Whump & Comfort | Scomavi Oneshots

4. Anxiety |6|

"I... everything about this day scares me, Scott. I wanted to go through with it because deep down inside I know that it will be an amazing day, but it's difficult. I only see the bad things: I could get cold feet, you could say no. Something else could happen. And right now when I think about this day, I think about panic. I... it's so unfair because I want to get married. I love you, but I feel like I can't do it and I am so sorry, Scott. I love you, but I can't."

Scott had a hard time understanding his fiance, but he tried nevertheless. "Okay..." he said to buy himself some time.

"It's not ok, Scott. It's awful. How can you be scared to get married to the love of your life?" Avi replied. He shook his head. "I'm a failure."

"You're not a failure. You are the most amazing man I have ever met. I love you and no matter what, we'll get through it. I know this all seems to be a disaster, but we'll make something wonderful out of it" Scott spoke up.

"No. This time we can't, Scott. There's nothing we can do. I'm scared of this day. So many people and... I don't know, it's just too much." Avi started to pick at his cuticles. "I really wanted to go through with it... I thought I could do it."

"But you don't have to. Not if it makes you uncomfortable. I don't believe when people say the wedding day supposed to be the best day of your life, nevertheless, it should be a wonderful day and it can't be a wonderful day if you're scared, Love" Scott spoke up. He noticed his fiancé's behaviour and reached over to take his hands. "Don't." His voice was soft, he just didn't want his boyfriend to hurt himself.

"Sorry," Avi said. He sighed. "What do we do now?"

Scott took a deep breath. "I wish that I had a magical solution for everything, but I don't. But be sure that I will do everything I can to make you comfortable. I mean we want to get married and we will get married. Maybe we will have to make some changes about the way we're going to do this, I don't know. I just know that I want you to be happy."

"I want to be happy with the wedding we've planned," Avi said. "I love the venue and -" he shook his head. "Maybe I can still do something about it maybe the therapist can help me..."

"Maybe she could help you take the edge off, but I want you to be 100-percent sure. I don't want you to suffer a panic attack on our wedding day or whenever you think about it. You told me that you are unwell thinking about it at and I don't want this for you. I'll do whatever it takes for you to be happy. And if we have to go as far as cancelling the big wedding, I would do it." the blonde softly kissed his fiance's cheek. "No matter what we'll be alright."

"Cancel?" Avi asked. "We can do this?"

"Of course we can. It's only a last resort for me, but we can cancel" Scott explained patiently. Of course, he didn't want to cancel their planned wedding but he wanted to make sure that Avi knew it was an option.

"I don't know, Scott, what about the people we've invited? What would they think about us and..." Avi shook his head. "We already worked so hard on it. I don't want to cancel it because of my stupid anxiety. I just want to be happy for once."

Scott noticed immediately that Avi was getting fidgety and that his breathing started to quicken. "We should skip the rest of this conversation," he said decidedly.

Avi shook his head weakly. "No, I-"

"Love, your anxiety level is too high and you've already been through so much today," Scott said softly. "And I don't want you to suffer another attack. Especially not now."

Avi opened his mouth to say something but then sighed. "You're right. Do you think I should take some meds?"

"I think it would be better. Just to calm your thoughts" Scott said softly.