Finding Her (urban)

Chapter 9 - Trust Issues

Terrence would leave early in the morning and come back late in the night, sometimes even the next day. I always waited for the sound of his keys rattling downstairs before I could rest my eyes. It had been going on for a week now and honestly I couldn't stand it. The bed no longer dipped on his side and I missed that; the way his arms would securely wrap around my waist but he slept downstairs now. I convinced myself it was because it was easier for him to leave the house whenever the need may be; but deep down I knew he was trying to be as far away from me as possible.

The few times we did run into each other in the morning, no words were spoken; the sound of his musical laughter had now been replaced with deafening silence. The golden globes that reflected his anguish denied mine the access to his pain; it was as if they loathed my presence. The magnetic field which drew our bodies together powered by our lustrous thoughts had decreased. His aura emitted musky scents of disgust mixed with regret but I still wanted to hold him and let him know I was there for him. Every time he reluctantly looked at me, he probably saw my father's face and the youth stolen from his sister and niece. I hated how he was pushing me away when I knew he needed me most; he was vulnerable. I had never seen him like this; and I didn't want this to jeopardise his position in the game, people would see him as the weak link. It would be easier for his enemies to kill him...

I had noticed my appearance had changed a lot, I was losing weight, bags were reforming under my eyes from the lack of sleep and my skin was going back to a sickly pale colour. I was putting more effort into worrying about Terrence that I was denying my body of it's basic needs. I was losing myself in this man in such an unhealthy way when I hadn't even found myself; God, what am I doing? This wasn't love, which frightened me, how much more would I give to this man when I finally fall through love's outer surface and become engulfed in that imperishable feeling. A small patch of resentment was rapidly forming in my heart for this man who had become an addiction I'd never stop even if that meant sacrificing my own happiness.

Stupid Ariana.

It was almost 5 in the morning and I still hadn't heard his keys and it was worrying me; the latest I had heard him come home was around 2 in the morning. This was strange. Swinging my legs off the side of the bed, I tiptoed to the door, delicately tapping my toes against the marble floors, trying not to absorb as much cold from the ground into my feet. I peeked out of the bedroom door and looked left to right before scurrying to the top of the staircase. Everything looked intact, untouched and clean. Terrence had maids come in every couple days to clean both houses from head to toe even though most rooms would go unused. Sitting at the edge of the top stair, I crouched forward, resting my chest on my knees as my hair fell on to my feet caging my petite body. The urgency to sleep was on the rise; I had no energy to fight it as I hadn't eaten today too.

I shook my head trying to wake up my body which seemed to work for two minutes before my body resumed back into it's lazy position. My eyelids became heavy, the thin long eyelashes that framed them felt like the weight of a tonne of bricks and each time they swept over my eyes, they lured my being into the sleep realm. I decided to give in to the darkness, allowing my subconscious state to wander into the dark abyss containing the portal to my dreamworld.

I wasn't there for long...

My head shot up instantly as I heard the sound of the front door slamming with such force that it rattled the lower floor. My eyes squinted in his direction, focusing solely on his mysterious hazel glare. My peripheral vision had blurred the unidentified blood that smeared his black military styled garments. His piercing molten gold glare captivated my own forest green irises, dilating with an unreadable expression. He marched up the stairs with power in his strides never taking his eyes off me. Even though his muscles were tensed, he moved with such fluidness and speed until he was right in front of me, looming over my exposed body. He had stripped off the outer layers of my fragile being simply with his gaze; I felt naked even with his shirt stuck to my skin. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead as my anxiety kicked in; I didn't know which of his personas was about to make it's appearance. I hadn't seen the friendly and inviting side of Terrence in a while and I'd be a fool to think it would surface after all of this. My focus had now been transferred to the chipped nail polish on my feet; too intimidated by his 'at attention' military posture to even look at him anymore. A trail of a thick crimson liquid had followed his combat boots up the stairs, staining the expensive marble floors. I wondered who's blood it was.