Finding Her (urban)

Chapter 6 - Hero

Jerome didn't come into work for the rest of the week and for some reason it bothered me greatly. I hadn't heard from him either. I sat two nights patiently waiting by the phone for his call, which never came. I know he saw my missed calls, bastard. The saddest thing is that I felt like we were building a bond; his deep velvety voice was like my antidote, soothing the pain and anguish I harbored from experiences similar to his own. The genuineness ingrained in his promises to be there melted away the wall of sharp impenetrable icicles guarding my heart. The barrier and entrance to the most fragile entity in my body had been breached in only a day, by a stranger.

My body failed me, Jerome failed me. His words held no weight just like the people who claimed to care for me years before he even made his appearance in my life. It was high time I stopped allowing the side pieces to take centre stage in my life, this was my show. I realised my actions lately were pathetic, my dependence on others to fill the void in my life and bring me happiness was what would ultimately bring me disappointment. If I was looking for eternal happiness, I'd have to look for it within an eternal being. God, perhaps? I shook my head rejecting the thought that someone who allowed my life to spiral out of control was actually real. If he was, this world wouldn't be so chaotic, I thought. I'm sticking with that.

I had just picked up my check from work and decided to do a little food shopping for myself since I was running low on groceries. I was tired of eating junk food but with no stove, what could I really do? I was planning on saving the rest. Hopefully I could put a down payment on a studio apartment soon. I was dreading bumping into the motel manager again and wanted to get out of that place fast. Staring at the numbers written on my check, I began cheesing hard. I just made 182 dollars in 4 days, and that wasn't including the tips. I noticed that customers tended to lean towards my till and when they'd finish purchasing their meal, they'd drop me between 2-15 dollars in tips. Added up, the tips came to 250 dollars, of course those chicken heads I worked with were mad. They even formulated an idea that all tips should be put in a jar and split equally at the end of the day which Davis shut down with ease. They did not help me make this money, there was no way I'd willingly give it up anyway. I had stashed it all inside my pillow case, it's not like the help changed my sheets regularly. As I walked past a tall structured glass building, I took the time to admire my reflection. I was glowing today, my thickly shaped exposed thighs glistened as the sun directly shun on them. My colour was slowly returning back to it's healthy vanilla shade; I had started looking sickly pale lately. My skin was without blemish, I had a lot to be happy about; I could see the beauty I had so blindly ignored these years. My hair which graced my back in loose curls, swayed as it let the gentle breeze direct it's path. Maybe it was time I cut it, it was almost down to my butt in its curly state, imagine when straightened. Letting go of these locks would be a hard decision but it was what I needed; a change was happening internally and was encouraging me to do the same outside. I was gaining real confidence and an unapologetic attitude. All this walking had really toned up my body, I spun around admiring the results, ignoring the bystanders who looked on with confused stares. The black high waisted shorts that hugged my hips firmly accentuated my curves in every way, along with the tribal bandeau top that barely covered my medium sized breasts. I decided to take a risk today with my clothing, the weather was much warmer too; I looked good. Although my skin was returning back to it's warm shade, I was still unhappy with the plainness; a couple piercings and tattoos wouldn't hurt. I was so deep into my thought, I didn't realise I had attracted a crowd of men. Sighing, I looked at them with a bored expression; to be frank I was not moving, I wasn't finished praising myself. My self approbation was long over due.

'You got a fat ass, I'm tryna see it without the clothing,' A short dark skinned man with a baby face emerged from the crowd. He dapped his boys as they laughed at his foolery; his introduction was worse than Jerome's. It was obvious he had no respect for women.