Being Myself

Revealing

Little rant about the video. Wow. That's all I can say. It was amazing. The guys did a great job. Also in case you didn't notice...Zayn has a great vibrato in his verse. And he added his own R&B touches in the bridge which were...amaZAYN!!! Hope you all enjoy.

Harry's POV:

I wanted to smash something. I was that furious. How could Simon do this? A very tense and uncomfortable silence had settled in the hotel room. All fiv- Sorry, all four of us were in shock and were beyond furious. Words were not needed to express our feelings, the looks on our faces said it all. If a kid saw us right now, he or she would probably be terrified of us. But more than any of us, he would be scared of Liam. I have never and I mean Never seen Liam so angry. His eyes had gone dark and there was a fierce scowl on his face. To be honest, even I was feeling a bit scared. Suddenly out of no where I heard a loud sound. Something broke. I jumped a bit and looked in the direction from which the sound had come. A vase, or atleast what was left of it, was lying on the floor with a furious Niall hovering above it. I take back my previous statement. It was Niall who looked the most furious. Seeing him like this made me raise some serious questions. What has happened to all five of us? What has the management done to us? Where did the happy and bubbly Niall disappear?  Where did the caring and gentle Liam disappear? Where did the Sass King Louis disappear? Where did the healthy and happy Zayn go? Where did the old Harry go? When was the last time Niall truly laughed? When was the last time Liam was truly happy? When was the last time that Harry was cheeky? When was the last time Louis sassed on his own will? When was the last time Zayn talked without breaking down or without being emotionless? When was the last time all five of us were happy, truly naturally happy? Honestly I don't remember. I don't have the answer to any of these questions and I am sure the other guys as well don't.

Honestly I feel bad for Zayn. What crime had has he committed for him to face all these punishments? He must be in so much pain. Knowing him, I know that he will be thinking that we will hate him. That the people will hate him. We will never hate him. No matter what happens. He was, is and will always be our own. We were on a video call when he told us about the deal so we could see his expression clearly. Guilt was clawing at him, regret was clearly visible in his eyes and tears threatened to spill over. But somehow he managed to keep them inside. I don't know why he bottles up all his emotions. From what I have gathered he thinks that if he cries in front of people close to him, he will end up hurting them. But what he doesn't understand is that by not expressing his feelings, he is hurting us all even more. He is a very wierd guy. The sufferer in silence type of guy. But till when can he keep it all to himself? Doesn't he realise that by keeping it all inside, he is actually harming himself?

What are you doing to yourself Zayn?

Zayn's POV:

Guilt. Disappointment. Regret. These are the only emotions inside me right now. Ever since I told my mother and the lads about the deal, these are the only things I am feeling. The sight of my momma crying broke my heart. Tears were forming in my eyes but I refused to cry in front of her. I have caused enough pain. Seeing the expressions on the lads faces was also heart breaking. Their faces represented the emotions of the thousands and millions of people. They were all furious at me. They were furious that I even considered accepting the deal. They didn't tell me but I understood. This is what will happen when the public fallout happens. People will also be furious at me. They will hate me just like the guys do right now. Suddenly I start to regret my decision of leaving the band. Did I do a right thing by leaving? Just as I was thinking all these things, my phone vibrated. I had a message from Harry.

Harry: I know what you are thinking. None of us hate you. We were not angry at you. We were furious at Simon. Zayn, we all discussed with a cool mind and came to the decision that you should go ahead and accept the conditions. Atleast your career won't be ruined. And don't worry. None of us will be angry with you.

I smiled reading Harry's text. What did I do to deserve these lads? Honestly, I don't have the answer to that question. I heard a knock on the doit and it opened to reveal my father. He came and sat down on my bed. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me that he was proud of me for standing up for myself. He told me that he and mummy would support me no matter what. That I should accept the conditions rather than ruining my career. After contemplating for a while I made my decision. I will accept his conditions. So what if I can't keep in contact with the lads in public. I can always be with them in private. The people...now that is something I have no idea about.

They won't hate me right? I and the lads can still be in contact right?

(A/N) :Hey guys. So this is the second chapter. I feel so bad for Zayn and even the guys and his parents. They all are going through so much just because of Simon and the management. And well...wow. Niall is angry. And so is Liam. But can we blame them?

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Happy reading!!! :)