Whump & Comfort | Scomavi Oneshots

4. Anxiety |5|

When Avi regained consciousness, he was lying on the sofa with his head resting in Scott's lap.

"There he is" he heard a soft voice. Mitch.

The bearded man furrowed his brows and tried to remember what had happened. A dull throb reminded him. "My finger" he mumbled and look down onto his hand.

"It was just a small cut, no worries, we bandaged it." Another voice. Esther.

Avi hummed. "But there was so much blood."

"It's okay. You will live."

Avi looked up at his fiancé, who's voice sounded flat to him. "Oh okay." He didn't know what to make out of Scott's behaviour.

"Scott!" Mitch's voice was sharp and he glared at his best friend.

"What?"

Avi was confused. His mind was still fogged, but he noticed how tense Scott was. "What happened, Scott?"

"You had a panic attack and apparently it wasn't the first one," Scott said his voice still flat.

Avi blinked a few times then looked at his sister. "You told him?"

"Of course she told me. She should have told me after you had the first attack" Scott replied.

Esther sighed. "Scott, I already told you that I promised him. It wasn't easy on me as well but I thought he was fine. I thought that it was just a one-time thing" she said.

"Still you should have told me, especially with the wedding coming up" Scott argued.

"Scott" Avi interrupted them. "I told her to keep it a secret. I didn't want you to worry."

Scott scoffed. "Yeah, we all know how this ended."

"Scott! Stop it. What you doing is unfair. I know that you're worried and angry and you have every right to be, but don't take it out on Avi. Not right now."

The bearded man winced when he heard Esther's raised voice.

"Yes, but-" the blonde started, but he was interrupted by Mitch.

"Scott? If you don't stop that right now he'll have another panic attack!"

Scott replied something but Avi didn't get it. He felt his heartbeat quicken once again and while he tried to stay as calm as possible he knew that he couldn't dodge this one. "Please" he whispered.

"I'm here. don't worry love I'm here." he was able to make out these words and together with Scott soft touch on his skin, he knew that he was safe.

The panic attack still was hard on him, but somehow with Scott's help he made it through and once he had calmed down he opened his eyes try to focus on his fiancé. "I'm sorry" he slurred.

"Don't talk. Rest. you must be exhausted." This time Scott's voice was back to its usual softness and Avi was able to relax and drift off.

~

When he woke up again, he was lying on the sofa alone. There was a pillow underneath his head end a blanket spread over his body. "Mmhm Scott?"

"Yes, love? How are you feeling?"

Avi took a deep breath. "Better. Where are Mitch and Esther?"

"I sent them home" Scott replied.

"But... dinner and wine..." Avi started to argue.

"Avi it's past midnight. You were out like a light" Scott replied.

"Mmhm," Avi hummed. "That was a lot."

"Yes, but you made it through the day" Scott replied. "Do you still need anything? Food or something to drink?"

Avi nodded. "Tea maybe? And... I should eat something, but..."

Scott smiled slightly, "You're not hungry, hmm? Some cheese to nibble on maybe?"

"Please. And... can we talk?"

"We should talk, Avi, that's true, but only if you feel that you're ready. If you need more sleep or time, we'll wait until tomorrow" Scott said softly.

"No. I want to talk right now if you don't mind. I... need it off my chest" Avi said. "Unless you're tired?"

"I'm never too tired for you, Love. I'll prepare some tea, you'll wait here, okay?" The blonde leaned down to press a soft kiss onto his fiance's temple.

Ten minutes later they were sitting on the sofa together. Avi was nibbling on a piece of cheese and Scott gave him time to sort his thoughts.

"Esther told you that I had a panic attack at the tailor shop?" Avi finally spoke up.

"She did" Scott confirmed. "But I want to hear from you."

Avi nodded. "Yeah. Well, I don't know how or why this happened. I was so happy when I finally had my suit together. I really felt like a groom, I knew that my suit was perfect. But then I... I don't know, I started to panic somehow, and I don't know why. Esther helped me, of course, and she brought me home, made sure that I was comfortable."

Scott listened closely. "Was this the only attack?"

"Yes. Until today it was" Avi replied. "And I don't really know what happened today. It was so sudden. Like it never happened that quickly. And I really blacked out. I don't remember anything between the cut and waking up on the sofa."

"You fainted. Mitch found you. Thankfully you didn't hit your head so we just waited. You were only out for ten minutes or so" Scott explained. "And I am sorry for pushing you into the second attack. I harmed you and I should have thought before I acted."

"It's okay. We both messed up. I should have told you" Avi replied. "But I didn't and I am sorry."

"It's fine." Scott smiled slightly and took Avi's hand, squeezed it softly. "Do you have any clue why you panicked?"

Avi looked down. "I... I suppose, but... please don't hate me, okay?"

Scott was alarmed, but he did his best to keep calm. "I could never hate you, Avi. What is it?"

"I think it's because of our wedding," Avi said.

Scott didn't reply immediately. It was only when he felt Avi get anxious that he cleared his throat. "It makes sense."

"What?"

Scott looked up. "I noticed that you never were fully into wedding planning. I mean you loved the venue and I doubt that you don't want to get married to me, but you were always faltering when it came to making decisions. Maybe that was your subconscious trying to make sure that you wouldn't be overwhelmed?"

"I... I don't know Scott. I just know that I want to get married to you, that much is true. And I..."

When Avi stopped talking, Scott saw the tears pooling in his eyes. "You know it, hmm? You just don't want to say it, because you feel like it's not true until it's out" he said.

Avi sobbed and nodded.

Scott pulled him into a tight hug. "It's okay, Love, I'm here. You're not alone" he said over and over to calm his boyfriend down." Once the sobs died down, Scott spoke up again: "Tell me. I won't judge."

"I... everything about this day scares me, Scott. I wanted to go through with it because deep down inside I know that it will be an amazing day, but it's difficult. I only see the bad things: I could get cold feet, you could say no. Something else could happen. And right now when I think about this day, I think about panic. I... it's so unfair because I want to get married. I love you, but I feel like I can't do it and I am so sorry, Scott. I love you, but I can't."

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