Beauty and the Beast (Remus Lupin)

77.

Today was one of the days that Rose wish she could skip. Just take a long nap throughout the day and wake up at 12 in the morning. She didn't want to celebrate her birthday without Remus. Waking up that morning was dreadful.

No matter how hard she pushed herself, she was glued to the bed. Thinking that the days leading up to this one started looking bright, only made her feel worse.

Clutching the pillow she laid on, she shut her eyes praying the day would end. She hoped, with everything that she had left, that things would just get better. That the strains that Remus costed her would heal.

There was so much that she wish she could've asked him. Maybe he would've stayed instead of run.

She had all the opportunities to ask him what was wrong, to make sure he was alright, but she expected too much.

Rose had expected things to just fix themselves without realzing that those opportunities were missed in the blink of an eye. Yet regret seemed to be stuck to her in an unxpected way. As much as she wanted to go back in time and get him to stay, she knew she couldn't.

She knew that what was done had been done. After all this time, it was still difficult to accept that to heart.

About two days ago, Rose completely shut herself out from the word. The only time she made human contact was for meals or dropping Ginny off at King's Cross for the new year, with Snape as headmaster.

But when they went to do that, they also ran into Luna and Neville. Luna made her guess as to the baby being a boy while Neville stared nervousily at her stomach. Draco was also there, and he looked like he was death himself. All the color was drained from his face while his normally well managed hair was scattered everywhere.

Seeing Draco like that took everything in Rose not to go over and try to talk to him like she did when he was in the hospital after Harry attacked him.

Narcissa was there though, and she looked just about as bad as her son did.

However, after their parting, Rose locked herself back in Bill's old room. Mrs. Weasley tried to talk to her every now and then but it still made no difference. Mr. Weasley would come in to ask about muggle products (as a way to get her to communicate) and though she would help him, she'd stay put afterwards. Tonks came to visit in the mornings while she would come with Andromeda at night, but they couldn't get through to her.

Not even Fred and George seemed to help anymore. Fred came in every chance he could to try and make her feel better, but she felt helpless. As much as she wanted to talk about everything, to get them to understand, she couldn't.

That's what was most stressful. She couldn't explain to them when she wasn't able to do it to herself. So many unanswered questions fluttered around her head that kept her restricted.

"Ro...?" Fred slowly walked in then quietly shut the door.

Rose laid silent, waiting for him to finish speaking before she could start.

"Ro, you can't do this anymore." Fred spoke calmly, "it's not healthy. For you or the little peanut. We don't know what it's like, that's the truth. But you still have us." he sat at the foot of the bed, "I'm not telling you to move on, I don't see how you can, but you can't start something else while you're stuck in the chapter you're in. You are not alone. You never were. Sometimes we all need a good reminder about that. And like I said, I may not be able to know what you're going through but if you let me...I can try to understand."

Rose wiped away a fallen tear before laying on her back. Taking in a few added seconds for herself, she then managed to sit up, "It's just difficult..." She faintly told him.

"What is?"

"Having to explain what's going on in my head when I barely understand it myself, and I'm the one going through it."

Fred scooted closer to her and grabbed her hand, "fine the starting point. It's safe to say I know you fairly well that once you get going, it all comes out."

She shook her head knowing he was right. Then, everything that had been bottled up seemed to have gotten out, "I'm tired. Throughout the day, it hurts but I'm still alright. Then...then night comes, he's not here and I-I'm alone in bed," Tears came down more fluently, "and I can't help but feel it's all my fault. We were just fine untill this and he just broke down. Then he left me with a note. I...I don't want to feel like this anymore..."

"Ro, you're probably the strongest woman I know. Y-You are beyond brave and throughout these years...while you were hurting...you set your pain aside for others. You don't deserve that." Fred tightened his grasp around her hand, "Personally, I don't think you've known how strong you've been during these times. But as of right now, that's the only choice you have left."

She then moved herself next to him. Still hand in hand, she rested her head on his shoulder.

"You can't keep allowing yourself to look at the past. You can't keep thinking about the what if. There's nothing new to see if you keep doing that, you're just hurting yourself more. You can't expect things to be perfect, to just be given to you so easily. Ro, nothing in life comes easily. But at the end of the day it's up to you to decide what you make this situation out to be. You can stay here and cry, or you can stand up and cherish what you still have. You're pregnant for Merlins sake!" He said, "anything I can do to help help?"

She chuckled as she wiped her tears with her sleeve, "make this day erase from existence, that's the best you can do."

"Well, I don't know about that. But George got you a lot of chocolate frogs, might please the baby."

"I don't want to go down..."

"Why not?"

"I'm a mess, Fred. Look at me."

He rolled his eyes and stood up, "come on, at least take a shower."

"I'm not sure if that's worth anything to me."

"It'll make you look less like rubbish that's for sure."

"How do I feel less like it then?"

He shrugged, "there's no real easy ways to start. But like I said, taking a shower might help. It might not. But you'll never know unless you try."

A/N: y'all want chapter 78 today too??? 👀