TAMING APOLLO | completed

41. square one

41. square one

G A Y L E

WE ALL JUST soak up the silence as I desperately cling onto the warm mug in my hands, rolling the blanket around me tightly.

Ariel and Thalia both exchange glances once I've finished sharing the story, and Apollo is sat besides me with a sombre expression, rubbing circles over my back comfortingly.

"So... she's dead?" I nod solemnly at Ariel's words, sighing defeatedly.

"Did she say anything?" Hecate asks, not betraying even a hint of emotion in the process.

Apollo's eyes dart to me, curiosity flashing in his stormy eyes, awaiting my response as well.

I want to tell them what she said, that she loved Apollo but he was never hers... but when my eyes dart out to the sea of expectant eyes, the words are lodged in my throat.

I can't say it. Not now, not in front of all these people...

Or maybe you don't want Apollo to further resent you for letting the love of his life die, my subconscious chides in as my eyes fall onto Apollo. He is still expectantly waiting for me to tell him what she's said. 

I shrink into my blanket with a soft head-shake. "No." I answer sheepishly, turning my gaze away from the slight disappointment that drops onto Apollo's face.

Silence engulfs the room for a long moment. My mind drifts back to Cyrene.

She's gone. She's really gone.

I even feel different, emptier.

The quietness is interrupted when the sound of someone clearing their throat echoes throughout the room.

My eyes dart up to meet the heavy glare of Artemis, who is leaning against the doorway almost nonchalantly. Her face is hardened like always, lips pursed into a thin line. Her dark eyes glare into my soul like I did something wrong, like she knows I'm hiding something.

I shiver under her gaze as her eyes finally leave mine and fall unto Ariel. "I need to talk to you." she demands, pointing a finger to Hecate besides Ariel. "You as well."

Hecate and Ariel both exchange glances, though not friendly ones before hopping up at the same time.

Ariel locks eyes with me, sparing me a comforting look before heading out the door followed by Hecate who shuts the door behind herself.

"Guess I'll be going too," Thalia remarks, also getting up from her chair awkwardly with a weird smile on her face. "I should go tell Hercules what happened. I'll-- uh... I'll be back." she mutters, her eyes darting between Apollo and I suggestively as she slowly makes her way to the door.

Eventually, she too slams the door behind herself and disappears into the hallways leaving Apollo and I on our own.

Apollo watches me calculatedly, his face completely unreadable.

This sucks. If only I could read his mind like he could mine. If only I knew what he was thinking.

Is he mad at me for not bringing Cyrene back? Does he blame me? Does he hate me?

"It's not your fault." he murmurs into the air, pinning me down with his soft stormy gaze. My breath hitches at his words, unable to fully process what just happened. "She was already dead when you arrived. There was nothing you could do, so stop blaming yourself." At those words, he intertwines his fingers with mine, squeezing them comfortingly.