Finding Her (urban)

Chapter 8 - Demons

*Terrence again in the mm 😍😍😍*

Conversation with Terrence had decreased drastically until it was non existent. We fell into an uncomfortable silence as the weight of the calamity about to unfold compressed my chest, trying to shift my respiratory organs. Inhale. Tension entangled in unfinished sensual desires and unidentified emotions polluted the heavily toxic atmosphere. I couldn't thoroughly grasp the enigma seated beside me nor the complexity and depth of his feelings at this point in time which bothered me. I needed to know if he was mad at me but he was giving me nothing; I couldn't allow this to hinder what we had started.

My exigency for some sort of empathetic meaningful words of assurance spoken by him was discarded when I remembered who he was. Terrence was the most feared man in the states and that reputation was achieved through his heartless demeanour. Humans were disposable to him and could easily be replaced. There was some hope in me that this golden 6'4 ruthless Herculean God would open his plump heart shaped lips to transfer serenity and calmness into my frightened body with his sweet velvet voice. I wanted to hear that my life would not be in danger because he was a God and nobody dared to fuck with him, but it never came. His silence was just conformation that whatever was brewing between my father and I would have an uncertain outcome no matter the impact of his influence. I was also waiting on him to tell me about who my socalled father was, everyone seemed to know about him but me. Although Terrence was on the other end of the trade spectrum, selling drugs whilst my dad sold women, there must have been some commonalities between both parties. The way Terrence's face became animated with the mention of his name only proved that. I could tell Terrence was in deep thought, sometimes his forehead would crease in frustration or his grip around the wheel would tighten. I knew it was best if I left him alone at that moment; I wasn't certain how he'd respond to me if I pressed on the issue. My main concern was what we were going to do, that was if there was still even a 'we'. If he never pursued me, my problems would have never become his to bare. My continuous rejection of his acquaintance pleas failed as a deterrent, reversing the effects. He was attracted to my stubbornness and unwillingness to pay him any attention. I assumed he wasn't used to girls turning him down and the time I spent with him made me realise why people craved for his presence. It was more than the power he held and the unlimited 0s that swept his account; beneath the layers of intimidating muscle, Terrence had a beautiful soul. His playfulness always refused to be subdued by the harsh reality that his tomorrows were less guaranteed because of his line of work. He risked his life just so others could enjoy the fruits of his hard labour. Who was I to tell him to stop when he was welcoming me into his home and helping me with this drug money.

'Terrence, please,' I reached over to touch his shoulder as we pulled into the drive way of his house. 'I can't bare this deafening silence. I want to know what you're thinking, are you mad at me?'

He let out a sigh of frustration, 'You know, I never thought I'd be getting myself in more shit because of a girl but you not just any girl. You're my woman, well I'm gone make that happen. Nobody gone fuck with my woman, even if I got to show those old ass cats who the fuck really runs these streets. I ain't mad at ya. I'm mad you were keeping these secrets, but I know you ain't fully aware of what's going on yourself.'

'I wanted to tell you everything, I was just scared of opening up because that's when people hurt me the most,' I whispered the last part.

I could see him clenching his jaw through my peripheral vision; the way his muscles tensed in his face, freezing the perfected sculpture of beauty had me thinking of the acts we did before. It was the wrong time but I wanted more; his presence alone unlocked the fiery nymph goddess that lay dormant in my body. My body yearned for his. Biting my lip, I slowly turned away noticing a smirk forming on his face, softening his hardened expression.