Rhekker || Never Let Go

Chapter 5: What She Wants

Ava woke up earlier than usual. Though she was so exhausted yesterday both mentally and physically, she didn't sleep well. Despite their eventual agreement, Cornelius's sudden change of attitude unsettles her.

Still, she did her morning routine as usual. Standing in front of the mirror, she takes a deep breath before leaving the apartment. She can't make Connor suspicious.

[Chicago Med]

It was still quite early when Ava arrived at Med. The CT department was largely empty. Connor was nowhere to be found. Unconsciously, she breathed a sigh of relief. At least she doesn't have to face him for the time being. Looking at the dozens of text messages Connor sent last night, Ava shoves the phone into her pocket in frustration and went to prepare for her first surgery.

Near the end of the operation, Beth received a call: "Dr. Bekker, the Board needs you in the conference room. They said it's urgent."

Telling the resident to close, Ava quickly heads out of the O.R. She'd been waiting for this call all morning. She left too hastily last night to dig into Cornelius's truthfulness. She was starting to worry that he may have broken his promise.

With her head down, Ava quickly walks towards the meeting room, buried in her thoughts. Suddenly, a familiar voice sounds behind her: "Ava."

Ava turns around reflexively, then stumbling a little after she realizes who it was. "Hey." Responding briefly, she tries to cover it up.

Running a few steps, Connor catches up to her: "What happened last night? You didn't come to the party."

"I had an emergency operation." Giving a generic answer to his question, Ava hopes she can get away with it. He caught her off guard. She was still thinking about how she should react before he saw her earlier than she expected.

Just when Ava was prepared for more questions, Connor suddenly changed the topic: "Is everything ok?" He'd noticed she's a little off from the moment she stumbled. And though her makeup is fine as usual, he can see the dark circles under her eyes and the pale colour of her cheeks.

"Yeah." Knowing she'll give herself away, Ava quickly pulls herself together, "It was just an exhausting day yesterday." She really knows how to hide things. As she spoke, she regained her normal appearance. "The party wasn't fun without me was it?"

Seeing her joking like usual, Connor finally believed her in half, "Are you sure you're fine?"

"Of course. I'm fine." Luckily, there was no more time for him to delve into it. Pushing open the door, Ava confidently leads the way into the conference room.

[Chicago Med, Board Meeting Room]

As Ava expected, the room is filled with hospital officials. Goodwin greets them with a big smile: "Dr. Bekker, Dr. Rhodes, thank you for joining us. I have good news. The hospital received donations earmarked for your E.D. hybrid O.R., and the Board has decided to provide matching funds."

"We are going ahead with your proposal."

Silently letting out her held breath, Ava finally feels the weight off of her mind.

"Well, I am very happy to hear that." Connor, though, doesn't look very much excited. They didn't have to get them down here just to inform them of the decision.

As if confirming his guess, Goodwin continues: "But there is one stipulation, Dr. Rhodes. You have to stay and run the program."

Ava turns, fixing her eyes on Connor. Though her expression remains placid, she's nervous on the inside. She's done everything she can — all there remains now is Connor's choice.

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The Board invited Connor to stay and discuss the details. Ava had to leave the room, for she has another surgery scheduled very soon. When she left, Connor still didn't take a position. But the fact that he was willing to stay had her lay her mind down a little.

Stepping into the elevator, she can't stop thinking of Cornelius Rhodes. The feeling of unease from the night before surfaced again. And though she mentioned Connor was going to be heading the program, their agreement didn't specify that he would make it a necessary condition for the donation. But in any case, it's still what she wanted. Shrugging it off, she went to the O.R.

The rest of Ava's day was spent in surgery. She didn't have a chance to go see Connor. Her heart has been lifted all day, not knowing what Connor's decision was going to be. When she had finally finished, it was already dark outside. As she came out of the building, she heard the familiar voice: "Ava, hey."

She looks over, it was Connor. He had just gotten his car from the valet. Looking cheerfully at Ava, he makes an ambiguous remark: "So I was uh — I was looking into what you were talking about, Rochester, and you are right. It is very cold."

Realizing what he's going to say next, Ava's eyes sparkle in the dark. She holds her breath, carefully waits: "Yeah?"

"Yeah, so anyway, I told the Board I was going to stay here at Med." Seemingly lighthearted, Connor fixes his eyes on Ava and throws out the news, trying to dig for her reaction.

"Really." Using all her strength to hold down the corners of her mouth, Ava tries not to make her joy too obvious.

"Yeah. I mean, if the program is a success, then it could be a very big deal." Looking away from Ava's beautiful eyes, Connor tries to explain his decision, to her, and to himself.

"It's a better career move than Mayo." Ava justifies it for him. And just like Connor, she is saying it to herself, too. Securing the donations for the hybrid O.R., she'd be lying if she said it wasn't because of her own intentions. But now that Connor's decided to stay, she feels as if she forced him into this decision — maybe in the back of her mind, she always knew he would stay for the project he's so passionate about. She just hopes that it's still beneficial for Connor, that she didn't rob him of a better career to keep him with her.

"Exactly." Connor chuckles, easing Ava's worries a little.

"Okay." Finally breaking into a smile, Ava didn't forget to talk business, "Well I guess I don't need to remind you. You're no longer on the CT service."

"Yet, you did." Connor frowns, pretending to be confused, then breaks into an indulgent smile.

"From now on, when you bring a patient upstairs, I decide the course of treatment." Now back to her usual self, Ava continues, as if she didn't see his charming expression.

"Now you see, if I had gone to Mayo, that's exactly the kind of collegial interaction I would've missed." Finally getting into his car, Connor can't stop smiling. That's the Ava he knew. Sometimes gentle, sometimes tough, but always has her own pride. Now that he thinks about it, he can't imagine going to work without her.

Watching Connor drive off, Ava's smile slowly disappears. She's gotten what she wanted, but the weight of her secret is too heavy for her to breathe. She doesn't know how much time she has, nor what will happen when that time runs out. But now, she can only try her best to make it last.

I'm so sorry everybody!!! I know. I'm so damn slow. Please still comment on anything you'd like me to know. I'm starting to question my style/quality of writing.