San Francisco

Chapter V

Time stopped, birds stopped chirping, and all of the sounds in the world are sucked inside a vacuum and now is inside Jennie's heart. The things inside her are so intense it might make her heart explode, but it did not. It beats like a snare drum, like a thousand of it. A thousand of it put in 20 square feet recording studio with all the mixers up at the highest volume. That, that is what Jennie feels like right now. Face to face with the doe eyed woman just after she asked her to be her girlfriend. Like, what in the world does Lisa thinks? She thinks she will be her girlfriend. Well, of course. Who would not want to be Lisa's girlfriend? She will be if she could, but is not the woman asking her to be her girlfriend? Would she say yes though? Is that what she really wants? Is that what is good?

"Jennie." Lisa uttered, her eyes wide, mouth agape. Wanting the feline eyed woman to utter the three lettered word she is expecting to.

Jennie gulped. She wants to say something, but no words came out of her mouth.

"Say something?" Lisa pleaded. Her hands are starting to get sweaty. Did she surprise Jennie that much? But they had made love were not they? Is she doing the right thing? Bambam said she should man up, Jisoo said she should be courageous. She is being courageous right now. She is manning up. Why will not Jennie say anything.

"I want to..." Jennie whispered, now looking at everything except Lisa. Jennie will not lie. She badly wants Lisa to be her girlfriend. Every woman in the world will be happy to replace her. But she is not like those women, she is complicated. Lisa will not love her, crap. Does Lisa even love her? Yes, they did have some fling in New York, kissed in front of the media, shared an intimate steamy night together, but is that enough? Will she even go past the woman Lisa first loved? Or is she just a shadow of that woman.

Lisa lets go of Jennie's hand. She swallowed hard; she is feeling it again. The urge, the urge to leave. The urge to stop giving a fuck. She does not want to stoop low again. She does not want to feel it again. Images of Park Chaeyoung came crashing down like an avalanche. "I don't love you anymore, Lisa...." "It has been two months, I... I'm so sorry, Lisa." Lisa breathed in heavily. Don't, please don't. Lisa pleaded inside her head as she closed her eyes. She will not let that manipulate her anymore.

"Do you even love me?" The question caught Lisa off guard. She opened her eyes and looked at Jennie. There is desperation in Jennie's tone. Because she knows she loves Lisa. She never even knows what romantic love is until she met Lisa. She never even thought that there could really be butterflies all over your stomach until Lisa kissed her that night in New York. She never even felt so safe and secured to show her naked self to someone until Lisa admired her rawness last night. "Because I love you, Lisa." The feline eyed woman added.

The statement caught the doe eyed woman off guard even more.

"I never felt so safe with someone before, until you came. I never even thought I could love someone so naturally. I never even forced myself to love you, like I did with my ex-husband. I just felt it, I fell in love with you the moment you put those pack of frozen beans on top of your nose, you do not even look cool at that moment even if you were trying so hard to, but it... but it sure made me feel something. Like, like a teenage girl swooning over an average teenage boy who only cares about sleek hair and shiny cars. I was so in love with you..." The feline eyed woman stated truthfully. As she grips Lisa hands. She looked into those beautiful doe eyes again. Jennie gulped, "...and I still am."

A tear fell down Lisa's cheek. She never thought Jennie loves her this much.

"So, I am asking you, Lisa... Do you love me?" Jennie asked. The tables have turned this time and Jennie is the one who is feeling anxious as the doe eyed woman opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came of it.