Finding Her (urban)

Chapter 3 - Dream on

I had a dream last night...

In my dream the man who failed to raise me, saved me. Lying on the hard and rocky concrete ground of the alley way, I heard my name being called, 'Ariana, Ariana wake up, it's okay baby girl; I'm here.'

My head leaned back only to be met with piercing green eyes that looked all too familiar to me. This beautiful stranger had my eyes, the same shade of green with golden specks floating around. From what I could see, he was the complexion of milk chocolate and stood way taller than my body which lay on the ground. I felt drawn to him.

He said, 'Take my hand, I'm taking you home.'

My throat was dry and my voice came out hoarse, 'Who are you?'

Sensing the vulnerability in my voice, his softened, 'It's daddy, I'm sorry, please let me take care of you from now.'

All the anger and sadness I felt for him began to disappear and forgiveness seeped in through my limbs almost instantly. How could my body betray me, this was not what I wanted, he was only going to end up hurting me again and here I was accepting him. I couldn't let him know that just by his words he had broken through the barriers that guarded my fragile heart, but before I could stop myself, my hand had already reached out to his. My arm lingered in the air for a couple seconds as the familiar stranger stared at it with an unreadable expression plastered over his face. He probably thought he had to try and convince me with much more than the three lines he uttered. I was disappointed that it only took such little words for me to willingly give myself to him.

Growing tired, I dropped my arm back at my side. It hadn't even been five minutes and already he had rejected me again; but this time it was worse, this time I heard the promises that he failed to keep. Growing up, all I had were my mother's words about his abandonment but deep down there was a part of me that couldn't believe it. How could a man contribute to the creation of a child and leave them? It never made sense to me, but here I was witnessing that it was true. I could feel the tears forming at the corner of my eyes, it had been so long since I cried...

I remember coming home from school around 5pm after choir recitals. I had just been given the lead role in the school choir and couldn't wait to share the news with mother; she always told me to chase my dreams. I had been singing for a while now, it started off in my bedroom and never got any further than that until I mustered up the courage to join the school choir. Oh boy was I shy, the judging panel was filled with over 10 people, and there was an audience too.

I sung 'This little light of mine' and as the instrumental faded out, there was a big silence at the end before the crowd roared with applauses. That was the second best day of my life, today was the first; I had auditioned to be the head of the choir last week and found out today that I'd gotten the role. I couldn't wait to share the news with mother.

As I turned my key and opened the door, nothing could prepare me for the sight I was about to see. Mother was laid out on the floor naked, with a swamp of money covering her chest; her eyes were open but there was a distant look in them. Blood smeared her once beautifully rosy cheeks and continued down to her mouth which was swollen and bust. I could see her chest rising slowly but it was ever so faint.

When I dropped my school bag in shock horror, that's when she saw me. Her eyes widened as if she wasn't expecting me to come home. She was struggling to open her mouth to speak and it pained me to see her in this position yet I had no strength to walk over and help her, I was a coward. My eyes kept roaming over her body, up and down, then up and down again as my body remained frozen. Squinting, I finally noticed the scars and open wounds that covered both of her arms. They looked like scratch marks, some healed and the others were fresh.