Promised Love//DaiSuga Haikyuu

Part 4: Forever

My beloved, you are my everything

Though many have left

You mustn't fret

Because I will stay with you

Till time stops to tick

Till the earth stops to spin

I will love you till my last breath

So don't you fret

Hugging Suga is like embracing the sun, velvet covers, and life itself, of course, the good part of life, all at once. He is the good in everything. The rainbow after a thunderstorm, the sweet in dark chocolate, or even the relief of saying your mind to a best friend. 

He is that sliver of happiness in the dark, vast sea of people. 

And like all happy things, people treasure him. We treasure things that give us happiness, but what if this precious jewel is no longer happy themself? Do you sacrifice your own happiness for their sake, or simply ignore them when they need you the most?

*****

I could hear sniffling, taking one-step, two-steps, now three-steps, the sound of sadness grew louder. 

Tiptoeing and opening the door just a crack for one of my eyes to see, I saw my beloved bawling in front of the window that looked out into the green meadow in the back of our house.

It felt like something was stuck in my throat, and whatever I did, it simply wouldn't go away. Why was he crying?

"Suga?"

He quickly turned around. "Dai-chan?" 

Rubbing at his eyes and forcing the tears to stay where they were, he smiled at me. A smile filled with sorrow. 

"Hey..." I whispered and sat beside him putting one of my arms around his shoulder. 

He shoved his face against my chest and quickly wrapped his arms around me continuing to cry. What could he possibly be crying for? I'm not good with emotions like he is and I don't even know how to begin asking him.

So, that was that. I sat there hugging him and brushing his hair through my fingers not saying a word. Not like he could respond either from all his hiccupping.

"D-Dai-chan?" He released me just enough to look at me.

"Do you feel good enough to tell me what's wrong?" I asked him quietly.

Suga looked back out the window with teary eyes. "Do...do you feel sad knowing that life always ends the same way?"

Taking a moment to carefully choose the right words, I spoke, "Even with that knowledge, I wouldn't want to live forever."

"Why?" He questioned me.

"Immortality makes you no longer feel emotions and knowing that we have a time when everything has to end...makes me want to enjoy life twice as much than if I were to live forever." 

He held onto my hand. "That does make sense. What about people leaving our life?"

I caressed the top of his hand and drew circles with my thumb. "Change is a scary thing Suga, but it's scarier allowing all that fear and sadness stopping us from growing."

The grip on my hand became tighter as a few tears trickled down his cheek reaching his jaw-line. 

"Death happens to the most unexpected people, at an unexpected moment, in an unexpected way, but it reminds us about memories we are expected to remember. Your mother isn't truly gone, as long as we remember her then she'll stay with us." 

More tears flowed out of his eyes. "I didn't even get to say goodbye! She died, all alone in that stupid, lonely hospital room!"

I brought him into another hug and held onto him tight. "Your mother isn't mad at you for not being there with her, you should know that."

"I know but I-I...I can't help but feel guilty!" He continued to cry into my sweater. 

I rubbed his back trying to calm him down. "You'll meet her again, so don't worry. And...you know what she's going to say when you walk through those gates of heaven?"

He shook his head. "I-I don't know...that she loves me?"

"No, try again."

"Tell me Dai-chan." He grabbed onto my arm and I smiled down at him.

"Welcome home."

~Vincent