Not So Innocent ~Spencer Reid~

Chapter 20

Spencer lays down on his bed in silence. He hasn't been a work for a few days, and he hasn't really felt like doing anything.

People aren't lying when they say love is blind; he was too caught up in her to realize he was being tricked. A genius with amazing profiling skills didn't realize he was being lied to every single day.

She did it with such ease. The way she talked about her old life with her parents, the college thing, the kidnapping, the way she said "I love you" . He couldn't believe any of that was real now. She said it and seemed like she meant it. How could someone say they loved someone else and not mean it? And how did she lie so easily?

When grabbing a pair of sweats, he finds a piece of paper folded up. He unfolds it and begins to read it.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry. For everything. When you're reading this, I'm hopefully long gone. You're doing your job right now, making people safe, and I have to go. I wish I didn't have to hurt you. I just want you to know that you helped me so much. With more than you'll ever comprehend with that brilliant mind of yours. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for caring. And thank you for giving me what felt like a home for the first time in a long time. I've lied about so many things, and for that I cannot express how much guilt I will carry with me as I leave you behind. I love you. - Y/n."

A few tears falls from Spencer's eyes. He crumbles the note up, but puts it in his jean pocket.

Spencer was angry when he first found out. Angry at Y/n for lying and using him, but mostly angry at himself for not seeing it. He was angry for days and days, until now when he runs his hand through his hair and tries not to cry more.

Spencer releases a sigh from his mouth, and leaves his room. In the car, he makes a call to Hotch. He says he won't be coming in today either, that he needs some more time. His boss feels bad, so he allows this.

The team had been checking on his since the day of her arrest. JJ came by every day she could after work to see how he was doing. He didn't say much about the subject at all. No one knew how much this affected him, but they knew it hurt.

He pulls up to the prison hours later. He states it down, taking in a deep breath.

"I'm Dr Spencer Reid with the FBI, I need to talk to an inmate about a crime." He flashes them his badge. They let him in, only because of his job.

After a moment, Spencer walks into the room where Y/n is handcuffed to the table.

You stare down at the handcuffs binding you to the table. Who could want to talk to you? When the door opens again, your heart drops. Spencer Reid stands in front of you with a stone face. He's beautiful even when he's angry and hurt.

"Now I want an explanation. I think I deserve that."

You nod, "You do deserve one."

"Why did you say you loved me?!"

"I do love you. I didn't lie about that."

"If you've lied about everything else, how can I believe that?"

"My feelings for you... What I feel for you is real, Spencer. I couldn't fake that."

"Just stop. Stop. Tell me why you lied about everything. Tell me everything."

You take a deep breath. "When I was sixteen, my parents died, and there was no family members that wanted to deal with a grieving brother and sister. So we were shipped off to some lovely family, and turns out they were leaders of some gang. And if we wanted a home, we had to join. If we didn't... well we were just collateral damage. So I became some type of precious hitwoman for them to force to do their bidding... and I couldn't stop..." you take another breath, fighting tears back. "I tried. I tried to get out, I tried to leave... but I saw second hand what happened when someone tried to leave them... I was 20, I didn't want to die. So I stayed. And I became used to it. It was like a second nature to me, which is horrible. I know how bad that sounds, but it's true.

"The day of the bust, when I saw you, when you stood over me, I knew that was my chance to get out. That was my chance to be free. Free from everything that I've done, everything that I've seen. So yeah, I lied about almost everything. And I'm not trying to make it seem like it was okay, but I didn't want to go to prison. I didn't want to be with people who loved doing what they did, who didn't feel any remorse for it. Because of course I felt bad. Of course I carry that guilt with me every single day. But I know how to hide that shit. So I'm sorry.. but I didn't lie when I said that I loved you."

Spencer Reid is shocked, wordless. "I don't even know what to say... I- I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm still a monster."

"Technically, you were threatened to do those things."

"I wasn't threatened to lie to FBI agents about why I was there."

"It could get your sentenced lessened if you would speak up about how they made you."

"Spencer, no. I deserve this."

"What if they have you executed?"

Your stomach turns, it seems like his does too.

"Then I die."

"Y/n, no. Look, as much as I'm pissed and upset about this you don't deserve all of this punishment. You were a kid."

"I can't ask of you to help me at all."

"You didn't ask."

You nod your head, tears spilling over from your eyes. The man you love, who you lied to, who is the opposite of everything you've done, walks out of the room ready to help. You don't deserve his help. You don't deserve him.

You were a monster in the arms of an angel you made you feel less broken and more free.

He saved you in every way possible. He broke your chains.

1081 words. that's the end folks😅🥺 wow it kinda hurts to be done with another story. i really really really hope you guys enjoyed. be sure to comment!! and read my other stories. this one is a personal favorite of mine and i kinda feel like it's underrated haha (sorta jk, not that conceited). if you have any questions dm me or on my insta @ gubevsp <3 thank you for every last drop of support, my loves.