Gone Girl

Chapter 40

Veronica's birthday

I'm that unlucky. My 'first' day of school is exactly during my birthday but I cannot miss any other day, the principal already said I'd have to go to summer school or I'll completely fall behind and repeat my junior year.

It's not like I even have anything planned for today, I think the only people who know it's my birthday are Nicole and Louis.

I woke up early today, surprisingly.

I walk to the bathroom and I brush my teeth and my hair.

My hair is so thin and dull, it used to be so healthy, long, and full before.

I look at myself for a few more seconds and I wish I could say I like what I see, but I don't.

I used to think I was pretty decent, average body but now I look malnourished and like I could faint anytime, with dark circles and red eyes all the time.

My skin looks horrible, a few pimples on my forehead and they only started appearing when I started smoking. I should stop...

But I know I won't.

I put on a pair of baggy ugly jeans and a light blue top with a bit of cleavage, although my breasts are small.

I can't wait for school to be over so I can party and do cocaine every day.

I grab some old shoes I haven't worn in months and I don't even think I bothered to clean them recently.

Gosh, I'm disgusting. I used to put effort into my appearance because I truly cared about myself. Now even taking a shower feels like a chore.

Maybe I should try... for once, to put myself together. Maybe tonight I'll have a couple of drinks with Dominic.

It's my birthday after all. I'm turning seventeen years old and it's not making me feel any better. I just feel worse.

Almost eight months since I lost everything, it never gets better.

I walk to the school and after fifteen minutes I arrive. I did not miss this place.

The moment people notice my presence they all turn to me and obsessively stare as if I look horrible and unrecognizable.

I can't blame them.

I sprint inside and I'm glad I see Nicole... although I can't say the same about Louis.

I'm still angry at him, he could have done so much more for her.

"Hey, how are you?" I ask Nicole and she smiles. She is wearing a lot of makeup, especially foundation.

She was always big on makeup but it feels weird and uneven today.

"I'm fine. I'm glad you are back," she says giving me a quick hug and I frown when I accidentally look at Louis.

I wonder what Derek is up to, it's been two weeks since I last saw him. He called me a few times but I ignored him, I don't want to get too attached.

He also said he was gonna handle James but I don't know anything about that.

"I'm sorry for asking but do you know anything about James?" I ask her curiously, I'm just worried Derek got in trouble.

She immediately flinches when she hears his name and I regret the question.

"Ehm- I- I don't know." She is lying. Definitely. But I don't want to pressure her.