not trained yet and it — you haven't done a single run-though! Dr. Rhodes!" Despite Maggie's efforts, Connor has made up his mind.

[Chicago Med, Hybrid O.R.]

The operation was not as optimistic as he imagined. The aneurysm was enlarging too rapidly for the minimally-invasive procedure to be successful. He decided to perform a thoracotomy.

"You opened his chest?!" Opening the door and realizing what's happening in the room, Ava is shocked.

"We didn't have a choice." Only glancing at her, Connor continues with his hands.

"You told me yourself this room wasn't ready! What if this patient doesn't survive?" Angry, she knows it must have been him going his own way again.

As if he didn't hear anything, Connor keeps working on the patient, not giving her a single word.

Seeing his attitude, her anger grew even stronger: "Connor, I advocated for this program. For you. And now you're gonna blow it up before it even starts?"

"Damn it. This isn't working." Still not answering her, Connor focuses on the operation. Things are not going well.

"Great. How do you propose we get him upstairs with his chest open?" Ava closes her eyes for a second. He just has the ability to make things tricky every time.

"I'm not going to. Give me a five-inch 30 millimeter Dacron graft. We're gonna cut out the damaged aorta and sew in a graft. Prepare for cross clamp."

"Cross clamp. That only gives you 30 minutes even under the best of circumstances! This is a terrible long shot!"

"Yeah, I understand the risk." At this point, there's no other choice.

Ava knows that that is the only way too. Things have already reached this point, she can only assist him to the best of her ability. "Fine. I'll scrub in. Six-and-a-half gloves."

"No. I have everyone I need." He regretted it immediately after saying it. But for some reason, he didn't say anything to keep her.

Standing stunned for a moment, Ava can't believe what he has just said. "You wanna kill this man, fine." Sneering, she throws the doors open and storms out of the O.R.

[Chicago Med, CT Department]

After hours of exhausting work, the surgery was at last successful. After sending the patient on his way to the ICU, Connor immediately went looking for Ava. He wants to apologize.

Finally finding Ava sitting at a computer, Connor is unconsciously relieved. "My patient pulled through."

"I'm glad to hear it." Ava is not surprised at his appearance. Without looking up, she continues typing.

"Look... I am sorry that I threw you out of my O.R. It was a mistake, it was inexcusable. So how about a peace offering? I'll buy you a drink."

He doesn't know what was with him in the O.R. He was never truly angry with her and never meant to embarrass her in front of so many people. Extending his offer, he thinks they'll be able to make up as they used to. But this time, he's surprised.

"I don't care about you throwing me out. What I can't stand is you acting so stupidly. Willing to destroy your program in service of your arrogance and your ego. So go enjoy your victory but I don't want any part of it." Her expressions remaining cold, Ava walks away and leaves the confused Connor by himself.

[Ava's Apartment]

Throwing her keys onto the entrance cabinet, Ava drops herself onto the couch. With a long sigh, she buries her face in her hands.

Indeed, Connor couldn't possibly know why Ava was so upset. She's gone to great lengths to secure that donation, even risking her safety, and he has put that all on the line. And though he doesn't say, she knows how excited he is for this project. She would hate to see it all taken away from him.

Though she didn't admit it to Connor, his attitude today did hurt her. When he said he "had everyone he needed", his indifference made her heart cold for a moment. But what's worse was the feeling that came after it.

Operating with Connor has become such a habit that she forgot he was just as capable to perform those procedures alone. The person on the other side of the table doesn't have to be her. It can be anyone. Or no one. —He doesn't need her. She's dispensable.

It makes her doubt whether all the time they've spent together made even a bit of difference in their relationship. Or are all his differences to her just an illusion? 

Guys do you like my little psychological portrayal? I hope to make it a bit more interesting but I don't want to be redundant.