Through the Swell

Chapter 12 - Luke Quinland

**Lukes POV** #Week3

I might as well quit my job, everyone whispers about me like my name is printed across the top of a newspaper. And it may as well be, 'Hooligan at it again', I still haven't apologised to Joe and it's embarrassing because I know that I need to, I know I was in the wrong.

I just lost my rag, I thought she meant she loved him, I thought that was my girl loving someone else and I couldn't have that. Heck, I hadn't even told her how properly how I felt. We had had one whole conversation, and then I fucked it and now i'm the reason she is where she's at right now.

But that was nearly 3 weeks ago and I still can't let it go, the boys haven't been the same without Liv around and that resuscitation we had last week shook everyone up. And there was no one to confide in, so everyone just kept quiet, kept it bottled up like there were corks in our mouths and it was awful, we all suffered.

I took about 4 days off, hoping it would clear the mist, but it hadn't, I arrived back at work with it still as stale as ever. And the worst part is that I didn't know how to make this right at all, actually I'm lying, I'm just too stubborn, but I think I've had enough now.

*******

It was 5:35am, everyone was arriving at beach who was anybody today, especially ones I didn't want to work with, and today they were all going to see me crumble. We gathered into the hut to have our daily meeting where I saw the faces of Jackson, Joe, Harrison, Deano, Haynes, Kert and Ricci, these were the people I was going to apologise too.

Haynes sped through our early meeting like he was trying to run a marathon, we learnt a school was coming to the beach, but after that it was all a blur because I couldn't focus, I just felt afraid.

"Right that's everything, of you lads go-"

"Wait, I have something to say" I put my hand out in front of me as I interrupted Haynes, I looked around as I saw eyes rolling at me, people sighed.

"Can you all just take a seat, please?" I gulped as they all stared at me unimpressed.

"You better make this quick" Joe said dryly.

"I will, don't you worry" I muttered realising they were a scary intimidating bunch.

I stepping into the middle of what just look like a bully circle and I was the victim, well that's how I felt anyway. "I just, I just want to" I stuttered, I was a stubborn and selfish man, I couldn't apologise ever, but this time I had too.

"Spit it out"

"I just wanted to apologise for everything I've done" I turned around saying it to Joe, the one who told me to 'spit it out'.

I turned to Ricci who sat with his arms crossed in his chair, legs apart, eyes boring into my head.

"Ricci, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not helping Joe when your daughter needed such serious help, I didn't think it was.. I didn't think at all, I should've acted as its my job, but I let my feelings get in the way and because of that Liv is where she is and that's not fair"Ricci suddenly had a look of sadness on his face, sympathy and sadness.

"You don't have to apologise Luke, it wasn't your fault, you just should've used that noggin of yours" he smiled weakly and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Ricci"

"Don't be my boy, she'll come back fine and dandy, she's our miracle girl"

I smiled as he stood up and patted my shoulder before sitting back down. I took a breath and turned to Haynes.

"Haynes, I'm sorry for making this a frequent thing, and especially in the workplace, it was so unprofessional of me to do that. I'll never do it again, even with Liv, It won't happen again. I'm trying to sort it all out and especially now, I just need you to know I know that I messed up-"

"Luke, you're a hot headed dick, but I wouldn't have you any other way, just don't bring it to work and we'll be fine okay?" He raised his eyebrows at me smiling. I ducked my head and then looked back up to him, nodding slowly.

"Good man"

"Thanks for understanding" I muttered knowing how right he was.

And finally, the big one, Joe.

"Joe" I breathed as I looked at him in his chair.

His piercing blue eyes could've killed me in an instant the way he was looking at me, it was the most menacing look I'd ever seen, he still hasn't forgiven me and I don't know if he will.

"You don't have to forgive me, I just need you to know how sorry I am" he didn't move, his arms crossed on his chest and his shirt across his knees, which were both bobbing up and down, some nervous/natural twitch he has.

"Go on" he growled, I gulped nervously again as I felt sweat on my lip.

"I, I'm sorry for not helping you with Liv, like I said, I let my feelings get the better of me and I didn't help. I was jealous and I didn't want you touching her and I got angry, I knew if I helped I'd probably do something I'd regret, like throw you down there with her or something, you know?" He didn't look impressed.

"Either way- I just- I'm sorry, so sorry, it was unprofessional too, especially in front of a crowd, to look like I wasn't doing my job" I gave a quick glance at Haynes who nodded knowingly, I looked  back to Joe who was still straight faced.

"And I'm- I'm really, really, and I mean deeply truly sorry about- about" I twiddled my thumbs stuttering my way through.

"About throwing that bottle at you at that BBQ and drinks thing. That was way over the line and I couldn't control myself or my feelings, I'm just so hung up on that girl, my blood boiled when I heard what you said to each other and I got out of control. If I could go back and change time and what happened oh god I would re-do it oh I would, I just want you to forgive me Joe because I never meant to hurt you or anyone else, especially Olivia" at this point I was practically begging.

He still hasn't moved, and I felt deflated. I'd let my heart out and the stubborn gorilla that I was had apologised, completely and utterly defenceless I stood waiting for Joe to say something, ANYTHING.

Suddenly he sat forward, I thought he was going to hit me an my face and body sagged, ready for him too. As he got to his feet I closed my eyes, only to be slowly and carefully pulled into a man hug. Joe, a man of very few nice words was, hugging me, and patting my back, hugging me really tight, so I hugged him back and smiled.

Suddenly I was engulfed in a big bear hug of 8 men who had just seen my walls come crashing down around me because the shame and embarrassment of MY mistakes had all become too much and I was too stubborn to do anything about it till now

"I forgive you you big dickhead" Joe smiled as he ruffled my hair after the bear hug.

I smiled looking down at my feet, bashful, I felt accomplished, like I'd done something worth while that wouldn't be forgotten, and in a good way. Everyone left the hut one by one smiling as they entered the world for a new day

As I was about to leave the hut I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Ricci.

"You're a brave boy, it's good you overcame your fears, it's a brace thing to do being so stubborn like you are, you've done everyone a favour, thank you for apologising" he smiled knowingly.

"Thanks, it just had to be done, I was stupid" I sighed smiling a little.

"Damn right you were" Ricci laughed nudging me. I looked at him a little shocked, like it was a dig at what I'd done, then I realised he was kidding as he laughed.

"C'mon kid, get going" he pointed to the beach as I smiled.

"Yes sir" I mumbled grinning for ear to ear.

"Just remember though, thats my daughter. And if you fuck up like you did here with her, I'll kill you" He smiled.

Maybe I wouldn't have to be so stubborn anymore, and I knew he definitely wasn't joking.