You Deserve It

Why?!

"We need to run faster. Come on!"
Raph's heart was beating like it will jump out at any moment. What is happening to his brother? Is he hurt?
Fear was almost overwhelming, but Raph kept going.

"Okay, we are here. Last time we got inside through a hole in the ground, but now, I don't know how we'll come in. Just...h-hurry u-up."
Donnie looked at his brother worriedly.
"Raph, I am sure he is okay."
But even he didn't believe in that. He, among with his brothers, saw the liquid that could cause an eerie amount of pain. Four of them couldn't win in a fight against Shredder, so how could only one person save himself from him?

"I got it."
Donnie managed to activate the hole in the floor again. All of them jumped in.
A tunnel seemed much longer this time than before. Blood froze in their veins when they heard muffled screams, spreading across the tunnel. They quickened their pace. Mikey looked like he was hyperventilating from fear for his brother. As they got closer to the door, the screams have gotten louder. They didn't want to believe that was Leo. It couldn't be. No one has ever heard him scream like that before.

"Please, be okay. Please."
Raph muttered under his breath.

As if they had agreed, at the same time they broke down the door. The scenery in front of them was the one they carried for the rest of their lives. Their brother, bloodied, brused, broken, screaming the most agonizing screams of pure pain and terror. Shredder was staring at him mercilessly.
"Do you want me to kill you, Leonardo?"
"YES! AAAAAAARRGGHHHHHH! PLEASE, PL-AAAAARGGGHH! PLEASE, KILL ME!!!"

If it weren't for their trained ninja brains, the turtles would have just kept standing in place, shock on their faces. Splinter was the first one to react. He ran over to Shredder, throwing him into the wall with one trained punch. The turtles have awokened from their trance, and started fighting Shredder as well. Leo's screams silenced.

"Leonardo."
No answer.
"L-leo?"
"Leo!"
"LEO! WAKE UP!"
Splinter, Mikey, Donnie and Raph stood in a circle around Leo. Bloody and beaten, but victorious. They fought the whole army of footbots, with Shredder as their leader.
"Please, Leo! Wake up!"
"It's no use to stay here any longer. We have to carry him back home."

"Dad, is he going to be okay?"
Splinter sighed.
"I truly don't know. Donnatello is the only one with that answer."
Donnie showed up at the living room, where the members of his family already were. He just came back from his lab, where he treated Leo's wounds as best as he could. Raph and Mikey jumped to their feet.
"DONNIE! TELL US!"
"Calm down, please."
Donnie sat down, legs shaking.
"Leo should be okay. But, not straight away. He is...I have to be honest, I...thought I lost him at one moment. His heart stopped beating. Still, I managed to bring him back. His condition is very serious. Shredder punched him and cut him, and the liquid that caused him so much pain also damaged his body greatly. I think that with proper care, he should be okay."
Everyone was deeply affected by Donnie's words.
Splinter observed his son's face.
"Is that all you have to say?"
Donnie looked up.
"No, I...found something else. I had to remove his hand wraps and discovered cuts. At first I thought they were the ones Shredder has made, but I looked closer and saw that...they were older. Some were already scars, and some were from about three days ago. They even had a familiar pattern, it was Leo's knife. Dad, I think...I think Leo cut himself."
The silence that occured was louder than any sound. The atmosphere of shock leaned over the room.

"Why."
All eyes in the room were now looking at Raph.
"Why would he do that?"
Splinter watched the way his son's face twisted in sadness.
"WHAT HAVE WE DONE WRONG?! WHAT HAS MADE HIM FEEL SO BAD HE FELT HE NEEDED TO CUT HIMSELF TO ESCAPE FROM IT?!"
"Raphael, calm down!
Raph looked at his father, eyes full of tears.
"Sorry. I just..."
He couldn't finish his sentence. He got up and ran to his room. The rest of the family didn't stop him. Every one of them was wondering the same thing Raph yelled.

Not even Raph's punching bag could make him feel better. He almost destroyed it. He just didn't understand. Guilt was eating him from the inside. Why?!
Hot tears were dripping from his face.
It's his brother, he should have noticed something...they all should have. But they were so oblivius.

Raph wiped his tears away. He has to see Leo. His head echoed from Leo's screams in his mind. He remembered the scene so well. His brother was yelling that he wants to die, voice so full of agony and suffering. The red-masked turtle went out of his room, walking towards Donnie's lab.

"Leo..."
Leonardo was laying on the table, the same one Mikey was recovering on a month ago. His arms were wrapped in clean, new badnages. His skin was  bruised and pale. He looked so sad.
"You know, I was wondering when you were going to show up."
Raph turned in the direction of the sound. Donnie and Mikey were sitting on the floor, leaning onto each other.
Donnie smiled weakly at him.
"I guess we are all thinking the same thing now, huh?"
Mikey lowered his shoulders.
"Yep. Why would our brother hurt himself."
The room was quiet for a few minutes. Then Raph spoke in a helpless voice.
"Where is dad?"
"I think he is in his room. He looks calm, but I know he is a mess from the inside. We all are."
"Guys? I think that...Well, I think that coming to Leo's room could give us some clues about this."
Donnie and Raph looked at Mikey, surprised.
"Actually, that's a good idea. Let's go."

"He would kill us for touching his stuff."
Raph chuckled humorlessly.
"Yeah. But we have to. Maybe he wrote something down or something like that."
Raph stood up from the floor. Where didn't they search? His eyes were scanning the small room. They stopped at Leo's desk. He still hasn't looked into the drawer under the desk. He quickly walked to the it, opening the drawer. Inside, there were small action figures, a few comics and a notebook. Raph grabbed it.
"Guys, I think I've found something."