Not So Innocent ~Spencer Reid~

Chapter 18

Two weeks ago you realized you liked Spencer. Since then, everything's been amazing. Probably too amazing, but you're caught up in the glorious man that is Spencer Reid. And he likes you. You of all people.

The past two weeks have consisted of Spencer and you going out a bit, taking naps together when he's home, and reading together. The worst part about this relationship is when he has to leave for work. He goes off to another state most cases, and it hurts being alone. Not only does he help your nightmares, but you're not using him for that anymore, you actually like him. Like a lot.

The two of you are sitting up on his bed, he's reading and you're half paying attention to your own book and half thinking. He looks so good as he moves the hair out of his face and turns the page of his book.

You look up towards him. He notices for a second, giving you a blushed smile and returns to his reading. You smile, thinking how lucky you are to have someone like him.

Spencer and you head out to get some coffee. The October air is cool against your skin, blowing through both of your's hair. You had to park a bit far since the small parking area was full. Neither of you mind it, happy to walk side by side with your coffees in hand.

Spencer grabs your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as you walk. You decided to go to that book shop you went a couple times before.

You pick out a book, giving the owner a bit of money because she was sick of you two just going in there to read without paying, and sit down in a cozy chair beside Spencer. You're in the back corner that's lit up with fairy lights and a lamp. The warmth of the building gives you comfort and serotonin.

The both of you read and read and listen to the soft music playing from the front of the shop. You've finished your coffee by now and are flipping through the pages as you take in the story within them.

Your mind starts to wonder, and you say out loud "Ya know, I've never had a boyfriend before."

"Really?"

You shake your head, "Never. I mean, I don't count fourth grade when I held hands with another kid for two minutes." You chuckle.

He gives you a small smile. "I've never been one that's good at flirting, so really me either about the relationship thing. I don't know how to start a conversation that girls would be interested in, or guys for that matter."

"Well I think you're quite charming."

"Why thank you," Spencer chuckles. "I guess I was just really young in high school, so I obviously couldn't date anyone then. And in college, I was still young, but I had a girlfriend when I was getting my first PhD. We didn't last super long."

"Was that it?" You knew his heart had been broken, or at least figured as much based off of his previous comments about relationships.

"No. There was one more. She uh... well..." the sight of his face falling in remembrance tugs at your heart. "Her name was Maeve. She was smart and kind and I loved her. I never got the chance to tell her though. She was... in danger, and I couldn't save her."

Your mouth falls open in shock. A few tears threaten to spill out of your eyes in hurting for him. "Spencer, I... I am so sorry you had to go through that."

"She died right in front of me," he wipes away a few tears. "Honestly, I wasn't sure if I'd move on, but it got better. And being here with you, well I really really like you."

You shoot him a small smile and put your hand over his. I think I love him. Is it too soon? There's no way. But a feeling in your heart and your mind overwhelms you, it's something you've never felt before.

I can't do this. I cannot hurt this beautiful, broken man. You realize then and there that you cannot follow through with this plan. He cannot be broken even more. You need to end this, not let him fall for you more. Your stomach is a mix of emotions swirling around, you love him but you need to let him go. You've done too much. This has gone too far. He needs to be as far away as possible from you for his own good. Tears fill your eyes again, and you try to push them back, try not to let Spencer see.

The two of you go home, not talking a whole lot on the way there. You don't know what to say. Spencer's girlfriend died in front of him, and you're the worst thing that could be in his life.

You both get into your pajamas, and crawl into bed. He lays on your shoulder, eyes drooping. You kiss his forehead, knowing what you have to do.
I love you.

855 words. why does barely anyone like this story lmao😭😂