Gone Girl

Chapter 39

I take a deep breath and a few flashbacks flood my mind before I can even continue speaking.

His dirty lips violently pressed against mine, his hands wrapped around my body. This brings me the worst memories.

The memories from that morning.

When my rapist-

"And what? Please, finish," he says impatiently. I can tell he is mad at James and the moment I leave, he will beat his ass. I would gladly want that but I don't want Derek to get hurt again, he is still injured.

I can't... I won't tell him the rest because I'm extremely concerned about how Derek will react and I can't stand seeing him in pain again.

What would have happened if I froze? If I didn't fight back? Is this all I deserve? I keep getting harassed and it's more than I can handle. The thoughts of killing myself are constant in my life, I always think about it.

What methods should I use, if I should leave a note, how people would react and the only thing keeping me here is the small comfort cocaine gives me, the pain it would cause to my mom and my friends.

"I'm just scared for Nicole. I'm terrified he will hurt her more," I admit and he seems unsure.

"I'll 'talk' to him," he calmly says, air quoting 'talk' and despite his relaxed face, I can tell he is fuming.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. I'll bring Dominic." I breathe a sigh of relief and he caresses my arm, an immediate feeling of warmth pulsing through my body.

"You are so sweet..." I let my mind speak before I realize and he gives me an innocent smile.

"Perhaps you deserve every ounce of sweetness." He lowers the tone and it gives me butterflies, just like a little child.

Those words... is something I always desired to hear. The fact that he thinks I deserve good things, that I'm not as horrible as I see myself-

He puts his hand on my lower thigh, which makes me slightly flinch, but not in a bad way.

Derek's presence is the most comforting thing.

He drives off with his hand on my thigh and I can't even breathe let alone move. I stare at the views quickly passing by the window and I must look so awkward right now.

"I'd gladly stay with you but I just started working part-time."

"Wait, for real? That's amazing." I congratulate him and he smiles, giving my thigh a pleasurable squeeze that brings back the previous feelings.

Derek, lift that fucking hand before I lose it and kiss you.

I mentally laugh at my thought and it's quite embarrassing, if he could read my mind-

"I just help with repairing cars but it's better than nothing."

"That's kinda hot," I murmur as I imagine him shirtless, sweating, and getting dirty while repairing cars.

He turns to me, giving me a smirk I haven't seen in so long.

I look into his eyes for a few seconds and I accidentally look at his soft lips but I immediately look away, remembering the first time we kissed and how much I miss being that close with him.